her gentle clutch

remember in my last post i said it was a blissfully happy wednesday?

apart from making me interested to look up for bruce springsteen...dr hossam also said a couple of words about shoulder dystocia...when he asked us for the management, i was completely clueless...(hmm...x bace lagi la nie...i tot to myself)

that evening, i decided to drop by the delivery room...after observing two c-sect, i decided to call it a day...but as i just took a step out, a woman was wheeled into a normal vaginal delivery room...hurm...just one normal delivery wouldn't hurt...i havn't seen one yet today...so i stood by her...

it was only me, the dr conducting the delivery and a nurse with the patient...the dr smiled and gave me a thumbs up...hehe
we waited...i asked if i could feel the uterine contractions..."try and put your hand on her fundus!" he instructed me...and we waited...

the baby's head seems so reluctant to come out...the peadiatrician came by us, asking how's the patient's progression...
"ma ti'la'eesyh!...di halet IUFD" the obstetrician replied... (dun worry! this is an intrauterine fetal death case)

huh?...okay, that surprised me...i didn't expect that...this will certainly end sadly in whatever way...
but even sadder...the labor seemed to be obstructed...huhu, the dr conducting the delivery called for help...and dr hossam came in...i was pushed aside as many more drs, nurses and anesthetist came in...
"i think it's a shoulder dystocia!"...i heard one of the dr said...

shoulder dystocia (click)

and frankly, so sorry on behalf of the patient, but i felt so lucky to get the chance witnessing dr hossam did every step he explained in management of shoulder dystocia that morning (of course except symphisiotomy)...since the baby  had already passed away, they were concentrating more in shortening the duration of delivery for the sake of the mother...

when the baby was out, dr hossam rushed to a theater for another c-sect...and was followed by the crowd who came in to see before, one of the dr who was holding the patient's hand called me, "hold her hand please, i need to go"...so i was left standing beside the patient and the first obstetrician who's suturing her episiotomy...

when the suturing was done, i tried to remove my hand...but the patient strengthen her clutch...her attempt was so weak, i could've easily slip my hand away...but i couldn't bring my heart to do so...she looked so dehydrated and pale...to kill the tension and quietness, i tried making small talks to her...

how old are you?
20
20?...am 22... (and already she's gone through this kind of pain...i added to myself)
how was it?
it's good, u've done great! (i assumed she's asking about the episiotomy as she was half awake already towards the end of the suturing and screamed with every prickle of the needle)
did he put him in the incubator?

it struck me...i was clueless...i couldn't say a word, but i managed not to trickle my tears...
her gentle clutch held my hand till the staff came in to take her to her ward...

that day reminded me of my mom so much...despite all our busyness in studying, we should never forget to pray for the one who sacrificed her life to ensure we live in this hectic world...

miss you mama! and ayah too, u took the share when u let mama clutch your hands...hehe
*may Allah reserve a place for you...am so grateful to be blessed with splendid parents...:D

no wonder...am in the 20th century!

i love music...like candy for ears...halwa telinga...(betul ke?)...hehe
but some are just...emm, what can i say...that's why am living in the 20th century!...hehe
i wanted to jot down about how i ended up to "actually" listen to this-

brother under the bridge - bruce springsteen
*sorry, the vid can't be embedded

hehe, did u enjoy it?...wokay...wut happen was...
on that blissfully happy wednesday, dr hossam (not the head of department) described the obstetric slides to us...and in one of the slides, he asked us about the anatomy of pelvic part of the ureter...of course, i was simply miming back every single word he said...(gosh, how much i've forgotten!)...

and as the ureter reached the ischial spine and curves forward and medially to enter the posterosuperior angle of the urinary bladder, he asked aloud.."it passes above or below the uterine artery?"
"ermm...above?" (i was sitting infront so i guess he heard my almost inaudible utter...erk..)
"nope...below...water under the bridge!...ne..ne...ne...under the bridge" dr hossam hummed and continued.."under the bridge? bruce springsteen? owh, never mind~"

haha...among all those valuable teachings he taught us that day...this one stuck in my head so strong till i eventually googled up and youtubed the song (are there such verbs...haha...20th century vocabs)...which, am sorry to say...not my taste...huhu...too bad...

learning is extremely fun!...especially, when u get to see people's reaction to new informations...
when i asked fizah to listen to that song she was...ahaa...nodding her head with an almost fused eyebrows...haha...

