understanding

today was very ironic...

i sat at the far most seat in the back line to the right of the crowded overspilled tutorial 'room'
excited!!! cause i know surgery will discuss anatomy...but,
never imagine i would be reminded strongly of 'ayah'

every time i complained it's difficult to memorize, ayah will say..."you have to understand first!...once u've understood, u'll never forget"


frankly speaking, i could never see this applicable before.
i used to reply..."yana dah faham...but i forgot the explanation...so i forget..."


and ayah will say..."that means you still haven't understood it yet!"


urghhh...(it feels frustrating...like some one doesn't get what i mean...hehe)

but today i see what "understanding" means...(thanx to prof moataz for his 'smile'...hehe)

simple questions like, "what is vein?"..."what is negative intrathoracic pressure?"...hehe
can never be "understood" by just reading the anatomy book once...
it needs effort by the neuronal connections of your brain to function tremendously...or so that is what i feel like...

damn...i really thought i 'know' anatomy *not by heart of course*...

which i understand why now...

and right now, i need to reread...hmmphh...hehe 

thank God for opening my eyes...
owh i miss my daddy...

wind

today is friday!

the wind~

after understanding this...any breeze caressing my face is extremely significant now!

"shakautu ila Waki` su’a hifdhi

wa arshada-ni an tark al-ma`asi

wa akhbara-ni bi anna ilman nur

wa nur Allah la yu`ta al-`as"

"The great Imam ash-Shafi’, he went to his teacher Waki`

Complaining about the weakness of his memory.

He told him, ‘abandon rebellion, for knowledge is a light

And the light of Allah is not bestowed upon a rebel.’"

*Talib alHabib - knowledge is the light

i'd like to invite all muslims to intentionally understand Quran...not just the translation superficially...but also it's meaning deeply...
a "mukjizat" that we can feel it for ourselves...

knowledge is the light...

not something easily obtained...so, be willing to work for it!
*thnx mama sbb slalu bebel suh yana rajin...hehe (skang menyesal jd malas)...n thnx bg pegi jalan!!!:D

jom bace kahfi on this bright sunny friday...:D

new year...new round~

hmm...
a bit late to wish new year...but am still in the first month....(exam hiatus on writing...but not FBing...huhu)

first of all, a birthday wish for my youngest brother...turning 12...finally~
(time seems to past so slow for you)

Ahmad dokong Naufal...


i guess his wish for a splendid birthday present is another brother...siann tinggal sorg2 kat rumah...i'll come home if i can...honestly boy!...do cherish you primary school, coz secondary'll be way too different and not so cosy anymore...
*tp mama and ayah's gift seems really great! pleasant trip and don't forget an ole-ole for me k!

about the "another year.."
while reading "How to Examine a Child" in Lissauer, a description of child's thought process in that book triggered a memory of  some 16 years ago (GOD!...I am OLD!!!...hehe)

i was in kindergarten,
that day, the ustazah was telling us all a story about Judgement Day...how everybody will be judge for the good and bad deeds and will finally end up either in Paradise or Hell...well, honestly speaking...i don't really remember what she told us...but i remembered what happened next very clearly...

usually after class and playtime, i will follow an ustazah to her house (sorry i dun remember her name, but i do remember where her house was) and my dad will pick me up at her house in the evening.

that day, while waiting for the ustazah in front of her office, i noticed on her door wrote
"TAHUN 1995"

TAHUN means year...i knew that...i am 6 years old...i was born in year 1989...hurm...
year 1995...ok, we've learned numbers few days ago...after this would be 1996...then 1997...1998, 1999...and then...HUH!

