"teeth"

"do you know how to become strong?...know your weaknesses first!"

am watching dragonzakura...a very motivational story from the japanese...huhu...a very good booster for my self-down-feeling right now!

tomorrow...31st agust on independence day...am going to be imprisoned in a dental clinic...which i always avoid since i knew colors...but now...i knew better that without experiences i'll never know...
but still...am scared!!!!

"growing"...(can't say matured since i still have "gigi susu")...i realized in life that we have to take chances... staying safe on the sideline...safe forever... won't make us develop...feel all the spices there are in life first then we'll know how to make decisions

so, teeth surgeries would be my next spice...would not hurt "that" much compared to palestinians right?...

go gurl!!!

2 days worth of issue~

i've missed a day...huhu...there goes my aim for 30 entries in ramadhan, but...yesterday was a bit hectic...not properly in my house untill 2 a.m.

so, 2 topics should be talked about today... a topic happened about months ago...n another one happened yesterday

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Egg first or hen first?
March 17, 2009 7:52PM

Dis story happened last Saturday…sory I updated a bit late, my laptop malfunctioned n thnx to ‘dinmat’…it works now…tho am pretty sad d’thesaurus isn’t working…huhu

D’story…

We were having a microbiology lecture on ‘treponema pallidum’. It’s a bacteria causing syphilis…after studying it’s structure, culture bla3…(microbs concern) we took sum of the pathogenesis…n comes d’topic of ‘mode of transmission’… “man is the only host for treponema pallidum n it can only be transmitted btwn humans by close contact!”

The funny thing was when a fren of mine asked a question…

“dr, if treponema can only b infected by human transmission, how can d’first person get infected?”

LOL…

Doesn’t dis question sounds funny?

Sorry, no offense but, if dat’s d’case, how about d’other bacteria…even though dey can b transmitted thru other routes, but still how can d’first creature alive get infected??? It’s like asking who came first, d’hen or d’egg?

Anyway, in a case of bacteria…I hav a damn weird inference,

“mayb… bacteria came from living complex creature out of mutation…”

Is it possible? Juz an assumption…hehe, if not…how can bacteria be confined for example to human only?...n cannot live elsewhere?... for d’hypothesis to come out…do pray I succeed in dis course…:D

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metrosexual
august 28

i heard my dad lecturing one of my brothers...well, i can't deny my sibs and i really care about appearence except the little ones...we just like to look good (but i havn't done a good work on that yet have i?...hehe)

anyway, a quote which my dad used on him catches my inner mind there...

"if everybody hates you but allah loves you, you will be safe here and after"

well, well, well...it really hits me... i came to think...do i want to look good for people to like me? because if i do, it would not be worth it if i violate Allah's rule~

but...appearence really matters to me...(so self cautios...urgh!!!)...one of my friend used to say "syok sendiri la tu"...hahaha... but rationally i think...as a muslim...we have to appear proper because we r representatives of our religion...how much concern we are as "duta kecil" malaysia to other countries we should be more concern on how we look to other religion

appearence to me doesn't mean we need to wear expensive dresses...just look clean and smart...

people in other religion looks on the outside first before understanding the beauty and passion that we felt...(like choosing boyfriends and buying cars...hehehe)...a bit dificult for us normal human being to not judge base on physical appearence...

well...this is my oppinion and i do hope that i can maintain it...words are easier said than done~
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what is your say???

dont try dis at home

written on february 5, 2009
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2 possibilities
feb 5 5:05 a.m.


i've found out sumting really interesting after my trip 2 alexandria wit most of my housemates n few others~

well, again...another particular thing about me i've come to notice...

i dun blend wit public @ crowds easily...lol, dis is my 'assumption' only ok...mayb bcoz i dun like useless talks...

but i end up feelin LONELY...pretty sad ryte?

at first i dun u'stnd y, n i hate being left aside not knowin wut were others talkin about, but i came into a solution...

b prepared 4 2 possibilities...

get it?

e.g.

u r in a crowd of havoc peoples

if u prepare urself wit d'fact dat people'll ignore u even tho u dun like it, u wont feel so bad about urself ryte?...prepare means, bring sum stuffs dat kills ur boredom like novels or games or even music...

plus dis wont make u look so lame...LOL

and, it works wif other personal feeling's problems too...

another e.g.