under tension!!!

usually, i'll go through Egypt's unbelievable traffic absentmindedly...

but today, it just got on  my nerve...

and i got home and sleep myself to calmness...hmm... :)

i've talked about traffic last year once (ironically it was in april too)

feeling tense, it reminded me of a discussion i had with a group of friends and Dr Maha Mosaad just after her lecture about hypertension in pregnancy... how stress is somewhat essential for human being maturation...

a friend of mine (Noha...i've known 3 egyptians with this name already...hehe) was asking about the maturation of fetal lung in hypertensive mothers...

and Dr. Maha gave us a question...

you have three pregnant mothers, one is diabetic, one is normal and the other is hypertensive. which fetus will get lung maturation first?

*a diabetic mother will give enormous amount of blood more than usual and the baby usually ends up huge.

*a hypertensive mother will give less (the baby'll be growth restricted)

we answered; the normal mother...

"nope!...it's the hypertensive very limitedly supplied fetus that will maturate first"...everyone gave Dr Maha a quizzical look...

"bussi, (look)...if you look at the children in the streets, fighting for their survival...get very little to eat, very few attention from their parents and have to work for their family...they get matured faster right? they can survive without their parents...and seldom fell sick even though they eat contaminated foods, right? 

but if you look at those pampered by their family, getting everything they desire...they can't survive on their own...

just like this fetus of hypertensive mother, he gets very limited nutrients and oxygen...so he has to fight for his life!"

"even though he's still in her womb?" Noha asked back

"even though he's still in her womb! , but of course there are scientific explanation for this...when you are under stress, you body will secrete more corticosteroid (a hormone for stress) that helps you cope the stress. and what do we give to stimulate fetal lung maturation?"

"corticosteroid!"

"see!"

*the discussion went on to the different types of fetal growth restriction then...

it got me thinking, maybe i am in a process to maturate...hehe...but feeling tense is not a happy feeling...

and sleep really works! :D

each new understanding in medicine triggers my inner mind, i am so small compared to this huge wide universe...subhanallah!

*sorry for a lot of jargons...hehe, i've tried simplifying them as much as i could...and do correct me if am wrong!

happy birthday ayah!!!

morning!...
another story about a thing that's extremely close to my daddy's heart...

my mum...:D

ever heard of a fairytale love stories...the ending is always...

"and they lived happily ever after~"

i dunno if i am actually in one...hehe, but my mom and dad surely love each other forever...
my dad told us how he first time met my mom one day after sahur...(which i pretty much think wasn't true...haha)


"i was walking down the street one day, and at the opposite site of the road i saw this exceptionally very beautiful girl...and i quickly bend my head down and said "subhanallah!""...

waa...honestly, we couldn't stop laughing that dawn!...(am sorry ayah if it was actually true...)
LOL...i could never forget my daddy's word...haha

and i know there couldn't be a better gift than having mama around with you...
maybe that's why you get ill on your birthday...so you get to take mc n be at home with mama...hihi

get well soon...don't let the temperature rise too high k!...and,
happy birthday ayah!
love and miss you always~

"may Allah bless you and mama forever and reserve a place for both of you in Jannah for all the great and wonderful things you have done...amin!"

2nd day~...my dad..

of all the things i can never forget about my dad...the one i always keep remembering are his way of teaching us...

and the one i appreciate most but seldom practice...is thinking!

hehe...ever since i was small, ayah always give me a chance to figure out things myself...
he always let me decide which one i prefer, which color i should choose, what food i would like...
he'll guide me of course, and pull me out if i chose wrong...but even if i did, he'd rather me to think myself out of my problems than come running to him for help...

ayah is more of a risk taker compared to mama...which is why sometimes, i feel safe to ask permission from my mother...but if i wanted to do something risky...i'll go ask my dad...hehe

and in order for us to practice this decision making daily, we (my brothers and i) were to match him in the game of...

yup!...chess!
haha
honestly, i am willing to do anything for ayah rather than playing chess with him...coz i know i'll end up loosing...(even after he promised to let me win)
"that was an obvious mistake...i've given you so many chances!" (ayah would say at the end of a match where my face was so sulky...hehe)

after almost 10 times or more i guess loosing, i learnt my lesson...=(
so sorry i haven't played chess with u for almost 5 years now...huhu...
i just cannot comprehend  the attacking part...defensing is an acceptable move...but it's no good if your opponent keep attacking you...your defense will fall eventually~...and i really hate loosing...