WHAT IS AFTER 1999???

i panicked...there is no more 'year' after 1999...what will happen next?...i quickly told this devastating finding to the one immediately next to me (a friend) and she said..."ha aa la...ape lepas 1999???"
even she doesn't know what is after 1999...
"dah qiamat???" i questioned...ooo god...just another 5 years to live...

so scared..i kept this so quiet till i forgot all about the "huge" devastating info....

hehe...little that i knew before that there's the number 2000 after 1999...
and when i knew it how relieved i was...and now am in 2011...welcome new year~

time flew by faster than an ultrasonic jet...so far it went away and to a place very unreachable...

next round...SURGERY... will i have the guts???

lesson from a cockraoch

a very fancy way to end one of the most meaningful and pack year...

i woke up this morning, realizing a lesson...
given to me by a cockroach...

i have been working for 3 years to get rid of em...but they just won't go away...
and then i realize...no matter how hard we work for something, if He does not permit it...it wont work~
so at the start of term this year, i prayed...and promise to make sure things are clean so the cockroaches'll go away...
alhamdulillah they did...He kept His promise...

but this morning that tiny irritating guy came peeking into my kitchen again...what???
and i noticed...i haven't been keeping my promise...

bless the cockroaches~

:D
now i can appreciate its existance...LOL

have a nice happy new year everyone...
build up dreams and make em true!

*when you hope some people to do something, you must teach yourself to do it first
*depend on Allah in every huge and simple matters...
*beauty = arabic language

Alhamdulillah the ups and downs this year are nice to be treasured....i love 2010, and i hope 2011 will be much better and also treasure valuable lessons...:D

jom berazam!
do pray for our end of round peads exam...

zai titriddisi tib???

language barrier is a challenging  obstacle for us now...

a situation:

i was trying to take an antenatal history from a mother...
her 7 month old child has ventricular septal defect in his heart...so i asked

"lamma hamilti bi abdul rahman, kan yujad ayyi mushkelah?"
"when you were pregnant with abdul rahman, was there any problems?"
"aah...kan amilti....bla...bla bla..." i didnt get her...hehe

she explained...but i couldn't understand. so again and again until every mother in that ward tried to explain to me what happened during her pregnancy...
and they even explained stage by stage how a baby develop and how baby needs nutrition from the mother...(this is what i could understand)...but i still couldn't understand what was the problem...

and finally...a woman asked me -
"enti mush fahim eih elmushkelah?"
"you still couldn't understand what was the problem?"
"ma3alish...la'a"
"am sorry...nope"
"zai bititriddisi tib???...da hagah 3adi, kullu 'nas yufahim!"
"how could you be studying medicine???...this is a normal thing, everybody understands!"

erk...hehe
so i had to explain to them that i didn't understand ammiah thoroughly...and that is why am practicing talking with them

"rabbuna yusahhilik!"  "rabbuna yuwaffakku!"...they said~

# the word i didn't understand is "hablu sul" or that was what i heard..."zai khartuum" they said as they explained what is hablu sul...hmm~...

#very lucky to see an achondroplasia case...my jaw dropped the moment i heard a supposed-to-be-6-month-old-baby talking..."3anduha khomsah sanah!"...huh?...and then i realized that her limbs were different~

-do study short stature, chest, heart and abdomen

Qolyubiyah

i had the most wonderful opportunity to join a trip last 3rd Dec.

it was a three hour boat ride from ramses hotel

we reached a place called Qolyubiyah...

where we sat in the "Hadiqah" for tazkirah, games and eat...

then after zohor we ride "something" (i rode the horse-carriage) around the village....to the "shalalah"...LOL

and in the end...went home by boat accompanied by the beautiful sunset!

well,
my real intention was to tell about how i got invited into this trip...hehe

this trip was organized by the Arabic teaching center i join... n ust Mahmoud have told me about this trip since a month ago...but i just didn't think going for a trip is my idea of relaxing...

and finally, 3 days to the trip...ust Mahmoud gave me a "final tazkirah"...5 reason why i should join in...hehe...
i was laughing all the time...so i didn't catch all the five reasons...and mainly because ust was explaining to me in 'Arabic' -God!, when'll i get this language to settle in my tongue???-

but, one of his excuses caught my attention...

because you need to give yourself a rest!...working, studying, socializing everyday...all of this makes your heart/soul (qolb) tired, so once in a while...you have to get out of this routine...and there is the 3 most wonderful things that can give peace to your heart/soul...

