communication

among the numerous essays i was required to write in Arabic, last monday, ustazah jihad asked me to write about 'asbab at-tolak'...(causes of divorce)...

lastu mutazawwijah ya ustazah! i replied...hehe
la budda 3ndik thaqofah!...7awil!...errmmm...so anyway, i scribbled away...thinkin hard of reasons reasonably...

i end up jotting down 3 causes
1. no communication
2. being extremely busy
3. loosing the sweetness of early days of marriage (the girls were shy and the guy were gentleman)...ni naimah yg pesan...haha

ustazah jihad was so excited reading my unplanned work...thus she ended up giving me all her tips on how to take care of 'a husband'...elaborating more on my points.
seems like ustaz mahmoud is very lucky to have her...:)

anyway, the most important she said is of course communication!
well, to me...not only in a marriage...in any relationships present in this world, communication proves to be a key solvent.

for example
wouldn't it be very difficult if A n B got into a misunderstanding that got B so upset and B decided to never wanna talk to A...
so how can A explain to B how the misunderstanding happened...
even if it's not a misunderstanding...say for example A actually did something very wrong...shouldn't A be given the chance to explain himself?

through my experience, when i try to advice someone like B to listen, they would say...
"'A' will try to cook up a story to explain himself!...i wont except nonsense!...i dun wanna hear it!"

usually, if this is a couple, A is the guy n B is the girl...and sorry to say, girls get upset easily and are very difficult to accept any other explanation apart from the prove they saw before their own eyes..
(i feel like writing men are from mars and women are from venus...haha)

anyhow...wherever we stand in a relationship, be it husband and wife, girlfriend and boyfriend, among our friends, mom and daughter, dad and son, teacher and student...etc etc...

take care of these relationships you possess...throw away the communication barrier...learn to listen and be wise in responding...

"limaza kullu hazihi dhojjah? taqulu bil hudu' lau samaht~..solli 3ala muhammad!"

(why are you scolding? please, say it calmly~ solli 3ala muhammad!)

a sentence i learnt from ustazah jihad

and the most precious relationship that should be our utmost priority to keep is between ourselves and Allah...:)

this reminds me of a story ustaz mahmoud told us in one of the fiqh sirah classes...of our amirul mukminin Umar al Khattab...(i apologize first cause i dun remember precisely who were the other characters in this story)

so...a delegation from another country came to Madinah al Mukarramah to meet the leader of islam Umar al-Khattab...he asked around for his throne...and a guy responded..."there he is under that tree..." pointing at Umar al-Khattab
"owh!...thanks, but how do i meet him?" the delegation asked
the guy was confused?...does he need to explain how to walk to the obvious tree in front of them?
"just go there and meet him!" he replied~

how communication was made very easy before, even the most feared leader of Islam can be confronted by normal people... without all the hustle of bureaucracy~
a result of our beloved Prophet's guidance...

reminding myself mostly and to whomever reading this
Ramadhan is approaching....~

a very interesting video i found from a friend's facebook...:)