u were telling one of ur besfren ur biggest problem

if u expected ur fren to not b interested in ur problems b4 telling her/him, so u r prepared...dis'll avoid urself from hating ur fren too much or thinkin she's not so into u

der is always 2 possibilities...n make urself think positive

rmmbr to live ur day wit smiles~....:D

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a totally lame theory....

i've practically done this after the incident (stupid but worth it!) and end up in a state of absolute depressed!

living in a life where u always expect the consequences is so boring honestly...
u fail to take chances...
no surprises in your life...
and most obviously you became a very boring person...
you tend to be lifeless!

i realized when it's a bit too late...just 3 days before my microbiology written exam where i broke down and decided to just let fate take care of my life...luckily my housemates were there supporting me

so, now i am back to a life of full surprises...
(but still can't avoid being eat up by emotional disturbances..."perempuan!")

husnu az-zonn

this topic today is a word usually used in preaches...why?...because, by implementing "husnu az-zonn" helps to unite people...but hearing about it only will not help us doing it...it is proven easier said than done...

a journal recorded on february 21st 2009..by myself

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husnu az-zonn

february 21 3.44 a.m.

Urm, a little bit arabic here~…dat word means think of it in a gud way…

Today, I organized a programme (havnt done dat much work act)…a mentor seminar…anyway, I wasn’t into dat programme much…d thing dat concern me most was my conversation wit kak zatiey~

D’conversation started s I heard husaini said sumting about making d’smart circle lighter and according to d’member’s level, dun make ur mentor member’s annoyed…so I told kak zatiey about an incident happened a few weeks b4 d’midterm xm

At dat tyme, der was dis Dr. dat came from malaysia which I tot wud giv a talk about her career…however, in d’session…she told us about her wonderful experience in UK having d’chance to join “USRAH”…

Y did I highlited dat word~…well I was in a dilemma about all dis societies trying to gather people for d’sake of dakwah n stuffs…plus, frankly…am a bit annoyed at d’way dey invite us to join all those stuff…n having to listen to stuff dat I didn’t expect from dis dr made me made up my mind to leave her session after asking wut I really wanted 2 know about…

I dun hate dakwah n those people gathering n stuff…it’s tottaly up to dem n definitely doesn’t concern me in any way, but…d’way dey presented d”usrah” to me sumhow made me feel…annoyed…(seriously sorry)

So I asked kak zatiey about her oppinion…she b quiet for a while…then she said,

“ am not trying to upset u but I want u to look from another point of view…in surah Nuh, it stated dat prophet Nuh spent “950 years” trying to bid his people on believing in Allah…n inspite being given mor than 9 centuries of tyme, only few answered him n d’others was so determined dat dey put their fingers in their ears puposely not to listen at all!”

Urm…I tot…then she continued…”that dr. myte wanted to tell u guys on how much she missed having d’chance to gather in gps of people dat advices u all d’tyme…now dat she’s working in malaysia, it myte b hard to practise those stuff…n surely, can u continously maintain ur sunat rawatib in malaysia?...so, husnu az-zon lar…she didn’t mean to ask u to join usrah or anything…she was jz glad~”

Sorry dat today’s post is a bit longer than before, but sumhow dis conversation opened my mind…I know dat many people has countlessly told me “try to look on d’bright side”… but dis conversation really did hit me right on my nose…(ouch!)...how I was furiously trying to avoid people’s advice…it was stated in d’Quran act~…

Funny (embarrassing actually) when I realized how stuborn I am…but changing to d’ better good isnt dat easy!...i can do it if I say I wanted to but changing whithout a person’s own will is devastating…and here I realized that changing to become better needs FULL UNDERSTANDING!

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mmm...again i apologize for the spelling mistake...feel free to ask...

hope it opens ur mind too~...

erk...(still feeling embarresed...)

what about exams???

i don't know why i love to talk about this topic...bluarghh...maybe because i have no idea what to write about or maybe i hope i can be of help to my friends right now...

anyhow...this entry today was written on jan 18th 2009...

my experience~

passed d'first trial
jan 18 3:13 a.m.

how can i descrbe dis feeling?

well...am not dat confident i'll perform dis tyme...never felt confident enuf anyway after any xms...but

i cant deny, today...help really comes

well...jz to scratch down a bit of my xperience here...

i finished writing my answers with another hour 2 spare...it came trhu my mind, y wud i waste my time dis other hour...but i decided to stay...brangan kejap...but then i tot better of it...so i stared at my confidently answered paper...after a while i realized...about 3-4 mistakes...