1. the greenery

2. the blue water (well, it is very difficult to get the Nile river to be blue....)

3. the one that caught my ear...LOL...al weshu jamil (and ust sweeps his forefinger n thumb across his face)...au, soutul jamil...au...aiyee hagah jameel...

and our trip will provide you all this!

hehe...
and because of this reason...i decided to join...:)...fortunately!

peads are passing by me very fast...huhu...has anyone made the clock run faster?...it seems like it's running triple the usual rate i am used to...

arghhh!!!...am trying to be patient!!!

i really like to share this invaluable understanding that clicked in my head yesterday...

it's not that i never knew it before, but i guess the circumstances made me understand this more...:)

i was discussing with ustazah Jihad about an Arabic conversation. a guy was explaining to his friend why does his aunt lives with him. 

"my aunt had just gone through an unfortunate event, her husband and son died in an accident. that is why she's living with my family now, though this incidence could have affected her badly, she's a strong women, she didn't weep al the time and her face is always calm."

"ya liyana, as sobr feehi ithnain nau'an...fi sobr ma'a redho wa fi sobr ma'a sakhot" 

"liyana, there are two types of patience, there is patience with acceptance and there is patience with discontent"

said ustazah Jihad once we went through the guy's explanation. and she added:

when you face a problem that upsets you, yes you could say..."am being patient"...but your face would not fake others if you are really upset. it will be expressed by your bad mood...everybody around you can tell by just looking at your face that something is wrong...but, a person who accepts what has destined for him when an unfortunate event befalls him, he would say "la haula wala quwwata illa billah" and smile.

and this is not easy ya liyana. not everybody can do it...that is why, we pray to Allah:

أَللَّهُم أَرْضَ عَنِّي رَضَاءً ﻻ سَخَطَ بَعْدَهُ أبَدًا

and yesterday i realize that i haven't been thoroughly patient before...

take what is good, correct me if am wrong

a wonderful day to start a new year...:D

food

starting winter...my head is always occupied with what i would eat nex...LOL

each morning, i would already plan for tomorrow's breakfast...and here seeps all the memories of malaysian food...

laksam or roti canai for breakfast...owh, and we have a 'kedai mamak' that sells 100 types of roti canai in sek 13, my mum bought roti klcc once...LOL...or nasi lemak sambal sotong in PKNS...my favourite one...once in a while, hanging out with umi, yen, ona or ami for just a coffee and reading newspaper at weekends...ayah always have either oat or tuna with sandwich most of his breakfast (blood sugar control by mama...hehe)...or just bread and 'kaya'...owh we don't have 'kaya' here...

for heavy meals...we can simply buy at sek 8's...i love the fried talapia with sambal there or to ayam desa masuk kota's chicken rice at sek 11...mmm...it was there since i never know when, it's kind of remarkable to find it still at the same spot last summer...hehe...mee goreng, mee kari, laksa, keuh teow...hot plate...nyum3...sometimes i would be satisfied with just fried rice...or if we are so confused, just go to pasar malam for satay or kebab or murtaba' or anything

appetizers...hummm...i love all kuehs...just name it but my most favourite is toknde's karipap...hehe...or rojak...or...cekodok, jemput2, mmm....i love eating and it's stressing not being able to make one...

fruits,...manggis!!!....or rambutan or duku or cempedak or nangka or...betik which is the one of the fruits i havn't found it here yet...fruits are important to give you fiber...:D

after we've done the routine of appetizer, main dish and desert...of course we need a drink...mmm
fresh orange, sour sop, watermelon, mango juice, sugar cane...aaa...and chrysantymum tea...did anyone realize we don't have this here?...or simply sky juice...teh tarik mamak is the most wanted when you can't get it...but when i am living there...i never thought of trying this all out...hehe

now i see how valuable malaysian foods are

urm...i think that is only 25 % of what i experience myself...
eating is subconcious
but not here...

still, i should be grateful!

