new year's eve

on what level did u set your bar?...(asking to myself)

am not a girl...not yet a women...then???

hehe...a teenager la...
but am out of my teens oredi...

hurm...
up coming new year of the sun...n i've jz celebrated new yr of the moon...
time for reconstructing myself...

countless of things happened, n my mind is drowning thinkin them through...
but, there is compassion sumwhere in there...

not knowing is bad
realizing is good
but acting on wut i've realized is better...
can i???

frustrated if i can't...n i took refuge in the quote : nobody is perfect in this world
should i???

uhuh~
jz got dis out from my community medicine book
"A picture is more valuable than a thousand words"

some explanation...( i promise it won't reach a thousand words~)

try to give every single body their right! i.e, including yours!
(told u it didnt reach a thousand words...)

but...

i shy away from holding it...but no matter how i turn...they still stand in my face!
-my babble after a long sleepy n hungry but interesting n exciting day!

# happy bday to umi nita n aunty niza...sweet 42 tho u guys look twenties...
"when u feel 20 u look 20...it's all from within" - umi nita's tip

#must check out my trip "inside" hussein in facebook (photo album: d'hidden city inside hussein) - xpheline@hotmail.com

#post ust nazrul is very interesting!...n a very HAPPY NEW YEAR

exams~

jz gone thru a quiz...luckily it was in a group...i need to be serious!!!!...huhu...thnx guys...honestly u helped me out soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!!

anyway...exams...is it a big deal?
i noticed today...the feeling of being unprepared for an exam...takut!!!...
real big deal!...

but that was jz a minor quiz...n i freaked out real bad...
comparing it to the day after...can i hold up the feeling of being scared that great?...
this hit me as i recited the following verses...

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

7. And He it it Who has created the heavens and the earth in six Days and His Throne was on the water, that He might try you, which of you is the best in deeds. But if you were to say to them: "You shall indeed be raised up after death," those who disbelieve would sure to say, "This is nothing but obvious magic."

8. And if We delay the tourment for them till a determined term, they are sure to say, "What keeps it back?" Verily, on the day it reaches them nothing will turn it away from them, and they will be surrounded by (or fall in) that at which they used to mock!

9. And if We give man a taste of Mercy from Us, and then withdraw it from him, verily! he is despairing, ungrateful!

10. But if We let him taste good (favour) after evil (poverty and harm) has touched him, he is sure to say: "Ills have departed from me." Surely, he is exultant, and boastful (ungrateful to Allah).

11.  Except those who show patience and do righteous good deeds: those, theirs will be forgiveness and a great reward (Paradise)

surah Hud verse 7-11

"ya Allah...please shove away the ungrateful feeling from us! and please help us to be patient!"

i feel very far whenever am anxious and worried...i need to feel calm...
but having problems doesn't mean am anxious...an easy life doesn't mean am calm...
life~

p/s: happy bday to shae shaari n saidatul akma!

feeling lucky~

last 2 days the vc of university malaya dato' dr. ghauth jasmon gave a speech about their goals...

he talked all about the requirements to be the top university in the world, importance of recognition and the drawback of being average...honestly an interesting explanation...it did push out my narrow mind wider~

but one of his point nudged me...he said we (me n my fellow collegues) are lucky...we got scholarship, proper learning environment, promising future...compared to our parents era n most of other kids my age are facing nowadays without the proper education...

phew! i do feel lucky~..

specifically lucky dat i got into medicine...i need to tribute an individual for dis...who i think played a major role in my being here inspite of his little effort~

about 5 years ago...at the start of my fith year in secondary school...it never occured to me dat i can b in a place like cairo university...bcoz...my grades weren't good enough...i do score A's in certain subjects...but not in "addmath" (additional math)...never even hit 60%...i jz can't get the hang of it...untill my SPM trials...dat was the corner stone!

my result was barely pass...this can never help me get thru even matriculation...n i didnt even consider medicine yet in short term...but a teacher came helping...cg. salleh...he noticed my weakness...but being a carefree student at dat time it didn't bother me dat much...plus, i was never interested in addmath...(and still...hehe)

cg. salleh is an addmath teacher, but in my school he holds the academic affair post (penolong kanan akademik)...meaning he doesnt teach much, being busy with school administration...but!...despite all that...he found tymes to corner me...almost every evening after my trial results was out he would come and search for me at the clss building and teach me in his office...only me!...

real damn special care...i was wondering why he bothered to spend his evenings away from home...just for me...(perasannye...hehe) but, the way he tought me the subject got me interested...he showed me how to use my strength...help me understand the basics...and all the calculating stuff...and it worked...

we had another trial paper about a month before the big exams and walla!...i scored full marks for addmath paper 1...first tyme i got higher than afiq (never got his addmath marks below 97% if am not mistaken)...but i flunk paper 2 a bit so my full mark is way lower than afiq...hehe...(i still feel glad about that...one sweet memory)...and this somehow made me realize dat i could get A1 for my SPM...

alhamdulillah i did...n honestly, i can't thank cg. salleh enough for helping me out in this becoz...if he didn't, i dun think i'd be able to enroll in medicine which i dearly love so much!...that was really luck!...

and i thanx to my other teachers in integomb too...we need to get almost all A's for medicine ryte?...n i would have never got it without their help...i do feel lucky...really, really lucky~