and adeeq is lucky enough he's so good in chess...
(to me, maybe chess is a boy stuff...conquering areas, planning to attack the castle, redeeming a lost pawn...i dun even have the heart to kick a pawn out of the board...hihi...alasan...)
but the good part about chess is that we anticipate ten steps ahead for each of our moves (do we?..dat's what ayah always told us)...which took me maybe more than half an hour...i can never play with the timer...

but dun worry ayah, it's not just chess...i don't fancy any competitive matches if i could avoid it...
for you, i'll master the opening by heart before i match you...but i left that book at home...hee

and frankly speaking, you helped me a lot to make right choices...and i feel blessed and so lucky to have you as my dad!

thank you ayah!

*i know i've posted this song last year...but i couldn't find a better one to convey its meaning...
for you ayah!

being busy?

studying does consume a lot of our time...
i love to write but i seldom find time for it these couple of days...

day dreaming...am imagining myself in a working state...phew~~~

apart from almost 24/7 being in the hospital (insyaAllah)
would i find time for family gatherings...hanging out with friends...wayang?...

but it really does surprise me how my dad did it...
he usually wake us up early and force us out of bed to solat subuh together...send us to school after breakfast...go to work...then he'd pick us up in the afternoon for lunch...go home for us to change uniforms...then back to skolah agama...then in the evening pick us up...cook dinner...(or reheat...hehe)...taking care of us...in almost my whole primary school...
and...he still did find time to do 'researches' in his lab...hanging out with us...talking, giving advices...and sometimes even pick my mum up from work...(if my mum car's at the workshop i guess)...
we even went out to the movies once in a while...
i remembered that u even get a chance to enter a cooking competition with mama...hehe...
not a surprise result though since ayah had a lot of training to cook for us...but mama's cooking is always good!

not that mama is not around...but she used to work far those time...and trust me, how i enjoyed weekends meal cause mama'll cook...:D...and they are usually special!

come to think of it...that's amazing ayah!...
all i think about after a day in class is my bed...LOL...
you are a super dad...you really do deserve a retirement...
just another one in a half year insyaAllah...pray for me n adek2...

hehe...miss chit-chatting with you ayah!

love you ayah~

3 days about Ayah...starts today...

happy birthday mama!!!

For all the things I didn't say,

About how I felt along the way--

For the love you gave and all that you've done,

Here's your daughter's appreciation upfront.

You cared for me as a little tot,

When all I did was cry a lot, 

And as I grew your work did too-- 

I ran and fell and got black and blue.

I grew some more and it didn't stop; 

Now you had to become a cop,

To worry about mistakes I'd make; 

You kept me in line for my own sake.

I got older, and the story repeated; 

You were always there whenever I needed. 

You guided me and wished me the best, 

I became wiser and knew I was blessed.

So, for all the times I didn't say, 

The love I felt for you each day, 

Mom, read this so you can always see

Just how much you mean to me.

a picture taken by ayah

Happy Birthday mama!

i can't believe u are half a century already...waa..
you have gone through so much already...
now honeymoon years with ayah...
but you will always look 25 ma...hehe

hope today was unexceptionally fun to u~

*toknde said, u r her only child that she ever remembered the birthday...hehe (oopss...anak2 toknde yg laen jgn jeles...hehe)

mama and ayah in sunway

*living independently is so not that fun...huhu...missing you two~

it's TOMORROW!!!

i hope u love this year's March mama...

but keep in mind it's never just a month...it's always and forever...hehe

it got me thinking after 3 years in egypt and i never had the chance to celebrate your important day that i need to do something...so i took the liberty of establishing your month in my calender...

and living here with friends 24/7 makes me realize and see how much effort it has taken for you to take care of us...coz earnestly i already got headache by taking care of 'only' my ownself...how did you do it mama?

this year is about all the moments i realized how you made me move...let's see what nex year brings...

(ayah said you love yellow roses...hehe...am your butterfly...hihi, prasan~)

Happy Mama's Month Mama!!!