*what does food have to do with the new year?...well, food is the item that's been lingering around me since...but, for this new year, i would like to urge myself n anybody, to set new goals so that we can at least say we achieved something by the end of this year...

May Allah be with us all~
salam maal hijrah everybody!...hmm...what should i have for breakfast on thusrday???hehe

why chicken can't fly and turtle's shell aren't smooth

i was walking home from school through my usual path...
though am living in Egypt's capital...Cairo, "in a sense", i still feel like am back in my grandma's village...hehe
because i get to see donkeys, horses and even chickens being taken care of lovingly by the citizen...(one of the uniqueness in Cairo)...

well, last two days as a flock of hen ran pass me...i remembered a cartoon story where a man screamed over his escaping livestocks..."catch that bird!!!"..and suddenly a memory of about 10 years ago flickered through my mind...

i was in primary, and my bro and i used to spend our holidays at grandma's...she usually needed to tuck us in to make sure we sleep at night...hehe...everything and every time was game to me before...and to make us stay still in bed, she'd tell us bed time stories...

one of them was..."adeeq, liyana...do you wanna hear about chicken and turtle?"... (my grandma speaks malay though)
yes!!!...and we quickly get under the blanket nex to her...and my grandma begins~

long...long...time ago, chicken can fly...that is why they look like birds...it is told that birds need a special gold on their wings so they can fly...at that time, chicken used to look like any other birds...flying pleasantly...whenever they come down for food, they will keep their gold safely...

turtle on the other hand, cannot fly...and he was so amazed by flying creatures...he so wanted to fly himself...so, one day...turtle braved himself and went to ask chicken the secret of their flying ability...chicken told turtle the truth...

"to fly, u need to have the gold with you!"
"where can i get this gold?"
"i can't tell you, it is only for birds!"
"owh...you look really good when you fly...it must've been amazing!...can you take me with you?"
"no! that's ridiculous...you are too heavy!"
"can i borrow your gold then?...i really wanna know what it feels like to fly..."
"hmm...but how will you wear the gold? you don't have wings..."
"i'll put it in my mouth!"
"u uh -shaking his head- it will fall down if you open your mouth"
"oh please please please please please chicken...i promise i'll keep it safe! by the way, you are always known for your beauty and generosity!"
"urm...ok then...just for one time since you seem so excited, but however amazed you are, never open your mouth!"
"i promise!"

so chicken lent turtle his gold and put it in turtle's mouth...immediately, turtle was able to fly...he went up...up...up...and up to the open sky higher than the top of the tallest tree...the view was so splendid...
"how is it up there?" asked chicken...
excited and eager to express himself, turtle quickly replied..."fantastic!!!"

but woopss...turtle opened his mouth as he speaks, and the gold was thrown out from his mouth onto the grounds...without the gold...turtle lost the support on air...thus he began to fall...down...down..down...and crush!!!...he cracked his shell into tiny diamond-shaped crease...

chicken - my gold!!!

turtle - sorry...huhu

chicken, realizing that his gold had be thrown down onto the ground quickly went looking for it...pecking every few feet of his ground...but he never found it...so they never flew since the day turtle lost their gold...till today, the chickens are still pecking the ground searching for it....

so that was one of the countless bedtime story my grandma told us...

i did not remember the story precisely, but that's how it goes if am not mistaken...:D
a memorable fairy tale...hehe...

inna ma3al 3usri, yusra...

bismillah...

are you aware of your breathing? (provided that you have normal healthy lungs)
well, i would like to bring us all back to the minute we were born...obviously, nobody recalls that moment...but...did you know, that it was a difficult one?

