patient collapse

i was oncall yesterday,
and i get two episodes of patient collapsing...

first was in OT, the patient just came out, he desaturated...the staff nurse called the aneasthetist oncall which happen to be my senior during medical school. what i did - i just stood there watching...
she managed to get the patient's oxygen in blood back to 100% without intubating him. just high flow mask and suction.
amazed! i was thinking, i need to learn this!

that night, after rounds with my MO, our patient in ward collapsed. this time, the patient ended up with intubation. throughout that 2 hrs trying to get her oxygen level in blood up to 100%, i was thinking, if i was in charged, this patient may not survive...; (
this time around though, i didn't just stood there and watch, i helped take the arterial blood gasses. but i was just following orders, honestly...my mind was blank. my MO asked the readings, i answered the figures, which i cannot decipher its meaning : (

i need to learn this!

the patient end up with something like this picture:

currently i feel safe, thank God my MO was there! thank God my senior was there! but it won't be for long...

i need to stop the blurring, and start knowing!
not that my medical school didn't teach me on how to manage collapsed patients, just in reality i've never faced them before. and when i am for the first time in the middle of it, my mind didn't work -_-

assignment for today - study on how to address collapsed patients = aneasth notes...

sekian, blabbering to my ownself

praying that i won't be a lost sailor, instead i will always reach my destination however rough the sea is ^_^
do pray for me...pleaseeeeeeeeeee

housemans has lots of BF/GF

an example of my early days as a houseman:

i was informed a stage 4 colon cancer patient coming in,
i was to take blood, send it to the lab, transfuse her with 2 pint pack cell and inform back my consultant the blood results.
owh, the diagnosis is established! easy!

i did 'just' exactly what he asked me to do.

during rounds:
my specialist: what patient is this?
me: owh, this is (my consultant's name) patient - stage 4 colon cancer.
---
my specialist: hmmm...so..?
me:--mm...??..we are transfusing blood right now, this is the first pint
my specialist: obviously (as there was 1 pint being transfused)...well,??
me:...mmm..???
my specialist: iyelah, stage 4 colon cancer, how did we get to that diagnosis? ape history die? ap CT report dy, HPE result dy, clinical exam ko jumpe ap?...haisyhhhhhh....
me: err...
my specialist: isyh, korg skarang gune computer, click2 jer sume result kluar, sume hx dy before this kluar, kalo ko x sempat nk clerk patient pon at least bace la clinical notes dy before this, ad je dlm comp tu...bukan macam aku time houseman dulu, nk kene trace balik kertas2 dlm store tu...kadang2 sampai 3 hari baru tau cerite...ni kan zaman IT...adoi!

me: err...err...

my specialist: ok, fine...nnt trace CT report dy, so kite plan nk buat ap ni?

me: err...??

my specialist: ni untuk scope esoklah...! haih....make sure ko prep dy betul2 harini, taknak tibe2 cancel plak scope esok! isyh, ko x leh offtag lg nieh!

me: ok.... (in my mind - to prep meaning???)
*****************************

blurr right?...too blurr
well, those days i felt so down...why didn't i know all of these, (the management, the diagnosis, that i needed to properly clerk the patient)..why did i assume that if they(my bosses) already know they wouldn't ask me...why couldn't i perform my work properly???

why? why? why?

i was down mostly because i felt like i've let myself down, after 6 and half years studying, performing quite well during my student years, but once i jump into the field itself, i couldn't perform! there's just so many things i didn't know!

the part being scolded or being talk to as a lower class houseman is another thing, if i was too tired it would bug me, if it was early in the morning, fresh and energetic, i'd just smile =)
smile all the way...

********************************************

now things are much better, am still a bit slow...but at least i know my job

to me...
treating a patient is much like having a boyfriend, you need to know EVERYTHING  that is important medically about him/her, to always check up on him/her, how was the vitals, has the lab results came back yet? what was the x-ray just now like? until the patient is stable and better, allowed to be discharged home, and you keep reminding them to watch out their food, make sure they don't forget the medicine and be on time on their clinic follow up, or come anytime if something goes wrong before the follow up.

that's my metaphorical depiction of my job, hehe  :p
(now i understood why some people are said to be married to their job)

i cannot choose to be ignorant, cause it might cause someone's life

ironically in life too, if we are ignorant, Jannah will be too far-fetched.

rabbuna yusahhilna jami'an

all the best for my juniors in final year
and goodluck to all my fellow colleagues (housemans)
and thanx to all my consultants, specialist and MO's for not giving up on me ^_^

yet still a student

finally! am writing again!!! ^_^

after a long long pause, sorry about that!

frankly, emotionally i wasn't strong enough to be giving others advice, or spreading happiness

but that was then,

housemanship really took it's toll on me!

changing from theoretical to practical, adjusting myself to the computerized system and inter-human and inter-racial relationship and the no more leisure sleep...on the 14th day of life (of HO as they describe it) i was depressed!! but luckily my bos is so motherly, she gave me that day off (Thanx Miss Lenny!!)

and also thanx to the attachment medical students who's been through all the tough times with me in ward ^_^

now, after about 2 months
am more adjusted to this new life,
i love going to work!

everyday is bound to store some surprises

every person i meet is gonna teach me something new

and an off day is just so priceless...hehe

some medical student told me that they were adviced by HO that it isn't too late to turn back and quit medicine

but if it's your dream! don't give up! 

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

فَإِنَّ مَعَ العُسْرِ يُسْرًا

إِنَّ مَعَ العُسْرِ يُسْرًا

surah asy-Syarh, verse 5 and 6

5- So verily, with the hardship there is relief

6- Verily, with the hardship there is relief.

like how newborns struggle to learn how to breathe in the early minutes of life,

people now can say: "as easy as 'breathing'!"

i hope being a doctor will be as easy as breathing to me one day
currently, i still feel like a student

"buah cempedak di luar pagar,
ambil galah tolong jolokkan......" -sila sambung

to my fellow juniors, i would advice you to prepare for your housemanship,
not just academically,
emotionally and mind you, PHYSICALLY!!!