2 days to go~

one last story for this year's my mama's month...

this is about a moment i started my life independently (not thoroughly of course....hehe...still depending on my parents...adeh~)

my dad sent me to boarding school in his hometown...the peaceful and beautiful Kuala Terengganu...
i still can remember how reluctant i was to go there...so far away from my mom and dad...and i have to stay in a hostel...and i was only 13 at that time...but i made a promise...so we went...

we came on saturday...once we reached the school, my mum helped me register at the hostel, and helped me unpack...book my bed and locker...put in my clothes and toiletries...check out the bathroom for me...and even pick out which row i should put my books into...hehe

while at the same time, teaching me tips how to wash my clothes, when to do laundry, when to sweep the floor, how to make sure my lockers are clean, how to keep them always locked, where to store the key, when to make my bed and so on...

then, she put on the bed sheets, sweep the whole dorm's floor and asked me to go down for lunch at the DM (dewan makan)
"pegilah makan kat sane, mama tunggu dalam bilik"

once i got back upstairs, i told her about my meal...i got a whole fish all to my own...hehe...(at home we usually share parts of fish, we don't put a whole fish from head to tail into our plates)
"okay la makanan sedap...x de la teruk sangat duduk asrama~" she said...

by evening, my dad came...
"okay, mama balik dulu ngan ayah...esok pagi mama datang balik for school registration."
so they went~

a place i love to go out to...we use to say a place we 'fly' to...hehe

by night, i felt so awkward there...honestly, i couldn't understand what my colleagues were happily chatting about (Terengganu have a different dialect)...they're probably telling the stories of their holidays...and suddenly came a girl (her name's zetty) and thank God she can articulate understandable words...haha

she introduced me to the other girls...
and we get to know each other...
one of them asked..."mu wak kaen sahan dok?"
"huh???"...i looked at zetty perplexed...
she smiled and translated "dia tanye...awak ade bawak kain basahan tak?...kain batik, kain batik..." showing me hers
"ooo...x de...x penah pakai pon...kene ade ea?"

and so i quickly phoned my mum for a kain batik...and she came to our hostel that night with two...hehe

next morning, i went to class with my dorm-mates...while looking around unfamiliarly, my mom and dad came...
"alright, ayah da registerkan kaklong masuk kelas 2 Taubah...jom cari..."
it was just next door...

"hmm...tempat jemur baju dy yang kat blakang tu jauh sngt, kaklong jemur kat depan dorm tu je ea?...kantin dy kat mane?...dia ade kedai ntuk beli toiletries dekat2 sini tak, nanti dy nak kluar macamane?..." my mum asked my dad

"haih...biarla dy cari sendiri...nanati dy fly pegi UK takkan edah nak checkkan rumah dy, university dy, kedai mane sume..." my dad replied...

"hmm..." my mum smiled..."x de la..." but she didn't continue

hehehe
thank you for being so concerned mama!...don't worry...am safe here...=)

'Ya Allah, please take care of my mama the way she has and is and will carefully take care of us...give her everything she wants and that is good for her the way she has always give whatever we asked for and love her the way she loves us"

love you mama!
happy mama's month...2 days to go~

something i would very much like to have there...huhu, aritu balik x singgah terengganu pon...x pe, there's always next time...:D

countdown starts today~

3 days to go~

ya Allah...

be kind to my mother as how she has been kind to us and help her through in this momentary world and in the forever Hereafter...

when am ill

there was this once time, i got very happy being ill...hehe
as i said, mama and ayah was a bit busy while we were in primary...
and one unfortunate day, my brother an i fell sick...spiking temperature...i couldn't even lift my eyelid...(exaggerated giler...hehe)

and that night mama came and put her palm on our forehead and said...
"macamane boley demam nie?"
and she took care of us i suppose the whole night though she just came back from work...
(i was asleep the whole time but i could hear her voices)

but actually, there were countless of times mama took care of us when we were sick...
just last two years i got home for summer and had this very unpleasant dental surgery...mama had to cook a whole different meal for me as i was only able to swallow...

and many more...

will i be able to take good care of my mother?

once mama got a cut on her finger while she was doing her glass painting...i bet it hurt her so much...but i didn't go and ran for her immediately that time, thinking it was just a small cut and i was busy doing something very unimportant...huhu...sorry mama...i really do care, i've been thinking about that cut you had ever since...and especially when you attended me even with a minor scratch while doing the dishes...

it got me thinking...that am still not up to the task...but i should have...
and i am and will try and get ready forever~
i'll always take care of you...love you loads mama
happy mama's month~

*finally get to get involve with the egyptian's event in U...good luck all candidates...i've voted...and does anyone knows when will the result be out?

