August 02, 2011

precious

"my precious"...it reminds me of Gollum from LOTR
(if u have the time...do click the link above and watch Gollum/Smeagol's internal affairs...until he succeeded...it reminds me that in Ramadhan...all the devils are tied up...so the one we are actually fighting with is...OURSELVES!)

before last two days...when i felt "relatively neutral"...
i know, Ramadhan is coming...and everybody is making it "The Matter" to be talk and think and hope about...
i get the intention...and i also thought i myself yearned for Ramadhan to come...
watching you tube, reading articles...praying "Allahumma Ballighna Ramadhan"...
or so i thought i've felt it...

but, just hours away before we welcome this Holy Month...
while i was in my Quran class with ustazah Maha...she got a phone call, that told her...
a junior in 2nd year passed away...Innalillahi wainna ilaihi roji'uun...

Ustazah Maha was so affected as she had taught that junior once...
every few ayat i stopped at, she'll mouth out these words...

"owh, her mom...she just flew back to malaysia"
"owh, her dad...what would he say to her mom..."
"in just 4 hours it'll be maghrib, and she missed it..."

and then, in my arabic class...ustazah jihad poured out her heart

"liyana, you know, now that i think of Khadijah (her daughter)...only 1 year and three months...everyday i see her wake up, starting to walk, eat, laugh, cry...i can't imagine how i'd be if she was taken away from me...and a mother that saw her child grew up to the 20ies...owh...her family and friends must be very devastated!"

"you know how meaningful is the du'a 'Allahumma Ballighna Ramadhan' that Rasulullah s.a.w. taught us?...it's not just some prayer you chant out after the solah absentmindedly...we really can't know for sure if we get to be in another Ramadhan..."

and after performing Maghrib prayer with her, she shook my hand and said
"Congratulation ya liyana! our first maghrib in Ramadhan!" beaming radiantly...and added..."Don't forget to pray for Faten Fasehah"...

and that night...after solat terawih...i stood watching her coffin pass by...
there...i took in...how lucky i am to feel and get to perform in another Precious Ramadhan...
owh, how i thought i've felt that...

It's Precious!
*talking to myself...reminding me...
Al-Fatihah to Faten Fasehah...and may Allah strengthen her family and friends~

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