in our mother's belly, we do not need our lungs to breath,
we simply take e-ve-ry-thing from our mother...namely, nutrients and oxygen...
so, definitely...the lungs we had before was different from what we have now...

our alveoli were collapsed, lined by thick cells...and the vessels were congested with blood as there were no particular blood flow within it...all the exchange of nutrients and disposal of waste products were managed by the placenta...

but once we are independent, this circulation needs to be changed...
oxygen have to come from our lungs,
nutrients from our intestines,
disposal of waste products through the kidneys...
every organs now holds a responsibility to make sure we can live...
we cannot depend on the placenta anymore...
and the most vital system to ensure we are alive at that moment is...
our respiratory system!

in that important moment, a baby have to learn how to breathe...he must expand all his collapsed and thick wall alveoli...push out all the congested blood in his lungs to make space for air...it is not an easy task...it needs effort!

but hey, after 21 years alive...(me)...no one even realize that they were breathing...
breathing becomes so easy that there is a quote saying
"as easy as breathing~"

our lung structure changes...the blood pressure in the lungs becomes low, the alveoli walls are thin and there are huge spaces for air to fill in...

sorry for the long introduction,
so...what does all this have to do with the title?

well, the title is actually a verse in the quran in surah ash Sharh, verse 5...which again is repeated in the next verse (verse 6)...
(bismillahirrahmanirrahim)
 "fainna ma3al 3usri, yusra"
(verily, along with every hardship is relief)

i would love to convey to everyone reading this (especially myself) that...
don't be afraid to face hardship!

why?

#1
Allah has promised in that verse that along with every hardship there is relief...
if you read carefully here...the 'hardship' is a specific noun as it begins with an 'alif lam'...which means only one hardship... where else, the 'relief' is general noun thus it is countless...

#2
you've faced it!
at least once...(when you were born)...the difficulties of starting to breathe (as i have explained above)
you were brave in that moment...nobody knows how difficult it was for you,but now...do you realize how easy it is?

#3
if you prepare yourself for a difficult path and worked for it...you know that no matter what is the outcome, you'd never be disappointed... as the sweetness of a victory lies in the effort
*you cannot claim a victory (to yourself) if you knew you didn't worked for it
-we can't lie to ourselves, even if we do...we know it...this is what i believe...but,we can ignore-

so, be optimist...and don't be afraid!

that's all
take what is good, ignore what is bad...and do correct me if there are wrongs...:D
happy eid!

~love the food!

10 nights

salam eid al-adha...

tomorrow will be arafah day...
and the best 10 nights are about to end...

just like to remind myself and everyone else, about how much good deeds we have done so far...there is still time to compensate if we lacked...

eid al adha in egypt is surely fun this year thanks specifically to
*khadijah and her mother's delicious dish!
*ustazah maha for willing to teach us how to make egyptian cuisine (derang tgh menuntut sekarang) and break our fast together
*gen6 babies...(they weren't around last yr...) -hani, ulfah and iman!
*my housemates...:D...love you gurls!
and most of all...
*all my friends!

*tadi terbaca berita jemaah haji malaysia yg meninggal dunia...ramainye...kite happy2 kat sini, tp ade org yg tgh sedih*

what made me rethink

somewhere around January, 2010
i was in a meeting room

it was made compulsory to have a 'tazkirah' in a meeting...
i didn't bother much...i composed myself to focus...

remarkably, (not that it wasn't expected...but it caught my attention) the director himself gave the 'tazkirah' for that meeting...
he said he'd like to start with reading some verses in the Quran...

the first eleven verses of surah al Mu'minuun...he recited it and translated it and explained it to us...

in the eighth verse,

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

"Those who are faithfully true to their Amanat (all the duties which Allah has ordained, honesty, moral responsibility and trust etc.) and to their covenants (promises)."