exam mode

i just finished the surgery osce...
how do i felt about it?...indifferent~

as i was talking with my friends waiting for my turn in the clinical exam
(and seriously, this is the only exam i ever get to discuss my findings with friends...LOL...a worth it 3 hr wait...in a sense~)
they shared some stories how their mother made them move...
the one that caught my interest was her mom will read surah al insyirah with her hands on their heads before they go to exams...(so sweet bhah!)

my mom?
i know she prays a lot!
or i wouldn't be here now...
everytime my exam is around the corner she'd remind me to solat hajat and baca yassin...

and eventhough i knew she'd ask me to do the same thing, i'll still ask her for advice anyway...
it's just that i miss being asked to do something for her ever since living abroad...

thnx for praying for me mama!
*alhamdulillah i never failed an exam b4 except for my driving test (i've got my driving license already btw)...and i know no matter how hard i try, i won't be able to do so if Allah doesn't permits it...and being good to our mom and dad is what makes Allah happy~

OnG starts tomorow!...already???...huhu

my first time being curious about...

how i was born...

the first time i ever think about it was when my aunt bariah was delivering my first cousin on my mother's side.
it was the first time i ever heard that human get pregnant...i think...
so, all of us went to the hospital to congratulate her... and look at the handsome fair baby with a mole on his right chin (right kn bazli?)

at her bedside, mama said to me:
"haa, kaklong tgk perut aunty bariah tu, da hilang...dulu kan besar...ap jadi?"
it got me thinking...
how did the baby got out???

and i asked every possible person who could recall the day i was born...

mama n a baby (not me ofcourse...)

ayah said, i came out very tiny...and mama crushed his hands while delivering me...ooppss...sorry mama!

atuk said mama ate a kilo of grapes while pregnant with me (no wonder i love fruits...hehe)

ona said i was talkative straight away...erk...shhh...haha

but i haven't asked mama yet...

how was i born through her eyes?

i thought of this topic as umi nita just delivered rania (CONGRATULATIONS UMI!!!) and am about to enter round Obs n Gyn...

thnk you for giving birth to me mama! and got me thinkin about it~

the best mama in the world!

first of all...happy mama's month!!!

i just wanna recall back the day where my brother(safwan) and i swore, in the middle of the night...that mama is THE BEST MAMA IN THE WORLD!!!...hehe

that night, mama came home with a gift for both of us...
a pair of school bag complete with its accessories of pencil case, wallet and a 'camel bank'...
we were extremely excited,
but mama wouldn't let us to bring em upstairs in case my other little brother (who was still in kindergarten at that time) would want it too...(as she brought home only two sets)

so, silently...both of us tiptoed down stairs in the middle of the night not to wake azfar up...and in the living room, safwan and i gleefully took out that school bag from its plastic case just to adore them...

"mama baikla...:D"
"the best mama in the world!"
"mama is the best mama in the world and we'll love her forever~~~"

and so on and so forth until we got so sleepy and climbed back upstairs...

*once i accidently wore that bag infront of azfar and he insist on having a bag like mine...x pasal2 kene marah ngan mama...hehe

thank you for being so thoughtful mama and took great care of our feelings...:D
love you!

*i've been googling around for an image of that bag but unfortunately, i think it's out of fashion now...huhu

*to mama, ayah and anyone who's reading this...please pray i can focus and study for surgery's theory exam this coming thursday and osce on saturday...the egyptian students keep telling me how easy it was...i need a pusher!

volcano...

when we were in primary school,
did you guys ever get any projects to build up volcanoes or a 3D world?

*this isn't my project, i stoled it from google image...hhehe

i got that project once in my standard 5...
we were to build a 3D volcano from tissue, papers, starch, paints and some other stufss...(i totally forgot how the whole experiment works)
so i gave mama the list of stuffs i need to bring for science class the following week

those days, mama and ayah was so busy...so i didn't put my hopes high...
as the day arrived,
i woke up alone that dawn...usually mama and ayah would be upstairs, forcing us into the toilet to get ready for school, but i couldn't find a sign of them anywhere...

so i climbed down the stairs and heard voices in the kitchen...scrubbing my eyes with my knuckles to get a clearer image, i peaked into the kitchen and saw mama in front of the stove and ayah at the sink...

