the triggers of my inner mind

ikan pari bakar kuah percik

2012-02-19T18:07:00.002+02:00

in winter holiday, i enjoyed myself too much...
missing those days already like they were a thousand years away...T_T
(exaggerate nyerrr)

anyway,
there was an incident in malaysia that reminds me of my life in egypt
ever since my dad had an emergency stent in his coronary, our house has only been having healthy food...thanks to my mother's unconditional love...hehe
(dun get me wrong ma, the foods are still marvellous)
so we usually have grilled fish...n one of my dad's favourite - grilled stingray

one night, after dinner...i procrastinated cleaning up the dining table as some of us havn't had dinner yet... until it was about midnight, when i suddenly remembered to keep the leftovers into the fridge...
there then, i found out that the grilled stingray which was draped with *'kuah percik' already gives out a tinge of 'smell'

i picked up the portion of fish n smelt it closely...*ting!!!*
n i was brought back to a memory of six years ago...in one of my early days in cairo
i was waiting for a bus at night with a bunch of girls (sorry i couldn't recall where i was heading) and suddenly, a silhouette of a body strolled towards the nearest trash container about 4 feet away from us.
the silhouette started scrambling the trash in it...

every few strokes, he will pick up something and smell it closely...
after almost several times trying, he finally found it...
the silhouette moved towards us and seems like he's peeling off something from which he's holding
and when suddenly the neon road light fall onto his face... i realized the silhouette was actually a women!
n...she was eating what seemed to be bread...

i almost cried witnessing this site...
now, back in malaysia 6 years later...
i couldn't bear myself to throw away that grilled stingray, n since the tinge of smell seemed to come only from the draper, so i washed away that 'percik' sauce and grilled the fish again...

i think it smells ok after i grilled it
but i hav no idea who finished it...opss!

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

...فَبِأَىِّ ءَالآءِ رَبِّكُمَا تُكَذِّبَانِ

(ar Rahman verse 13)

reminding myself first and foremost and anyone who's reading
n also, i apologize if i touched anybody's sentiments...

*kuah percik is a sauce containing coconut milk if am not mistaken, so it can get bad easily especially in malaysia's humid weather
keh3...nk back up diri to not b blamed for not keeping the leftovers earlier...sorry mama :'(

secret behind the doors

2012-01-20T16:51:00.001+02:00

we will never know about the secrets stored behind the doors of our future until we open them
just be extremely confident...that,
whatever are stored behind those secret doors...
have been kept by the Keeper for our best benefit!
and when we finally uncover the secrets...
it'll be just too beautiful that tears wont stop trickling...:')

we wont know for sure which doors we will open along our journey but finally...
One door will be opened by all of us...
a Door that if we've prepared enough to open it,
things will turn out easy for ETERNITY...

let's prepare ourselves for that Door...before it's just too late...
and stop worrying about the unknown doors that we might not even open

*dunno what got me interested in "doors" today...
mayb sbb teringt kat my lil brother yg ske tgk cerita ahmad albab mase dy kecik dulu...hehe

isk2...buhbye lovely friday..

p/s: this is just a personal scribble
p/s: the pictures of doors are randomly picked absent mindedly through google image

Diffusible Energy

2012-01-08T05:42:00.001+02:00

uhhh!(sigh) forgot to charge my phone again!

i know this one's battery is full...they dun put the battery sign empty in the internet...hehe

ever happened to u as u were rushing out the door in the morning?
happened to me occasionally...and how i wish electricity is diffusible...
(human never feel grateful huh? -jz referring to me for wishing diffusible electricity)

but this reminds me...we humans, run on diffusible energy...
in whatever rank we r in this world...be it the president of the world (is there?...soon to b insyaAllah) or the bagger in the streets...at whatever age u are as long as u are on the face of this earth...we consume the same energy..
which is...........

OXYGEN!

*yea i know we need food n water n vitamins n sun for energy too...but imagine, without oxygen for a few minutes...would we survive?

and thanks Allah! for making it diffusible, easily accessible (unless u go under water...hehe, still...oxygen tanks are available)

الحمدلله يا أرحم راحمين...^_^

it's sunday morning already...huu, my days go by so swiftly~
and also, i'd like to share this heartfelt touching poem i got from Sheikh Rohimuddin's class last Wednesday:

إذا آنستُ من خِلٍّ جَفاءً فلا أجْفُوْ وإنْ هو قد جفاني

ولكني أفارقه برفقٍ وأُمْسِك عن تناولِهِ لساني

love....comes from the heart :)

honey, i've shrunk the kids!

2011-12-11T12:34:00.001+02:00

last wednesday, i had a lecture about gastritis...
one of the common cause of inflammation of the stomach is an infection by a gram negative microaerophilic bacterium called H. Pylori...

one of the test done to diagnose the presence of this bacterium in our stomach is called 'rapid urease test'
Dr Ali Farag (who was the lecturer lecturing us that day) explained further...urease test used to be difficult to be done before because the equipment used can fill a huge room...but now, the kit is just the size of our palm...

ting*

i was brought back across time where watching television was one of my daily activity...
(how fun is our mind...it can time travel!) <<== sumone told me this ;)
i was reminded of a movie called "Honey, I've Shrunk The Kids!"
directed by joe johnston...

it got me thinkin, H. Pylori was only discovered about 2-3 decades ago...how fast has our technology progressed and developed eyh?
we didn't only shrunk the urease kit test...LOL
we got mini cameras in pills to diagnose stuff way deep in the small intestine
we got we got nanotech now that build stuffs using the microscope...
or simply...juz see how our phones n netbooks or ipads are getting as smaller n thinner as they can be
(now even the technology wants to be on diet...LOL)
it's like the writer of this movie has foreseen the future - that movie was released in 1989
ironically that was the year i was born!...no wonder it's stuck in my head~

but, no matter how much we've progressed and achieved in making our daily life easier...if that doesn't help us progressing in our human value...this world is still not a better place..:(
mayb we've shrunk our hearts too?

*alhamdulillah Egypt is better than usual, and will insyaAllah get out of this mess better than before
*May we all be guided by Allah to make the best of our time here :)

common is common..but..

2011-11-21T18:19:00.001+02:00

since i was in first yr, i've been hearing my lecturers saying "common is common"...
usually if we asked for explanations of complicated unknown 'theories'...
today though, in Andrology...Dr Hamed Abdullah stress on the rare ones (he still explained about the common ones)

and also, he gave a quote at the beginning of his lecture which reminds me of a medical research seminar i've gone through during the summer...in one of the critical thinking sessions, we were given pictures and were asked to give 10 description in 1 minute...the first picture was easy, a picture of which when we look at one angle is a pretty young woman but at another angle is an old woman (you can picture the women right?)...the second picture showed that if we look in details were Italian people performing on stage with dancers but from a wide scope was a mother smacking her child (unfortunately i can't find this picture)...and the third picture...

i'd like to ask you to describe it...
in one glimpse, what do you think you've just seen?

among 90 of us, most description was about a couple, a picture engraved on a jar...most of 'em i bet r in your minds...*this picture reminds me of christina aguilera song...am a genie in a bottle~~~ lalala...hee
but, one candidate said...i see dolphins!!! (mainly because he's been tricked by this picture before..hehe)
so...can you tell me...how many dolphins are there?

the Dr. who presented this critical thinking session said something like this..
Interestingly, research has shown that young children cannot identify the intimate couple because they do not have prior memory associated with such a scenario.
*i copied the words from this blog (i lost my notebook from that seminar...mayb accidently left it in malaysia..huu)

so...there are...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

9 dolphins...
*i apologize if this picture is offensive in anyway...

Dr Hamed Abdullah's quote at the beginning of his session was :-
"The eyes cannot see what the brain does not know"
which reminds me of this picture...