he explained to us, that because of this verse...we were holding that meeting...we were given the responsibility (an Amanat) by the society to run an event...and as we have took this responsibility, we were to do it as best we could...

y?
because we are muslims.
*the explanation were longer...but long story cut short~

this struck me...
though i've heard of this before, but the meaning of "Amanat" or "covenant" never sunk in me deeply before...as it had on that meeting...

it made me recall all the responsibility i held:
a slave of Allah
a daughter of my parents
a sister to my brothers
a niece to my aunts and uncles
a granddaughter to my grandmother
a student in the path of Jihad
a friend
a house mate
a leader (at that time)...and many moresss
*not as much compared to those married and with kids...hee


have i fulfilled all my Amanat?...
i wasn't sure at that time...
i usually tend to ignore things that are sophisticated...and focus on the priorities...
here...i found out how much i've belittled what i should have forgone...

and in that split second...it made me vow: to try as much as i can to fulfill all my duties!
that moment made me rethink and reorganize my aims and intentions...

small, passable events, when we ponder through them...they usually store useful lessons...:D
so, that's what i wanna share today~
a reminder for me (da buat "vow" tuh!) and for those who read this...(sorry it's kind of boring)

writing

have you ever felt like sharing...jz dat u dunno how to share it...i dunno if anyone understand what i feel...luck of course!...and really glad~~~

it's like this~

i jz finished the clinical exam of internal meds
it was fun (more than i expected)...i was dead terrified before that...so silly to feel so...
it's because~...
have u ever felt like u were destined with someone before u even know him thoroughly?...i mean on the first glance? (approximating eyebrows)

that's what i felt about the patient i had to examine today...
i've met him before on several occasions...i met a lot of other patients actually...
but it was different with him

in one of our clinical classes~
the dr asked us to examine him, i stood at bay...feeling like i've done this before, i'd jz wanna observe this time...my friends did the case and presented it...and they mentioned he had a palpable pulmonary pulse..."owh!...i've never felt dat before~" i said to myself...but i jz didn't get the chance to feel his pulse in that morning session as we need to rush to our lectures...so i kept in mind to see him after lecture. it felt like, this is "a-must-feel-pulse" kind of feeling~

sekadar gambar hiasan

so after lecture, i went to his ward but... he was with his family...:(... it'd be impolite to feel his pulmonary pulse at that time...thus, i saved it for the next day

nex day, i did remembered to go and see him (the curiosity didn't fade)...i grabbed a friend to accompany me and begged him to let me feel his pulmonary pulse (he really didn't gave me in easily)...and finally i managed to feel that wide volume pulse :D... and examine the rest of his heart ("literally")

and remarkably he end up as my clinical examination patient.
(helped me a lot though that little guy! - he corrected my apical comments before dr Ali came to question me)...glad~~~
*this is what we call professional patients

it's jz ironic...we've had a patient with crepitations once...which obviously i've never heard before and i was so damn curious how crepitations sounds like...i failed to put my stethoscope on him but the curiosity ended bluntly (with no attempts to find that patient and ask permission to listen to his crepitating lungs)...

comparing a crepitation to pulmonary pulsation...erm...
pulmonary pulsation felt like any other pulsation in the body that can be felt except that it's not normal to have it, but crepitations??? that's one rare thing (for me as a first yr in internal meds)...and mind, am still curious how exactly it sound like!...it's weird how i put that much effort to only feel a pulse~

but it was destined i guess...a very great luck!

revising myself

this talk is so beautiful...
i felt so into it, i jz can't but share it...
*thnx panna for sharing this!

anatomy~

i love anatomy...
a subject i can read n study n memorize with passion...(but dis really doesn't mean i knew it off by heart)

so, today i wanna share a piece of story, a history of how anatomy began...about the man who started our way of learning anatomy...Andreas Vesalius (click for his web)