"hmm...apa lagi, dah 2 jam da ni... abang rase jadi tak?" my mum asked my dad while reading a piece of tiny paper...
"mama buat ape nie?" i asked
"tengah siapkan kanji (starch) untuk project science kaklong la..." my mum replied..

ooooh...huhu...i was so moved...never imagine mama would wake up just for the sake of a fake volcano...hehe

thanks a zillion mama!

kasut lagi...

huhu, my house had some internet problem on the 16th...sorry mama...
i'll try my best continuing your month...
this year's are about specific times am so grateful u are around...

and once was early morning on my second day of primary school in malaysia...
do you remember that day ma?...

i remembered perfectly my first day, because i went to school alone...(skolah petang)
from my morning school (a skolah rendah agama) i took a van to a nursery. they took care of me there and then i took that van again to the evening school...alone...completely forgetting that my dad had told me that he'd pick me up...hehe
*ayah was panicked of course searching for me...but we found each other at that evening school...

after a tiring full day of school...i managed to bring back what looked like a survived war zone pair of school shoes... (cerita kasut lagi...hehe)...the purely white shoes was liked dipped into a chocolate fountain...

mama was of course surprised to see that...

if i remembered clearly, i quickly fell asleep after dinner that night...so exhausted! (haven't picked up the stamina of a day's worth of activities yet)

and morning comes...which gave me a very pleasant surprised instead...that chocolate-fountain-dipped shoes has turned purely white again!..wow!!!...

"waa...macamane bley jadi putih???"...i asked, amazed...
"ooh, mama basuh malam tadi, adek tolong jugak...gune nie"...said my little brother showing me the 'kapur kasut'...
"really???"...and we both looked at that shoes in full admiration...:D

hehe...thank you mama!...
i wonder at what time you woke up to whiten up that shoes...what will happen to me without you~
love you loadsss mama...:)

shoes pulak

today's about another outfit story...hehe
i was 11 maybe...we (my mom, dad, sibs and i) were striping down our house from unused items...
while we were rummaging through the piles of boxes under the stairs, i found a bag of shoes...
and a pair of them were actually mine...
a pink lady-like shoe with flowers or checkerboard pattern decorated on it...(i dun remember its details)
this shoe was too small for me by then...
but it reminded me on how i got it before...

....
i was very small back then, and mama n ayah brought us to a shoe outlet...an "ADULT" shoe outlet...while mama was looking for a pair of shoes...i took interest in picking out one for me too...hehe


so, by the time my mom found her's, i asked for one too...
"tak boley...yang ni utk org besar..."
"laa...x pe la, da besar nnt yana bley pakai..."
"tak bley2...mama da lambat nie, jom..."
"alaa...yana nk jugak!!!"


and i kept on asking for it until at last, my mom brought me to the kids section...
unfortunately, there wasn't a single shoe for my age yet in that store...huhu
but i still kept on my tantrum asking for a shoe...
when finally, my mom bought me that pink shoe...
"hmm...nah...ingt nnt, umur yana 8 tahun baru muat nk pakai...simpan elok2!"
"ok!"...so happy...:D

....
at age 11, i look at that already small and never-yet-been-worn pink shoes...smiled...
"hmm...tak sempat nk pakai...lupe~"...said my mum and she threw it in the bin
*it's already decayed due to lack of use...

huhu...so sorry mama...
i seriously never forgot that shoe though i never get to wear it...
tibe2 rase nk quote ap yg adeeq cakap aritu:-
"isyh...susah la kalau dapat anak cam yana"...hehe

but thank you for putting up with me...:D
love you mama!

*lecture gyneacology td was so interesting...first time a lecturer end his lecture with syair...:D

the cute lil dress

there was once,
we were about to take a trip...a very long journey...
mama n ayah prepared for weeks...or mayb months (i dun remember that quite clearly)

and one of the preparation was our outfit :D

mama sew out my dress...i remembered being so excited, being measured from head to toe every other day. and can't wait for that dress to finish...

it was a flowery chocolate orangy, with a cute girly colar and a huge bow ribbon at the back. the dress was just pass my knees. i wore it with white socks and shoes (dun remember what shoes...hehe)

it was towards christmas...and that dress was luckily done before the christmas celeb at my playschool. i told everyone at school my mom was sewing my dress herself...so, as the celebration was near, i purposely asked my teacher what kind of dress i should wear. she said i can wear the one my mom sewn...