*as am progressing in maturity..hehe..ok, serious...this picture ironically got me thinkin...that am gonna face a tougher challenge in raising my future generations than my parents had...not jz me...we all will...some of us already are...
(Ya Allah...do protect Hani, Iman, Ulfah, Umar, Ulya and other muslim children...no discrimination intended, they jz currently felt more closer at the moment...hehe)

plus, this quote is also the reason Dr Hamed Abdullah stressed on the rare diseases...because the incidence are rare we tend to hesitate to give the diagnosis, or we are not familiar with them...but they should at least be at the back of our minds...
the patient who came knocking at your door may b the less than 1% case...but he's the one you are treating now...:)

everyday

2011-11-18T10:08:00.001+02:00

as we walked through our days...
some things passed by absent-mindedly..kinda hard to catch up with everything
my surgery professor Dr Hussein Khairy loves to say, "today's sunday?..when sunday comes the next sunday comes by much quicker! time is moving very fast..."
(in egypt we start our weeks on sunday)

life offers us so much, that we.. rushing through our days sometimes fail to appreciate them
so i proposed a game to a few friends...
to write down each day a word...
a word that catches our heart most, that can be felt down to the core...hehe

and here are the words we shared together..:)

1. sarcastic

touched someone's heart because the idea of being sarcastic, can compromise the bond in a relationship...especially if we are being sarcastic to someone who aren't close to us..close people usually put up with us...but for how long...

2. complicated

this one was extracted from our ECG class...the dr who taught us the fundamentals of ECG, trying to explain it...he said " i wish the electrical activity of the heart was as simple as wut i just told you...but unfortunately it's more complicated than that...and that's also life"...and it got one of my fellow thinking, life...how simple it is on the surface...it's complicated beneath..

3. determination

another friend of mine had a trouble of choosing between two difficult choices...one cannot go with the other,
remarkably...she found out that her determination to succeed made her drop the other choice (which if it was me...i'd falter)..a determination helps us get through the roughs

4. heart

a friend told us this word has two important task...heart, literally means the anatomical one which beats 70 times every minute to make sure we stay alive..but it also means our conscience...being human, it is also essential to have our heart put in the right place..a person cannot live with just taking care of the 'one side' of his heart..

5. psychoneurosis

the one who shared this word was tested with an illness that made her stayed out of school for a couple of days...being bedridden all those times, she understood how psycho feels like.
in life, we need people around us..n being alone drives us mad...can't agree more!

6. emotion

everyone has felt being mad at one point throughout his life..this feeling generated from our extrapyramidal tract (theoretically) gives us the sensation of a whorl of emotions...so we'd focus more on the pressing matters and forget the overall picture...this friend said...during this crucial time..we usually made bad decisions and utter hurtful words...emotions compromise the rationales...where in that point...we need to control it..

7. rainbow

because she was forced to rushed through her days with frustration at each stop..just because she made the wrong decision, she began to regret those wasted times...but, when the problem was solved...she saw the "rainbow" of her going through all those frustrations and spending those lost times...lean and hope to the 'Everlasting', will never dissapoint u at all she said

8. mind

this word was chosen because of the powerful ability it has, almost like time travelling or being in the other side of the world in a matter of seconds...she said..once ur mind start working...it's there already, even before ur physical starts doing it...like recollecting old sweet memories, planning on your future..and walla!...it's all in your mind..and positive minds invite positive reality

just thought that sharing this is beneficial..
pause our life once in a while..if not everyday...once a week or once a month...or, if you have too much ample time, try searching for the diamonds and gold every hour or minutes...hehe

as i glanced up

2011-10-29T15:55:00.000+02:00

this morning, i was woken up by a call from a friend (hehe...panna)...asking me to accompany her for a look out at Dr. Qenawi's extra surgery clinical class...hmm, in the confusion of just waking up...i agreed...haha
(gurau je, i did hav the intention...but u've given me the push :)

so, i went there alone (panna had to finish some stuffs in tahrir, so she came a bit later)...as i walked through the male ward in Dr. Amru Gad's unit, seeing so many egyptians, my heart started to quiver...am i gonna b d only malaysian?...hehe...but i kept on walking to the end of the ward...and saw amir...fuh...and eckm n yusri came too...wouldn't b alone then...:)

a polite egyptian guy offered me a seat in that already packed class...sitting alone, dunno wut to do...i glanced up...my eyes fell straight on a girl immediately in front of me,she was reading the Quran...whoa, i missed this view...used to see this during Ramadhan in Egypt...

after about 45 mins waiting...the dr came and announced to anyone who brings a flash drive to come with him...i missed the part of why we need to follow him (he was using egyptian arabic, and i wasn't paying attention)...then, everybody got up...i asked eckm, where is everybody going...he said, the class will b in the ward mayb...and i saw evrybody carrying their chairs to the male ward n the nurses pushing patient's beds out...and even patients offering their beds to students for a seat...

as most of the students have taken their seat, i saw many more of my colleagues taking out the Quran, reading It...
one of the patient offered me his bedside table to sit on...i sat beside Manar, we exchange names and smiles...and then, she took out her Quran...the girl beside her was also reading the Quran in her mobile...urm, this caught my attention...

and at last...Panna came...so, naturally...i shared my finding with her..."ramai orang baca Quran hari ni..." addressing my fellow colleagues..."owh, ha aa...iyelah...ni kn awal zulhijjah..."..."owh yea...x teringt pulak"..this reminds me how Egyptians celebrate eidul Adha more festive than eidul Fitri...:)
"jom kite baca hadith" panna invited me taking out her booklet of an Nawawi forty hadiths...<3

hehe...made my day today...and...thnx for giving me that "sweet" idea panna :D

am sorry i havnt scribbled in here for a very long time...(over 2 months)...got caught up in some other stuffs n problems...though i wished i'd get to share all my encounters in here...just another one and a half yr to go through in Egypt...kinda sad about the idea to leave this so educational place, but i really hope not to lengthen my stay here...
do lend ur prayers for us final years...please....:D

finally, wanna end my post today with this

found it in facebook from k teah's post...it's so pleasant
huu...miss u so much k teah!!

with grandma...

2011-08-23T12:29:00.000+02:00

last saturday, my grandma, my mom and dad and i went to seksyen 7 to accompany my grandma to the dentist..
for her final stage of dental implant...

as my grandma was called in, my mom n dad followed suite...huh?...nk ikot jugak la! (i followed in as well):p

after my grandma lie comfortably on the dental chair, Dr Firdaus took out her x ray and praised how excellent the implant is!
(but i can only see two rod sticking in the incisor part of the mandible)...hmm?

then, Dr Firdaus said he'd put in some anesthetics, we'd need to wait for another half an hour or so, and he will call us back in to put in my grandma's teeth...i looked at the set of lower dentures sat on his surgical tray...
urm, why would he need anesthesia to put in that dentures? i questioned...

it was like this image except there were only two implants on the lower central incisor's part

so, slowly...i went to my dad's side and asked him..."ntah!, kklg tanye la dr!" (i dunno, why don't u ask the dr!)...urmm...shy as usual (haha), i kept quiet...so, as dr firdaus finished anesthetizing my grandma and we were about to go out of his examination room, my dad asked him
"ni...my daughter tanye why do u need to anesthetize her grandma"
"owh, to make like a clip for her denture to her implants...tak pe, nnt i show u how i do it!" dr firdaus replied with a smile...i returned his smile...and we've broken the ice!

so, for the second time in dr firdaus's room...i asked here and there as he worked on my grandma...felt like in an operating theater with a very helpful teaching dr...
"okay, we use a 12-blade to expose the implant"...he started..."and cut out the mucosa covering the implant i've drilled in 3 months ago"...
"we use titanium for the implant as it integrates excellently with the bone! see, no signs of inflammation at all" he said pointing at the xray and my grandma's lower jaw..."u see, Subhanallah!!!...among all the stuff our body rejects and make and inflammation around, on titanium, it doesn't...not only our body does not reject it...the bone even integrates with titanium..any other metal...even calcium...if we put calcium rod in our body our body defense will reject it or even another human bone!...but not titanium!"