_____________________________________
modern medicine began around the sixteenth century in the innovative minds of such people such as the anatomist Andreas Vesalius and the physiologist William Harvey. Andreas Vesalius (1514 - 1564) taught anatomy in Italy. in his time, cadaver dissection had resumed for the purpose of autopsies and gradually found its way into the training of medical student around Europe.

dissection was an unpleasant business, however, and most professors considered it beneath their dignity. in these days before refrigeration and embalming, the odor from the decaying cadaver was unbearable. dissection were conducted outdoors in a nonstop 4day race against decay. bleary medical student had to fight the urge to vomit, lest they incur the wrath of an overbearing professor. professors typically sat in an elevated chair, the cathedra, reading dryly from Galen or Aristotle while a lower-ranking barber-surgeon removed putrefying organs from the cadaver and held them up for the student to see. barbering and surgery were considered to be "kindred arts of the knife"; today's barber poles date from this era, their red and white stripes symbolizing blood and bandages.

Vesalius broke with tradition by coming down from the cathedra and doing the dissection himself. he was quick to point out that much anatomy in Galen's books was wrong, and he was the first to publish accurate illustrations for teaching anatomy.

when others began to plagiarize his illustrations, Vesalius published the first atlas of anatomy, De Humani Corporis Fabrica (On the Structure of the Human Body), in 1543. this book began a rich tradition of medical illustration that has been handed down to us through such milestones as Gray's Anatomy (1856) and the vividly illustrated atlases and textbooks of today.

copied from 
Saladin Anatomy & Physiology
The Unity of Form and Function (Third Edition)

a wonderful history isn't it?
how ancient people used to study anatomy... without any refrigeration and stuff...my first yr experience of the anatomy lab wasn't pleasant, but at least it wasn't a 4day race against decay...hehe
now i miss waiting in that lab for hours beside cadavers...
well, dat's for today...

from history we learn~

talking in arabic

while waiting for 10 o'clock (hoping the 'suq' will open)
plus, something reminded me of this incident - english lectures crisis...hehe

it was our 4th day or in the second week of attachment in HKL..i dun recall it precisely~
we visited the psychiatry department and requested to visit the wards...
the head department allowed us to enter...

so we went to the 'gurls' ward...it was lunch time, patients were lining up for their food...we approached them, suddenly a patient came to us

"owh, you guys nk interview i ea?...kejap ea...i nk makan dulu...hurm, u pakai braces, i pon pakai braces...u boleyla interview i!"...she pointed to me...

erk...haha...this really caught me...very friendly patient.

we continued inside and the matron showed us around
"skarang time makan, so patient tak de dlm ward...kat situ file patient kalau nk bace...." she continued explaining us around

at the same time, there was a women in patient's outfit standing beside her...looking at us drowsily (i guess, ptosis eyelid)

"...by the way, korang ni dari mane?" the matron asked
"Cairo University" we answered together...
suddenly..

"enti minal kaherah?" the women asked
"aa!" i replied astounded..."enti bitakallim arabi?" i asked her back
"na'am...ana darastu allughatul al arabiah fil jamiah" she replied...

phew~

"a aa...dy nie pandai cakap arab..." said the matron..."aa, boleyla korg borak ngan dy!"

"lau antunna uridina an atakallam ma'aya, saufa najlis awwalan!"... said the patient

seriously we were really taken aback by her...

"mashi!" i said...

and we continued chatting, talking about each other...but more to how she end up in the psychiatry ward...fully in arabic fushah!...(never imagine i'd meet someone like this)...frankly speaking, she talks more fluent than i do...and she corrects her verb every now and then...

*some people really strive to learn arabic...realizing how precious is that language...

#this incident happened to me and shae~one more sweet memory there

mysterious...let's explore!

i am sleepy so early nowadays...
but dis help freshen me up a lil bit

curiosity...hehe



dis is the ocean...can human body still hide more secrets than we expect?