"mama, esok ad christmas celebration, teacher suruh pakai baju yg mama jahit tu"
"eh, mane teacher yana tau pasal baju tu...pakai baju laen la"
"yana criter kat dy la...x boley...dy kate kene pakai baju tu jugak..."
"hmm...pakaila"
(the conversation was something like dat...hehe...one thing for sure, i wasn't "pelat" as far as i remembered)

and so, i got so excited getting to wear it!

though actually it was sewn for that long journey...
thanx ma for putting up n letting me wear it

*to be honest, i dun remember whether dis is my actual memory or it was told to me by u or ona...it was such a long time ago~
*lupe nk grab d pic at home...huhu

happy mama's month!

my mama's months!

my mama months starts today...

i planned starting it on march 1st, but it's really difficult trying to figure out what to write about my mom when she's just in the next room...hehe

by the way, spending tyme around her is much more satisfactory rather than jotting...

hurm...i've been thinking this through a lot!...one think i know...i love my mom...unconditionally!

since i havn't prepared like i did last year...
i'll start with,
i wanna thanx my mom for making me feel soooo happy for a month of my unexpected winter holiday in malaysia!
(and of course for the past 22 years...but i wanna make some specifics here)

first thing, she picked me up from the airport...
allowing me to hang out with my grandma the very next day... (which i doubt not every mother would allow after tormenting worries for the past fortnight)
letting me and adeeq go out uncontrollably...hehe...i missed my times with him a lot now and i bet u do more...
giving me a netbook...luckily u'r the one deciding which green...:D
teaching me healthy delicious cookings... (i'll try to practice it though i much prefer hazardous ones...hehe)
*especially the sup ketam...:D
paying for my stuffs to bring back here...
smiling...
loving me...

and so much more, which i can only flash it through my mind but very difficult to put into words...

have a wonderful mother's month mama!
(specific for my mom...sorry i can't let u guys share it...)
my mama's month!

student malaysia mesir: I felt it for the second time!!!

sorry for the long title...hehe

just got back from ampang pecah...and guess what?...i can't deny it was fun!!!

anyway, i'll keep ampang pecah's story for next time...today i wanna talk about...peace.

have you ever thought once in your life that you are living in a peaceful setting, nothing to be worried or stressed about, as though it feels momentarily like u are in paradise already?

well...i got that moment once. a moment i realized that i was not worried.
that moment was when i experienced the evacuation process to malaysia.
where almost all the malaysian student in egypt were once compiled in a place called madinatul hujjaj in jeddah.

at first i was just excited by the fact that it was easy to meet people there...(friends who u need to travel with all kind of transport first to see them in egypt) in those few days, they're just next door or next building. (especially ones with babies...hehe)

but then i realized, even though everybody was complaining about being accidently 'held captive'...no one was cautions. people literally trust their stuff to unknown people...i see people charging their laptops, phones and all sorts of electronic gadgets in block B ground floor unattended. they plug in the charger and left coming back only after it was full or mayb until they suddenly remembered....hehe

i actually left dollars on my bed and it wasn't even moved. (my dorm was filled with almost 30 people and only 4-6 of them i knew very well)

that time i felt glad to be with such acquaintance. grateful that Allah let me feel what it's like to live in a trust-able community.

and guess what?.. these two days, i felt it again at ampang pecah! where all of the people there were malaysian student in Egypt. i hardly knew anyone in my dorm yesterday, and today we're good friends already.

we have this activity where we give "penghargaan" to our friends...i was thinking of giving one at first, but they were limited...huhu...

so here, i'd like to give "penghargaan" to all malaysian student in Egypt for creating this wonderfully calm and peaceful community where we support each other through every thick and thin! where everyone whether they are your very best buddies or you just knew them a second ago is trust-able. that care for everyone not just their friends and always ever so helpful...thank you so much everybody!!! may Allah reserve a place for each one of you in Jannah.

when i told my family in malaysia about this experience, they advice me to be careful...student's life, everyone is pure...but once you start working, you'll never know what people might do to obtain their wicked dreams...as they do not believe in one God and the hereafter. so be caution to whom you put your trust in! (this is what i've been told)

i miss this community! really!!!
and, i very much like to let others feel what it's like to never be worried being robbed or out of money. having people to share your sadness instead just your happiness...hopefully Malaysia will be that dream country and i would very much like to be a part of that community!

*i dunno if others got the opposite experience, but this is what i felt like so far staying with malaysian student in Egypt.


-hopefully my friday won't b so disastrous...huhuhu