"why?"...

"not sure, it was found accidentally!"

"who found it?"

"an orthopedic surgeon actually...Dr Branemark, he was doing his master research about blood flow in bone, so, he used a rabbit's femur and borrowed his professor's microscope...he put the microscope in the bone and observed...his master research was a success...and his professor asked for his microscope back...and that is when he realized, not only the microscope was stuck...the rabbit's bone even integrates with it...and that microscope was made of... Titanium!"

"accidental discovery!" my mum said

"yup, most discoveries were realized accidentally...they happen everyday in front of us, it really depends on us, whether we are a good observer or not...see, Branemark there could ignore the fact that his professor's microscope was stuck and just chip off the rabbit's bone...but instead, he saw this as a new finding...and investigated it!

"wow!"...loading these infos...hehe

i learned a lot from Dr Firdaus dat day...and seriously i felt like am back in Cairo for a moment there...hehe

there were many other topics we discussed about in that hour and a half procedure...and dun worry, Dr Firdaus has the best interest in his patient, my grandma was comfortable as ever during our whole discussion...
after discussing titanium's structure and how to wait for it to blend in with the jaw first before clipping on the dentures...we talked about acrylic resin... it caught my eye, cause acrylic exert exothermic heat...Dr. Firdaus even let me test it...hee..:D

well, this is too long already i guess,
thinkin of taking dentistry?...hehe, they say we can get rich easily being a dentist...
but medicine has always been my passion...hmm...

well, from his talk...what i get is, be observant!...the truth might just be starring in our face this whole while...and we might be the next huge discoverer!!!

slamat mengejar malam lailatul qadar!!!...:)
owh, pray for me and my family too k!

لمّا...

2011-08-12T15:07:00.001+02:00

a few days ago, someone cancelled their class with ustaz mahmoud or came late...i dunno which
which i end up having ustaz mahmoud as my teacher (am studying with ustazah jihad now)...
and of course, his classes always triggers something in my cerebral cortex...
that day, a fair few significant stuff caught my eyes...but today i wanna share about "لمّا"

لمّا... is one of the أدوات الجزم
أدوات الجزم are "characters" or words when put in front of a present tense or an ordering verb will cause that verb to either have this sign "a ْ " (the one above letter 'a') on it's last letter or loose حرف العلة if it ends with either ا-و-ي or loose ن if the verbs are one of the افعال الخمسة

that was briefly...for further info
أدوات الجزم : http://ar.wikipedia.org/wiki/فعل_مضارع#.D8.A7.D9.84.D8.AC.D8.B2.D9.85
افعال الخمسة : http://ar.wikipedia.org/wiki/أفعال_خمسة

what caught my eyes was...the meaning of لمّا
ustaz mahmoud recapitulated to me the meanings of لمّا one by one:
1. it تجزم the present tense verb
2. when it is added, it negates the verb
3. it changes the meaning of that present tense verb and make the verb means past
4. and also means that the negative verb is still happening till present (to the time frame of the speaker)
5. plus, the verb has a potential to be done in the future...

ustaz mahmoud said that...we use "لمّا" when we wanna express that it is weird that this verb has not occurred and still not being done...
for example:

كبر الغلام ولمّا يتعلم

the child grew but still not learning

it's weird for a person to grow up but not learn a thing...and of course, in the future this child might be learning something...

and so...in surah 'Abasa verse 23...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

كَلَّا لَمَّا يَقْضِ مَآ أمَرَهُ

which means:

23. Nay, but (man) has not done what He commanded him.

literally, we can understand the translation: human haven't done what Allah has told him
but deeply, when we apprehend the words by how it is used and expressed...the meanings becomes deeper...

now from this verse...after i understood what لمّا means...i see it like this
don't be like this!...humans haven't done and are still not doing what Allah has told them to do! and this shouldn't be happening...but, there is a potential that they will do what Allah has told them to do...

and by understanding this verse as i wrote above, the next verse' meaning seems continuous.

how beautiful it is to get it...and لمّا is simply just a character...not even considered a word in arabic...

now i see why Allah merit each letter in the Quran when we pronounce it...

i still have much to learn...and sadly am progressing too slow for the time i have left...
so do correct me if am wrong...

let's read the Quran as much as we can during this wholly month as -

الفرض فيه بسبعين فرض و السنّة بفرض

each obligatory practice is rewarded 70 times and each sunnah practice will be rewarded as obligatory ones

(ustazah jihad told me this)

selamat beramal di bulan Ramadhan...:D
*reminding myself mostly and anyone who's reading...

precious

2011-08-02T15:19:00.000+02:00

"my precious"...it reminds me of Gollum from LOTR
(if u have the time...do click the link above and watch Gollum/Smeagol's internal affairs...until he succeeded...it reminds me that in Ramadhan...all the devils are tied up...so the one we are actually fighting with is...OURSELVES!)

before last two days...when i felt "relatively neutral"...
i know, Ramadhan is coming...and everybody is making it "The Matter" to be talk and think and hope about...
i get the intention...and i also thought i myself yearned for Ramadhan to come...
watching you tube, reading articles...praying "Allahumma Ballighna Ramadhan"...
or so i thought i've felt it...

but, just hours away before we welcome this Holy Month...
while i was in my Quran class with ustazah Maha...she got a phone call, that told her...
a junior in 2nd year passed away...Innalillahi wainna ilaihi roji'uun...

Ustazah Maha was so affected as she had taught that junior once...
every few ayat i stopped at, she'll mouth out these words...

"owh, her mom...she just flew back to malaysia"
"owh, her dad...what would he say to her mom..."
"in just 4 hours it'll be maghrib, and she missed it..."

and then, in my arabic class...ustazah jihad poured out her heart

"liyana, you know, now that i think of Khadijah (her daughter)...only 1 year and three months...everyday i see her wake up, starting to walk, eat, laugh, cry...i can't imagine how i'd be if she was taken away from me...and a mother that saw her child grew up to the 20ies...owh...her family and friends must be very devastated!"

"you know how meaningful is the du'a 'Allahumma Ballighna Ramadhan' that Rasulullah s.a.w. taught us?...it's not just some prayer you chant out after the solah absentmindedly...we really can't know for sure if we get to be in another Ramadhan..."

and after performing Maghrib prayer with her, she shook my hand and said
"Congratulation ya liyana! our first maghrib in Ramadhan!" beaming radiantly...and added..."Don't forget to pray for Faten Fasehah"...

and that night...after solat terawih...i stood watching her coffin pass by...
there...i took in...how lucky i am to feel and get to perform in another Precious Ramadhan...
owh, how i thought i've felt that...