*clinical classes prove to be exciting and satisfying...'if i get the chance to do everything...'

be curious!

pantun syawal

i want to share a 'pantun' sms to me from a very special person...thnx for texting it!

sungguhku diuji empat perkara,

iblis, dunia, nafsu dan syahwat.

selalu menjeratku dalam binasa,

sedarlah aku sebelum terlewat.

though at first, it seems like "how is it related to eid?"
but when you read between the lines...it is a reminder, that even though syawal has come...and all those forbidden things in ramadhan has been lifted...you should be aware that starting first syawal...all those "four" stuffs are eager to pull you down-

a portion from our beloved prophet in his last sermon (khutbah al wida')
"beware of satan for the safety of your religion. he has lost all hope of that he will be able to lead you astray in big things, so beware of following him in small things."

*mid syawal...and the moon is getting more prettier every night

*The pantun is a Malay poetic form,In its most basic form the pantun consists of a quatrain which employs an abab rhyme scheme. A pantun is traditionally recited according to a fixed rhythm and as a rule of thumb, in order not to deviate from the rhythm, every line should contain between eight and 12 syllables. "The pantun is a four-lined verse consisting of alternating, roughly rhyming lines. The first and second lines sometimes appear completely disconnected in meaning from the third and fourth, but there is almost invariably a link of some sort. Whether it be a mere association of ideas, or of feeling, expressed through assonance or through the faintest nuance of a thought, it is nearly always traceable"

it's the fifth time

my fifth year here...(egypt)
i thought i could muster myself to feel normal here...(well...it should be! am entering my fifth yr~)
though at first it seems yes (masa dlm flight)
but the minute i took a trolley for my luggage, the feelings dawn on me all over again...~why am i willing myself to be here~...

hopefully it won't last too long...

i usually say it's fun in egypt!...but it takes a while to adjust...

and it will be fun all over again...like those four year that has past...

it's gonna be fun!...it has to!

let's forgive...pleaseeee

didapur ketika berbuka -
"macamane nabi tu sabar je ea kaklong?...", my youngest brother, ahmad questioned that...

"nabi tu, org buat jahat kat dy pon dy doakan kebaikan org tu", azfar added
"erk..."...me

there was this one day, i was so furious...urghh!!!
why do people have to be like dat???
i felt like avenging, so that the person knows what it feels like!
fortunately, my mind worked faster that time, after 21 years alive and with all my experiences (especially last year's)...it got me thinkin...

what made me so mad?
usually when things didn't go my way

is it appropriate for me to avenge the person back?
hurmmm....
i usually complain about it in my prayers...hoping God will give me patience to face that person,
and when it comes to the part asking God to avenge the person for me...i was reminded of our beloved Prophet (pbuh) how He would forgive anyone however hard they've done to Him...

do i have the right to get so mad?
was dat person so mean to me?...'so mean'...urm...not really,
compared to what our Prophet faced...this is minor!

and imagine if each time things didn't go the way Allah wants it to be and He gets mad over it...would i still be alive today?...Allah has let me lived for 21 years already, let me live this long so that i have the chance to redeem myself before 'that' day...

here i thought, i don't have the right to judge, however mad that person made me, i wasn't in his shoes...i could never understand why he did it...and i don't have the right to be mad at him, instead...i should correct him...not avenge him...

my inner mind speaking...hee...what i really mean to convey here is-

maafkanlah jika ada terlanjur perkataan

(or perbuatan or anything)

diharap supaya jangan disimpan

kuberdoa selamat panjang umur murah rezki

semoga tuhan akan memberkati

let's forgive and if possible, forget!...pleaseeee

and so...only a few days left before Ramadhan finishes...we must strive as much as we can to gain these few days...it's never too late as long as we are not yet in the end...

i really hope to get to meet next Ramadhan...

and of course, have a pleasant eid
so here i like to wish everyone
selamat hari raya!
kullu sanah wa antum toyyibeen!
maaf zahir batin!