(seb bek x yah study maths n sejarah anymor...hehe)

each cloud has its silver lining

شكوت الى وكيع سوء حفظي

فأرشدني الى ترك المعاصي

و قال ان العلم نور

و ََنور الله لا يهداه عاصي

an arabic poem from my arabic teacher jz now...sorry i dun have the patience to put in the pronunciation marks (it kills me for not being fluent in typing...hehe)...so i'll spell it for you then~

shakautu ila wakii'in suua hifzii

fa 'arshidani ila tarkil ma'aasi

wa qola innal ilmi nuurun

wa nuurullahi la yuhdahu 'aasi

a poem by imam syafie...it means,

i bemoaned (complained) to waki' (imam syafie's teacher) that my memory is bad

so he showed (told) me to leave 'al-ma'siah' (doing bad things)

and he said 'knowledge is light'

and Allah will not give His light to the wrong-doers

this poem touches me very deeply...today

i knew about it before...but never thought it was in a poem-form...

anyway, i guess u understand its meaning ryte?

n truly every cloud definitely has its silver lining!

does this one count as silver-lined clouds?

life is something new for individual discovery...

syafakumullah to my frens who are still ill...may you guys b in ur best health for tomorrow~

# thnx to nicky for lending me her lappy to type in the arabic words~
# there's a song by talib al-habib regarding this poem...thnx to jackster~

anatomy~

so far after stumbling in about 10 core subjects in medicine...anatomy is by far still my favourite subject!

jz feel like putting a picture makes this look attractive...hee

well, by dat doesn't actually mean i still remember all of the details...haha...
but, anatomy gives me some sort of confirmation dat am doing the right thing...in a way...2 incident y...

one-

in one of the first lecture i had in anatomy...an anatomy lecturer told us something i never forgot...
he asked, did you know how much joints are there in your body?...
ermmm...i never knew ofcourse b4 dat...n i googled it up...the answer is not absolute...
but dat dr. said, the answer equals to the no. of 'tasbih, tahmid n takbir' u do everyday after every prayer...which equals to 495...
coincidently, you are grateful for the joint's Allah provide you~

second-

during my second year here...in embryology class...we were discussing the development of gonads...and the dr. explained to us how testis is formed...he said...
"about 1400 years ago, even b4 x-ray is invented, Allah has described the development of testis in surah atTariq"

In the Name of Allah. the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

5. so let man see from where he is created!

6. He is created from a water gushing forth,

7. proceeding from between the backbone and the ribs.

subhanallah...it is precisely the position where testis is developed before it descend...the position of our kidneys now...the exact words in my embryology text book page 153

'Testis develop high up in the posterior abdominal wall but has to descend to lie in the scrotum.'

i jz feel glad to get to know that am dealing with god's creation...of course He knew better...

anyway, the trigger that made me remember this today was our boring nutritional lecture jz now...(hehe)
dr umaimah asked...how many percentage of an adult skin is needed to be exposed to sun to get him or herself enough vitamin D?
many attempted to answer...i guessed 30%...haha...wrong obviously...
the correct answer is 12%-17%...which 'accidently' equals the skin of your face and hands...remarkable ryte!...

hehe...my cousin~...miss her soooooooo much!!!

dr. umaimah said...it's amazing how Allah protects us...u'll never know!...

[sharing while my mind refuse to read the lecture jz now...huhu...:D]

happy birthday mimi

this is a story about a gurl

who lives dis life in a very diffrent way from u n me...

evry morning she opens her huge eyes...ready to discover a new adventure dis world holds for her

never once crossed her minds

to crash with others who have jz s weird life s she has

one lucky day when she refused to step inside the buildings of "integomb"

she met us

the other diffrent life runner in this world...

(me sarah n dayah i mean...n her other bestfrens too)

and so we drew...

as many memories 1 and a half year can hold

to make our friendship last

untill dis moment

n i hope...

till the day after!

happy birthday siti nur hakmi!

our picture about 4 yrs ago...i look so young...haha

mimi...

i miss u so much n all the crap we've done before...hehe

n i jz can't ignore ur bday!...

really...

i hope u have a wonderful life whether here or in the hereafter life...

n get urself a guy gurl - i bet dayah second dis!

am glad i get to see u last september but i hate it dat i didnt prepare anything for u...thnx for the bracelet which was ur hand bag strap...but i like it!

(the poem-like thing up der r jz babbles...honestly, mimi is a cheerful...life bringin kind of gurl!)

unequivocal happiness

i am intrigued...

by the reason of my existance...

whether i am allowed or not to be happy...

but i guess...in whatever situation...it's our own choice to decide our emotional outcome...(the brain is definitely one magnificent 'thing')

as last night i came back from the smart circle programme...(we discussed about 'tomorrow's muslimah'...safwan's book ryte?)...it gave me my confirmation...i knew it all along actually about this 'happy' issue...only, it's jz great to have it in white and black...

the one that caught my attention...one of the last pages in that book...a reply i think i shud remember all my life...

this is happiness in the eyes of Ummu Kalthum binti Ali, the wife of Umar r.a...

though this is from my eyes~

there was once she caused Umar to be upset and angry about their household issue, and Umar said

"i will cause u grave!"

and she replied

"u won't be able to do that...my happiness is in the hands of my faith, and my faith is in my heart and no one have the power to authorise my heart except my God!"

(sorry i translated it, it was actually in malay...any misstranslation do correct it)

so...only Allah can decide whether u can b happy or not...and by putting ur faith totally in Him, u'll always be happy and calm without sorrow~...

i luv being happy!