It's Precious!
*talking to myself...reminding me...
Al-Fatihah to Faten Fasehah...and may Allah strengthen her family and friends~

communication

2011-07-23T06:24:00.003+02:00

among the numerous essays i was required to write in Arabic, last monday, ustazah jihad asked me to write about 'asbab at-tolak'...(causes of divorce)...

lastu mutazawwijah ya ustazah! i replied...hehe
la budda 3ndik thaqofah!...7awil!...errmmm...so anyway, i scribbled away...thinkin hard of reasons reasonably...

i end up jotting down 3 causes
1. no communication
2. being extremely busy
3. loosing the sweetness of early days of marriage (the girls were shy and the guy were gentleman)...ni naimah yg pesan...haha

ustazah jihad was so excited reading my unplanned work...thus she ended up giving me all her tips on how to take care of 'a husband'...elaborating more on my points.
seems like ustaz mahmoud is very lucky to have her...:)

anyway, the most important she said is of course communication!
well, to me...not only in a marriage...in any relationships present in this world, communication proves to be a key solvent.

for example
wouldn't it be very difficult if A n B got into a misunderstanding that got B so upset and B decided to never wanna talk to A...
so how can A explain to B how the misunderstanding happened...
even if it's not a misunderstanding...say for example A actually did something very wrong...shouldn't A be given the chance to explain himself?

through my experience, when i try to advice someone like B to listen, they would say...
"'A' will try to cook up a story to explain himself!...i wont except nonsense!...i dun wanna hear it!"

usually, if this is a couple, A is the guy n B is the girl...and sorry to say, girls get upset easily and are very difficult to accept any other explanation apart from the prove they saw before their own eyes..
(i feel like writing men are from mars and women are from venus...haha)

anyhow...wherever we stand in a relationship, be it husband and wife, girlfriend and boyfriend, among our friends, mom and daughter, dad and son, teacher and student...etc etc...

take care of these relationships you possess...throw away the communication barrier...learn to listen and be wise in responding...

"limaza kullu hazihi dhojjah? taqulu bil hudu' lau samaht~..solli 3ala muhammad!"

(why are you scolding? please, say it calmly~ solli 3ala muhammad!)

a sentence i learnt from ustazah jihad

and the most precious relationship that should be our utmost priority to keep is between ourselves and Allah...:)

this reminds me of a story ustaz mahmoud told us in one of the fiqh sirah classes...of our amirul mukminin Umar al Khattab...(i apologize first cause i dun remember precisely who were the other characters in this story)

so...a delegation from another country came to Madinah al Mukarramah to meet the leader of islam Umar al-Khattab...he asked around for his throne...and a guy responded..."there he is under that tree..." pointing at Umar al-Khattab
"owh!...thanks, but how do i meet him?" the delegation asked
the guy was confused?...does he need to explain how to walk to the obvious tree in front of them?
"just go there and meet him!" he replied~

how communication was made very easy before, even the most feared leader of Islam can be confronted by normal people... without all the hustle of bureaucracy~
a result of our beloved Prophet's guidance...

reminding myself mostly and to whomever reading this
Ramadhan is approaching....~

a very interesting video i found from a friend's facebook...:)

nisfu shaaban...

2011-07-19T00:00:00.003+02:00

during my secondary school years (i went to a boarding school)...

every year, i've learnt that in nisfu shaaban (in the middle of Shaaban's month), there is a night where we recite surah Yaasiin thrice.

after each recitation, we read a du'a...and we 'hope'

after the first recitation we hope for a long life of goodness

after the second recitation we hope for 'halal' earnings

after the third recitation we hope for a complete faith (iman) when we die

(this...i literally translated from a booklet of Yaasiin and Du'a with malay translation)

dis year...coincidently on 14th Shaaban, me and another 10 of my friends headed to Dumyat...for a short vacation...guided by Fida n her husband...:)

thnx!

the journey was supposed to start at 6.a.m...hehe (i got out of my house at 6.20 due to the oversleep...huhu (panic giler packing)...we boarded the train at 7.30 (naseb baek sempat)

as we reached dumyat, we took a microbus to an apartment by the beach

a view from one of the windows...can u imagine how many people are down there! and dis isn't even 1/10th of the beach...i can say at least a 'number' of Egypt's population are here

rest for a while after the long journey wit this cute mind-calming girl...

though she looked annoyed i guess...hehe

then we went to see the end of nile river...honestly, i was really amazed by the view...after months living in cairo...it's a relieve to feel mother nature-

need to repeat dis pic...cause, usually when i use my own camera it's either am alone in it or am not in it...the latter is most...~

they tried to taste if there's a difference in the water...but when i look down, i was reminded of my mom...

she'll definitely say..."don't!...you might fall into the sea!"...hehe

hehe...jz can't resist...iman and her aunty erin...she sure does love her...:)

then we walk back home accompanied by the beautiful sunset~

carrying as much water as i can...~summer~

*itu topi pinjam...thnx azlin..:)

the best sunset picture i ever captured!

okay...enough with the pics...

that night...i felt really grateful to have my friends with me...

we recited surah Yaasiin together...a very memorable moment...if i weren't there...i might be alone at home...and might not be able to finish reciting surah Yaasiin up to three times...or even at all...but, alhamdulillah...wut r friends for right?...:D

*urm...pray for ust alang...

then, they had barbecue...i missed it...huhu...seriously can't open my eyes after that...so sad~

anyway...i thought, that was a blessing already...getting many companies at the night of nisfu shaaban...

but the nex day, after a long journey back home (approximately 6 hrs)...thinking am too exhausted to even open the fridge...suddenly, out of the blue...my landlord climbed up my fourth floor apartment, knocked on my door after maghrib with a complete set of Egyptian dinner...:D

(which i finished eating the next day though i was so hungry - signifying how plenty it was)

owh, how touching!...thank you so much ustazah Maha!...may Allah bless her eternally...

this month, Egypt seems more beautiful...:)

Allahumma ballighna Ramadhan!

jealous

2011-07-13T10:35:00.002+02:00

i've been lookin up for the meaning of this word...
JEALOUS...yup!

but it doesn't really fit...
the feeling of wanting something for oneself only or the feeling of don't wanna share...
coz what dictionary.com explained means more like rivalry...

it reminds me of a surah i discussed with my landlord just before i started my final exams...

surah at-Tahrim...

generally, from what i understood...in the first 5 verses described and incident that happened among our beloved Prophet's wives...they were jealous of each other. so, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon Him), to console one, he promised that he wouldn't visit the other one...(the tafsir is long...and the story is interesting, but i didn't remember all...)

and so Allah sent down surah at Tahrim, asking His messenger:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

1. O Prophet! Why do you forbid (for yourself) that which Allah has allowed to you, seeking to please your wives? And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

and Allah released Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) from his oath...

2. Allah has already ordained for you (O men) the absolution from your oaths. And Allah is your Maula (Lord, or Master, or Protector) and He is the All-Knower, the All-Wise.

then Allah described part of the incident and how He revealed it to His messenger...

3. And (remember) when the Prophet (peace be upon him) disclosed a matter in confidence to one of his wives (Hafsah), then she told it (to another i.e 'Aishah). And Allah made it known to him; he informed part thereof and left a part. Then when he told her (Hafsah) thereof, she said: "Who told you this?" He said: "The All-Knower, the All-Aware (Allah) has told me."

the next two verse, Allah warns Hafsah and 'Aishah...and the others too...

4. If you two (wives of the Prophet -peace be upon him-: 'Aishah and Hafsah -radiAllahu 'anhuma) turn in repentance to Allah, (it will be better for you), your hearts are indeed so inclined (to oppose what the Prophet -peace be upon him- likes); but if you help one another against him (Muhammad -peace be upon him-), then verily, Allah is his Maula ( Lord or Master or Protector) and Jibril and the righteous among the believers; and furthermore, the angels are his helpers.

5. It may be if he divorced you (all) that his Lord will give him instead of you, wives better than you - Muslims (who submits to allah), believers, obedient (to Allah), turning to Allah in repentance, worshipping Allah sincerely, given to fasting or emigrants (for Allah's sake), previously married and virgins.

in the sixth verse, everyone is reminded to protect ourselves and our family from hell fire, then we are told about repentance and this surah ends nicely with 4 examples of wives...two of which who disobeyed Allah, wives of Nabi Nuh and Nabi Lut and the another two wives of the believers...Asiah (wife of the pharaoh) and Maryam son of Imran...

i apologize in advance if there are any mistakes in conveying the meaning of surah at Tahrim...do correct me if am wrong...:)

from here, i learnt that...even our beloved Prophet went through the turmoils of life...it will never escape anybody...
but still...jealous is not the real word to describe this yearning to possess for oneself...but it's the closest one or the most commonly used i may say...hmmm

dun like feeling it..=.=

anyway...in the month of Shaaban, lets submerge ourselves with histories of our Prophet...and may it be our daily habits...:)
Allahumma ballighna Ramadhan...can't wait!

holiday?