thank god!...honestly...help really comes unexpected!...

d'lesson here...

wasting tyme = the tyme we spent whithout remembering Allah~

alhamdulillah...
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sorry about the spellings...well...that journal was written before i thought of writing proper english...any words difficult can b asked about....hehehe

the hiking

3rd day of ramadhan...really...time runs very fast....huhu

ok...another event that happened on my first year...

to be honest...my actual aim is to study in RCSI...hehe...but miracles happen, i felt calm choosing egypt during filling up jpa's form (almost everybody didn't believe it was my choice...they thought my father talked me into this...'sorry ayah')...but still, i wasn't completely confident.....

so, on my first year winter holiday just after i finished my first exam ever in kasr el aini medical faculty... my friends and i went to 'mount sinai' for hiking...at 1.50 a.m freezing cold at the foot of the mountain, a crazy idea caught into me...

i wasn't confident with myself about medicine...and i thought...why not ask guidance here...i aimed, a stupid aim...

"if i can reach the peek of mount sinai before as-subh, i can succeed in medicine here (egypt) but if i cannot...i would'nt!"

erk~...and up i climbed...with that stupid bet i just made pressuring me...

but i was glad~...glad i made that stupid aim and worked for it...because i did manage to reach the peek befor as subh and, on top of that i am confident with my path right now...plus a lesson came from this experience...

if i am destined to be in a place where i am, so Allah really meant for me to survive...i believe in that clearly because He promises not to put us in a place where we are not able to succeed...

i didn't need to do that bet but i was glad...i learned that i can be pushed further if "I" wanted myself to do it...so, i even in how difficult position we are...we can succeed

"surah albaqarah ayat 286"
-read and feel it's meaning...

be selfish!

now that i've finished my third year...i found out that every year in egypt gives me at least a lesson...and today I'd like to share what i found out after i finished my first year there...

getting to share a whole year with a house of girls taught me something about care...i began to care about other people...and end up being a nosy (sorry gals~)...i think that was my weakness...i tend to sympathize people more than empathize them...-but i should have known that i also am in a state where people sympathize me it's just i didn't realize it yet

so what i did was...i worried so much over some friend result exams should be (on behalf of my observation on them) and end up not doing my best in my own papers...i was afraid that our gap might make them feel down (so ridiculous!)...but i failed to help them personally...i just observe and made my own judgment~

i realized this on my way home back from that written exam...i knew i could answer better but worried so much on how much they could write...after thinkin about it around and around (feeling regretful that i didnt strive my best) i found out where was the mistake...

it's true i should worry about others...but "during" the examination...even how hard i worried about them, it wouldn't help...because at that moment, i am on my own...nobody can help me except for Allah!...and i definitely cannot help anyone there except by du'a...so after that...on every examination i became selfish n strive as best i could...

prioritize ur priorities~

Why now???

1^st day of ramadhan…should’ve written this thing earlier but I got caught up in ‘bio-nik’… So here comes the reason why I chose this month to start jotting…

Well…month of ramadhan also known as month where everybody does good deeds…I can’t deny that since I started experiencing ramadhan in Egypt. The Egyptians are wonderful! ... They help us when we least expect them…it’s a bit difficult to jot down everything that could awe you but I particularly can’t forget how Egyptians really celebrate ramadhan.

Compared to us…’malaysian’…(no offence)…we are focusing more on the feast but they instead really honored the fasting season…for example…

The sadaqah (donation)

‘ibadah

Helping people

As sabr…(they are well known for their hot temper but during this month everybody behaves)

10 last days of ramadhan…

So, let’s be greedy this month because we cannot be assure ourselves to be alive next year!... and this month is definitely special to muhammad’s (s.a.w) followers~

And believing in the quote ‘sharing is caring’… I believe, sharing means I care about others…hope you guys will like to share too

starting at 20

as the month of ramadhan is edging around the corner...i tought, why not heed the hope of my friend and sister (kak fitri) to share my life experience...sorry it took me 2 years to do this (to kak fitri), i am starting now... at my age of late youth. because i think, i can reason apropriately now and hoping people to guide me safely...(urm?)...hehe

anyway...sorry if my posts may look like i am bragging or my oppinion may not click with yours...it is my pleasure for you to voice out what you think of them good or bad...including my grammar

and so...on 1st of ramadhan insyaAllah i'll start recording valuable experience that triggers my inner mind as i venture through this sea of life...(so melodramatic)

my best praers to myself!