2011-07-08T08:45:00.000+02:00

^_^

time flew by like a blurr...huhu
and now i am only left with a single summer before it all ends...(hopefully!...kearah sifar dur thani!!!ameen)

so...in the past month...am pretty much stuck at home, reading...memorizing...sleeping...
one of those times where i talk to myself alot...or to my teddy...hehe...(not being nuts...i need to practice talking in egyptian)

gune bebo in the mean time...

everytime i felt my head is crammed...fida's facebook would be browsed...hehe, to look at this heartbreakingly cute iman!

but even though i didn't get to meet a lot of people...exam months taught me a lot!...plus it was in Rejab month...a month dedicated for our one and mighty God...this year around...it fits in very much as we everyday hoped and prayed He would make stuff easy for us...

Sungguh.peperiksaan itu satu 'modul tarbiyah'..

(from Natrah's status)

i hope the lessons we get through this year's experience of exams will make us a better person in the future...:)

5 years ago~~~
each and everyone of us just only started...we got through MMS week in INTEC and had the very fun 3 months course of preparation...
and it coincide with Rejab month too...

as i recalled a day in my class MEP5, ust Razi did a quiz or something like dat where we throw qeustions between each other (it was between boys and girls)...the one question i could never forget...from Faeid
"bacakan ayat alQuran yang sebut tentang isra' mi'raj" (of course he said it with his kelantanese accent...:)

whoa!!!very difficult i thought at that time...ust Razi looked around..."no answer?"...he asked us...
after a few minutes, one of the girls said -
"ayat yang kate 'minal masjidil haram ilal masjidil aqso'!"...sorry i forgot who answered that...
"iyelah...bacakan ayat tersebut, surah ap ayat brape"...Faied replied back...
hehe...nobody managed to answer that...

but to me it was a lucky question...as after that ust Razi explained that ayat to us
(surah isra' first verse)
how from ages ago till this moment, the land surrounding masjid al-Aqso was, still and will always be blessed...
and how it reminds us about Allah...
and how it should have united the whole muslim nation...
and about isra' mi'raj itself...
am not good in explaining these kind of info...but that day opened my eyes about my world...:)

sume da besar da skarang...

time pass by us so fast...it's like a blink of an eye...and there'll come a day when we'd feel like everything was just yesterday...a day or two ago...but we can never return back...

now we're in Syaaban...Allahumma balighna Ramadhan!...:)
have a nice holiday gen6 and others who are about to finish their xms...
and do also pray for our unity...

missing~

2011-06-19T15:40:00.000+02:00

jz finished an MCQ paper...
the whole day yesterday...and today...
i've been missing this person...
dunno why...
so,
ryte after i came down from the exam hall...i called him...

"hello...assalamualaykum!"
"waalaykum salam...haa, liyana!"...hihi...
"ayah kat ne nie?"...

and i pour out the stories of 2 days worth of exams...and talked to my mum
"ma doakan yana ea!"
:)
and the conversation ended...

still missing...wut did i miss?

and just now, skimming through facebook i realized...
today is father's day!
happy father's day ayah!!!...
patutla asek teringat...tersilap wish awal sngt aritu...huuu~

*ayah in yellow...or brownish yellow...
tgk gmbr nie teringt yen kate..".haa, yana...cepat amek gmbr prof2 tu!"...hee
seems like u'r the only one still without a white hair yet...:)
do stay young!

adapting and OBGYN

2011-06-05T08:33:00.002+02:00

we have officially ended our obstetric and gynecology round yesterday!!!

which means...study leave has started and finals are around the corner...
which also means, we will see each other less...T_T
and books will be our besties...day and night!...hmm~

before i start to isolate myself, i'd like to share this very wonderful experience with all the obstetrician and gynecologist in Cairo University...

around the end of march, we started this famously known to be difficult course...
my seniors reminded me since the start of first semester to never miss a very beneficial morning class by Dr. Mahmoud Salem...i attended his first lecture, reluctant at first as i knew he'd convey in pure Egyptian arabic, but was surprised to find out that it wasn't that difficult to understand his lectures...
(dr mahmoud salem must be guilelessly earnest in teaching this subject)

"father rather than professor"
a speech from Dr Mahmoud Salem after the party, shows, videos and gift from batch 2006 kasr el ainy...really enjoyed that party...and i felt how cheerful and fun it is with Egyptian...:D
miss attending his lectures almost every morning...~

as we approached the end of march, we were told that the Malaysian students were to be divided into 6 small groups...and each group would be mixed with a group of local students...and here my small group were placed in Dr Osama elShenoufy's unit...

and in this unit, we experienced more than medical science...:D
(i do not speak for my whole group though...in case anyone disagree...:p)
i can't deny our first few weeks were tough, no offense...but egyptian's culture is really different from our's...anyhow, we survived till the end of this round...

throughout those 8 weeks, i got the chance to...

* gain wonderful and very helpful egyptian friends...helping us with the language and giving us tips on how to communicate with egyptians...and also, i get to share some stories about their daily life and their childhood too...:D

* meet hardworking people (residents and professors in Dr Osama elshenoufy's unit)...

especially one of our resident, Dr Taymour...
he's the one who took care of our timetable, make sure professors came to our clinical and tutorials, heeds to any requests from them, set up the projectors and providing the markers...and surprisingly, i also met him in the clinics examining, diagnosing and treating patient...in the theater, c-secting pregnant womens...in the wards checking up patients charts...and, if we were to nag him, he never fail to confront us with his smile...
what a great multitasker!...err...i admit i do not know him personally well, but that was what i'd observed...it's an eye-opener...what with the fact that you understand how difficult life is in cairo or egypt per se...wow!

kak battah told us last night "one of the things i admire in egyptians is that they can still continue their life even though they are severely oppressed!"

all the doctors and professors in our unit were extremely helpful...:D
gratefull for the chance to meet all of them!

* witness how life started and the preciousness of being a lady (her gentle clutch)...as of course, all of the patients in OBGYN are women...once in a while i get to talk to their husbands if they were present...

and among the hundreds and thousands of stuffs we went through, the most valuable lesson from OBGYN specifically and 'thaurah' (revolution) generally that i get is...
*understanding the impact of "Change"...(the main issue i wanna talk about in this post actually...)
since Dr. Hossam Badrawi (head of OBGYN department) insisted to distribute and mix us up with the egyptians, a change that has been attempted before...but the difference this time is that we were divided into very small numbers so we were obliged to mingle with egyptians...it was difficult for us at first...and for some of them too...but, towards the end of 5th week...everybody kind of just accepted it...(ryte?)

what i am trying to convey here is...every change is not easy...after an abrupt change, we need to face a period where we have to adapt...and it's not a very pleasant period, but...once we got through it, it'll feel like breathing again...

like a fetus becoming a neonate...like a dependent child becoming an independent adult...like a single person getting married (ehem...hehe, i heard this example from kak battah...havn't gone through it yet...)...in our whole life we will need to face these changes...there will be pain and gain...and to get ourselves through it relatively fine...we have to acknowledge that we need this period of adapting...

a period where we make mistakes and we learn from them, we accept good new stuffs and throw out the bad ones and finally end up being a better person...the times we spent for this change, will turn out to be a very sweet memory...and a valuable lesson for our future...and it'll differ between each individuals time-wise...

Allah has destined us for these challenges, not to turn us down...but to rise us up towards Him...He promised there will be no obstacles before us that we could never face but He also mentioned that He won't change a nation if the nation itself does not work for it...so, from what i have experienced in OBGYN (specifically)... let's not cower from changes...let's give ourselves time to adapt!

acknowledging this fact will helps us to face these obstacles insyaAllah...change is hard but it's good...:)

thanx to Dr Hossam Badrawi who is willing to accept all our complaints...and the lesson it yields is priceless...
reminding myself mostly to never give up...and to anyone who reads this...feel free to correct me if am wrong...
the lessons are countless...and i believe, everyone of us learnt something different...:D

-source of inspiration to write "this" long (hehe): kak battah's wida' speech last night...

me, kak battah, ezzat (kak battah's son) and iqa...

kak battah has been staying in egypt for almost 9 years now, completed her degree in ainshams and also her sanah imtiyaz...and about to leave for malaysia end of this june...isk2...such an inspirational, easy-going and fun-to-be-with senior of us!...:D

well, i guess...this very extremely long post would cover up the days that i've and will miss...thnx for reading it till the end~...^_^

wishing Egyptians the best for their future...your efforts are what Allah sees...and may Allah bless Egypt with a greater future! (kagum dengan 'syabab-syabab' Egypt)

and also...best of luck to Gen6 and dof'et 2006...let's work hard and pray lots...and may we get the best results for our finals...:D
pray for us!

my sunshine

2011-05-25T23:29:00.000+02:00

there's this person, who i can talk to as much as the day would let me...fight over funny stuffs...and share my life stories to...

a person whom i never think twice to disturb...
tok tok tok! yana ketok pintu...
"jangan kacau ona ngan ami kat dalam tu!" toknde marah..
"allaaa...nak cakap ngan ona!" yana terus ketok...
"kejap2...ape dia?"...ona pon bukak pintu...hehe

by the pool kat rumah lame umi nita...:D

yana da tak ingat da kenape yana suke sangat kacau ona dulu...
anyway, skarang da susah nak kacau...duduk jauh sangat...kalau tak...siyes rase nak pegi ambush rumah ona tonight...hehe

and also, she taught me this song:

hehe...ona ingt lagi x?...nanti yana ajar aina nyanyi jugak...:D
n she's a sunshine in your life too now...

ona kate ona ske tgk aina senyum camnie...hehe...kene make sure x de gigi rongak la...:p

anyway...just wanna say:
selamat hari jadi ona!...
sweet 42...eh silap2...sweet 18!...haha
semoga kehidupan ona bahagia dunia akhirat!
nak kacau tadi...x angkat phone plak...hehe...
have a nice birthday!!!
miss you aaaaalllllll the time...
*kem salam kat ur officemates...hee~

marsupialization

2011-05-12T06:35:00.000+02:00

have you ever heard of that word?
yesterday in dr mahmood salem's class, he described about ovarian tumor.
one of the complications of an ovarian cyst or tumor is infection...
if the infected stuff adheres to the colon, it would be very difficult to remove it as the colon contains feces...(incase you accidentally cut the colon, the feces will spill all around the peritoneum...no no!)
so what surgeons would do is...marsupialization.

Marsupialization is the surgical technique of cutting a slit into a cyst and suturing the edges of the slit to form a continuous surface from the exterior to the interior of the cyst. Sutured in this fashion, the cyst remains open and can drain freely. This technique is used to treat a cyst when a single draining would not be effective and complete removal of the surrounding structure would not be desirable.
-from prof wikipedia

and in dr adel farouk's class yesterday's afternoon, he also mentioned marsupialization in treatment of bartholin's duct cyst

plus, dr adel added...marsupialization came from a latin word 'marsupial', which means pouch...
'zai kongga!"...
konnga?...wut's kongga?...
i googled it up...and found out it is a kangaroo...hehe...

and my search also led me to this very beautiful video...

subhanallah...can you imagine an embryo climbing up it's mother's belly?...like an actual embryo!...it's a fetus already if am not mistaken...but seriously...pinkish and almost lucent...
this world is magnificent!

why havn't i knew this information before?...god i can't believe it!
adeeq, if ever you are reading this...owh, please bring me back a kangaroo!...:D
*i'll make sure u'll read it anyway...hehe

natural is the best...

2011-05-11T17:01:00.000+02:00

i must say, since i've been living in egypt these almost past 5 years, there's never a year past without me inflicted with a GIT upset...(tibe2 rase malu lak nk cakap sal topic nie...:p)

but anyway, what i really wanna forward here is the miracle of these stuffs...

marmariyah + kammoon + na3na3 (no. 3 represent letter 'ain in writing)
p/s: am not sure if these names are exactly correct, i spelled it out from my landlord's articulation...

owh, i dun remember if i've ever mentioned this before, but i've been very fortunate to have such a caring landlord...their whole family treated us like their own children...ustazah maha n ustaz moataz

every week i'll drop by her house as she teaches me how to recite the quran...and this week i came along with my upset stomach...and she began to question me (frankly, better than 'the doctor' taking my history)

bla bla bla...and i answered...bla bla bla...and she asked..."have you seen a doctor?"
"yup, they gave me panadol for my fever and antibiotic."
eih??? (what???) no no no, you need to drink something hot! ana haa'mil wahdah! (i'll make one!)
and she went into her kitchen

few minutes later, she came back with a cup of yellowish colored fluid...it perfumed the whole room...smells nice, but i still doubt the taste...

"take it while it's hot! this is good for stomachaches! or flu...or anything!" she instructed me

"hurm...fi sukkar?" (is there sugar in it?)

"aaa... aiyuwah fi, ana 'arif enti bihibbi sukkar!"...hehe (aaa...yup, i know you love sugar!)

"eih di?" (wut are these?) i asked, pointing at the cup

"dol?...marmariyah we kammoon we na3na3...ahsan min antibiotic!" (these are....---....they are better than antibiotic!)

(dis one i made at home...look how beautiful that flower like thing suspended in mid water...:D)

i took a sip...not bad...it tasted different but nice...herbal like~

"el marmariyah di min el arisyh, sahbiti tigibli!" (this marmariyah came from el arisyh, my friend brought it for me!")

ooo...i dunno what to reply next, basically because i lack of egyptians vocab...but...wow! from somewhere near Palestine?...kind of an honor isn't it?...
wish i'll have a chance to step foot there once...(dreaming~)
*i've been to el arisyh in july 2007...but just as far as 5 km i guess away from Gaza's borders...and then our bus drivers were hushed away by the guards...they were soldiers i guess, but i still regard them as guards...i mean...soldiers are people we look up to...not look down at...

anyway, after class...ustazah maha packed a plastic of those stuffs for me

"di...wahid ma'la'ah soghir ma'a kuub mayyah sukhna fi sobah, masyi?"
(this, one teaspoon in one cup of hot water in the morning, ok?)
she prescribed to me with her hand gestures to make sure i understood...hehe

and alhamdulillah, the abdominal pain went away~...:D
unfortunately, i still don't know which food i ate wrong...huhu
el marmariyah we kammoon di, ma araftusy eih...(the marmariyah and kammoon, i dunno what it is)
walakin na3na3 is mint leaves...:)

*dr's hesham's party was marvelous!

cower behind his effort

2011-05-05T20:00:00.000+02:00

as i stood up from the floor in dr hesham's final revision lecture this morning (the lecture hall was almost packed), farhana patted me and said

"May Allah bless dr hesham!...seriously!"...i smiled and added "Yup! he deserves better than bless!"

Dr Hesham with Rana not me...just after his lecture this morning...:D

(thanx for allowing me to post your picture Rana!)

since early november if am not mistaken, Dr Hesham has been giving us (5th year Qasr el Ainy students) revision pediatrics lecture ...every teusday and thursday at 6.45 a.m. in the morning...yup, that early!...as that was the only time either one of us was free...honestly speaking, i only ever get to beat dr hesham once or twice before his lecture...he was always on time...and towards the second semester, we added another 2 hours in wednesday from 2-4 p.m....

and there was once dr hesham did a straight 4 hr revision for slides just before our peadiatric end round exam, wow!...he was standing the whole 4 hours!

his efforts mesmerized me... it showed me that, being great doesn't come by chance, i cower behind the effort that he's shown...how he worked hard to come as early as 6.45 in the morning and sometimes end his lecture from the groans of students who thought their brain were about to explode from the amount of informations he gave ( i mean to convey that even at his age, he didn't seem to know the meaning of tired compared to us 'syabab') ...no wonder he is a professor...and not only that he is concern in giving us knowledge, dr hesham also taught us about being a good doctor...

his lecture today ended with slides about:-

Qualities of a good Doctor

sense of responsibility

compassion and empathy

professionalism

fount of knowledge

humility

clinical acumen and judgement

communication skills

a good doctor is more than academic excellence, it involves right attitude, aptitude, character, commitment, demeanor and heart of service

- Dr Mohamed Hesham Sayed

*May Allah bless you for your efforts and sincerity more than you deserve...thank you dr.!

* grateful to be given the chance in meeting such awesome people...it is very rare to find such professors willing to give out free lectures as early as dawn and hardworking friends who boost your spirit to search for knowledge...and i found them here in my school, Qasr el Ainy Faculty of Medicine.

her gentle clutch

2011-04-30T17:19:00.001+02:00

remember in my last post i said it was a blissfully happy wednesday?

apart from making me interested to look up for bruce springsteen...dr hossam also said a couple of words about shoulder dystocia...when he asked us for the management, i was completely clueless...(hmm...x bace lagi la nie...i tot to myself)

that evening, i decided to drop by the delivery room...after observing two c-sect, i decided to call it a day...but as i just took a step out, a woman was wheeled into a normal vaginal delivery room...hurm...just one normal delivery wouldn't hurt...i havn't seen one yet today...so i stood by her...

it was only me, the dr conducting the delivery and a nurse with the patient...the dr smiled and gave me a thumbs up...hehe
we waited...i asked if i could feel the uterine contractions..."try and put your hand on her fundus!" he instructed me...and we waited...

the baby's head seems so reluctant to come out...the peadiatrician came by us, asking how's the patient's progression...
"ma ti'la'eesyh!...di halet IUFD" the obstetrician replied... (dun worry! this is an intrauterine fetal death case)

huh?...okay, that surprised me...i didn't expect that...this will certainly end sadly in whatever way...
but even sadder...the labor seemed to be obstructed...huhu, the dr conducting the delivery called for help...and dr hossam came in...i was pushed aside as many more drs, nurses and anesthetist came in...
"i think it's a shoulder dystocia!"...i heard one of the dr said...

shoulder dystocia (click)

and frankly, so sorry on behalf of the patient, but i felt so lucky to get the chance witnessing dr hossam did every step he explained in management of shoulder dystocia that morning (of course except symphisiotomy)...since the baby had already passed away, they were concentrating more in shortening the duration of delivery for the sake of the mother...

when the baby was out, dr hossam rushed to a theater for another c-sect...and was followed by the crowd who came in to see before, one of the dr who was holding the patient's hand called me, "hold her hand please, i need to go"...so i was left standing beside the patient and the first obstetrician who's suturing her episiotomy...

when the suturing was done, i tried to remove my hand...but the patient strengthen her clutch...her attempt was so weak, i could've easily slip my hand away...but i couldn't bring my heart to do so...she looked so dehydrated and pale...to kill the tension and quietness, i tried making small talks to her...

how old are you?
20
20?...am 22... (and already she's gone through this kind of pain...i added to myself)
how was it?
it's good, u've done great! (i assumed she's asking about the episiotomy as she was half awake already towards the end of the suturing and screamed with every prickle of the needle)
did he put him in the incubator?

it struck me...i was clueless...i couldn't say a word, but i managed not to trickle my tears...
her gentle clutch held my hand till the staff came in to take her to her ward...

that day reminded me of my mom so much...despite all our busyness in studying, we should never forget to pray for the one who sacrificed her life to ensure we live in this hectic world...

miss you mama! and ayah too, u took the share when u let mama clutch your hands...hehe
*may Allah reserve a place for you...am so grateful to be blessed with splendid parents...:D

no wonder...am in the 20th century!

2011-04-28T20:02:00.000+02:00

i love music...like candy for ears...halwa telinga...(betul ke?)...hehe
but some are just...emm, what can i say...that's why am living in the 20th century!...hehe
i wanted to jot down about how i ended up to "actually" listen to this-

brother under the bridge - bruce springsteen
*sorry, the vid can't be embedded

hehe, did u enjoy it?...wokay...wut happen was...
on that blissfully happy wednesday, dr hossam (not the head of department) described the obstetric slides to us...and in one of the slides, he asked us about the anatomy of pelvic part of the ureter...of course, i was simply miming back every single word he said...(gosh, how much i've forgotten!)...

and as the ureter reached the ischial spine and curves forward and medially to enter the posterosuperior angle of the urinary bladder, he asked aloud.."it passes above or below the uterine artery?"
"ermm...above?" (i was sitting infront so i guess he heard my almost inaudible utter...erk..)
"nope...below...water under the bridge!...ne..ne...ne...under the bridge" dr hossam hummed and continued.."under the bridge? bruce springsteen? owh, never mind~"

haha...among all those valuable teachings he taught us that day...this one stuck in my head so strong till i eventually googled up and youtubed the song (are there such verbs...haha...20th century vocabs)...which, am sorry to say...not my taste...huhu...too bad...

learning is extremely fun!...especially, when u get to see people's reaction to new informations...
when i asked fizah to listen to that song she was...ahaa...nodding her head with an almost fused eyebrows...haha...

under tension!!!

2011-04-21T19:23:00.000+02:00

usually, i'll go through Egypt's unbelievable traffic absentmindedly...

but today, it just got on my nerve...

and i got home and sleep myself to calmness...hmm... :)

i've talked about traffic last year once (ironically it was in april too)

feeling tense, it reminded me of a discussion i had with a group of friends and Dr Maha Mosaad just after her lecture about hypertension in pregnancy... how stress is somewhat essential for human being maturation...

a friend of mine (Noha...i've known 3 egyptians with this name already...hehe) was asking about the maturation of fetal lung in hypertensive mothers...

and Dr. Maha gave us a question...

you have three pregnant mothers, one is diabetic, one is normal and the other is hypertensive. which fetus will get lung maturation first?

*a diabetic mother will give enormous amount of blood more than usual and the baby usually ends up huge.

*a hypertensive mother will give less (the baby'll be growth restricted)

we answered; the normal mother...

"nope!...it's the hypertensive very limitedly supplied fetus that will maturate first"...everyone gave Dr Maha a quizzical look...

"bussi, (look)...if you look at the children in the streets, fighting for their survival...get very little to eat, very few attention from their parents and have to work for their family...they get matured faster right? they can survive without their parents...and seldom fell sick even though they eat contaminated foods, right?

but if you look at those pampered by their family, getting everything they desire...they can't survive on their own...

just like this fetus of hypertensive mother, he gets very limited nutrients and oxygen...so he has to fight for his life!"

"even though he's still in her womb?" Noha asked back

"even though he's still in her womb! , but of course there are scientific explanation for this...when you are under stress, you body will secrete more corticosteroid (a hormone for stress) that helps you cope the stress. and what do we give to stimulate fetal lung maturation?"

"corticosteroid!"

"see!"

*the discussion went on to the different types of fetal growth restriction then...

it got me thinking, maybe i am in a process to maturate...hehe...but feeling tense is not a happy feeling...

and sleep really works! :D

each new understanding in medicine triggers my inner mind, i am so small compared to this huge wide universe...subhanallah!

*sorry for a lot of jargons...hehe, i've tried simplifying them as much as i could...and do correct me if am wrong!

happy birthday ayah!!!

2011-04-12T03:11:00.000+02:00

morning!...
another story about a thing that's extremely close to my daddy's heart...

my mum...:D

ever heard of a fairytale love stories...the ending is always...

"and they lived happily ever after~"

i dunno if i am actually in one...hehe, but my mom and dad surely love each other forever...
my dad told us how he first time met my mom one day after sahur...(which i pretty much think wasn't true...haha)

"i was walking down the street one day, and at the opposite site of the road i saw this exceptionally very beautiful girl...and i quickly bend my head down and said "subhanallah!""...

waa...honestly, we couldn't stop laughing that dawn!...(am sorry ayah if it was actually true...)
LOL...i could never forget my daddy's word...haha

and i know there couldn't be a better gift than having mama around with you...
maybe that's why you get ill on your birthday...so you get to take mc n be at home with mama...hihi

get well soon...don't let the temperature rise too high k!...and,
happy birthday ayah!
love and miss you always~

"may Allah bless you and mama forever and reserve a place for both of you in Jannah for all the great and wonderful things you have done...amin!"

2nd day~...my dad..

2011-04-11T20:05:00.000+02:00

of all the things i can never forget about my dad...the one i always keep remembering are his way of teaching us...

and the one i appreciate most but seldom practice...is thinking!

hehe...ever since i was small, ayah always give me a chance to figure out things myself...
he always let me decide which one i prefer, which color i should choose, what food i would like...
he'll guide me of course, and pull me out if i chose wrong...but even if i did, he'd rather me to think myself out of my problems than come running to him for help...

ayah is more of a risk taker compared to mama...which is why sometimes, i feel safe to ask permission from my mother...but if i wanted to do something risky...i'll go ask my dad...hehe

and in order for us to practice this decision making daily, we (my brothers and i) were to match him in the game of...

yup!...chess!
haha
honestly, i am willing to do anything for ayah rather than playing chess with him...coz i know i'll end up loosing...(even after he promised to let me win)
"that was an obvious mistake...i've given you so many chances!" (ayah would say at the end of a match where my face was so sulky...hehe)

after almost 10 times or more i guess loosing, i learnt my lesson...=(
so sorry i haven't played chess with u for almost 5 years now...huhu...
i just cannot comprehend the attacking part...defensing is an acceptable move...but it's no good if your opponent keep attacking you...your defense will fall eventually~...and i really hate loosing...

and adeeq is lucky enough he's so good in chess...
(to me, maybe chess is a boy stuff...conquering areas, planning to attack the castle, redeeming a lost pawn...i dun even have the heart to kick a pawn out of the board...hihi...alasan...)
but the good part about chess is that we anticipate ten steps ahead for each of our moves (do we?..dat's what ayah always told us)...which took me maybe more than half an hour...i can never play with the timer...

but dun worry ayah, it's not just chess...i don't fancy any competitive matches if i could avoid it...
for you, i'll master the opening by heart before i match you...but i left that book at home...hee

and frankly speaking, you helped me a lot to make right choices...and i feel blessed and so lucky to have you as my dad!

thank you ayah!

*i know i've posted this song last year...but i couldn't find a better one to convey its meaning...
for you ayah!

being busy?

2011-04-10T18:05:00.000+02:00

studying does consume a lot of our time...
i love to write but i seldom find time for it these couple of days...

day dreaming...am imagining myself in a working state...phew~~~

apart from almost 24/7 being in the hospital (insyaAllah)
would i find time for family gatherings...hanging out with friends...wayang?...

but it really does surprise me how my dad did it...
he usually wake us up early and force us out of bed to solat subuh together...send us to school after breakfast...go to work...then he'd pick us up in the afternoon for lunch...go home for us to change uniforms...then back to skolah agama...then in the evening pick us up...cook dinner...(or reheat...hehe)...taking care of us...in almost my whole primary school...
and...he still did find time to do 'researches' in his lab...hanging out with us...talking, giving advices...and sometimes even pick my mum up from work...(if my mum car's at the workshop i guess)...
we even went out to the movies once in a while...
i remembered that u even get a chance to enter a cooking competition with mama...hehe...
not a surprise result though since ayah had a lot of training to cook for us...but mama's cooking is always good!

not that mama is not around...but she used to work far those time...and trust me, how i enjoyed weekends meal cause mama'll cook...:D...and they are usually special!

come to think of it...that's amazing ayah!...
all i think about after a day in class is my bed...LOL...
you are a super dad...you really do deserve a retirement...
just another one in a half year insyaAllah...pray for me n adek2...

hehe...miss chit-chatting with you ayah!

love you ayah~

3 days about Ayah...starts today...

happy birthday mama!!!

2011-04-01T14:10:00.000+02:00

For all the things I didn't say,

About how I felt along the way--

For the love you gave and all that you've done,

Here's your daughter's appreciation upfront.

You cared for me as a little tot,

When all I did was cry a lot,

And as I grew your work did too--

I ran and fell and got black and blue.

I grew some more and it didn't stop;

Now you had to become a cop,

To worry about mistakes I'd make;

You kept me in line for my own sake.

I got older, and the story repeated;

You were always there whenever I needed.

You guided me and wished me the best,

I became wiser and knew I was blessed.

So, for all the times I didn't say,

The love I felt for you each day,

Mom, read this so you can always see

Just how much you mean to me.

a picture taken by ayah

Happy Birthday mama!

i can't believe u are half a century already...waa..
you have gone through so much already...
now honeymoon years with ayah...
but you will always look 25 ma...hehe

hope today was unexceptionally fun to u~

*toknde said, u r her only child that she ever remembered the birthday...hehe (oopss...anak2 toknde yg laen jgn jeles...hehe)

mama and ayah in sunway

*living independently is so not that fun...huhu...missing you two~

it's TOMORROW!!!

2011-03-31T14:28:00.000+02:00

i hope u love this year's March mama...

but keep in mind it's never just a month...it's always and forever...hehe

it got me thinking after 3 years in egypt and i never had the chance to celebrate your important day that i need to do something...so i took the liberty of establishing your month in my calender...

and living here with friends 24/7 makes me realize and see how much effort it has taken for you to take care of us...coz earnestly i already got headache by taking care of 'only' my ownself...how did you do it mama?

this year is about all the moments i realized how you made me move...let's see what nex year brings...

(ayah said you love yellow roses...hehe...am your butterfly...hihi, prasan~)

Happy Mama's Month Mama!!!

2 days to go~

2011-03-30T15:56:00.000+02:00

one last story for this year's my mama's month...

this is about a moment i started my life independently (not thoroughly of course....hehe...still depending on my parents...adeh~)

my dad sent me to boarding school in his hometown...the peaceful and beautiful Kuala Terengganu...
i still can remember how reluctant i was to go there...so far away from my mom and dad...and i have to stay in a hostel...and i was only 13 at that time...but i made a promise...so we went...

we came on saturday...once we reached the school, my mum helped me register at the hostel, and helped me unpack...book my bed and locker...put in my clothes and toiletries...check out the bathroom for me...and even pick out which row i should put my books into...hehe

while at the same time, teaching me tips how to wash my clothes, when to do laundry, when to sweep the floor, how to make sure my lockers are clean, how to keep them always locked, where to store the key, when to make my bed and so on...

then, she put on the bed sheets, sweep the whole dorm's floor and asked me to go down for lunch at the DM (dewan makan)
"pegilah makan kat sane, mama tunggu dalam bilik"

once i got back upstairs, i told her about my meal...i got a whole fish all to my own...hehe...(at home we usually share parts of fish, we don't put a whole fish from head to tail into our plates)
"okay la makanan sedap...x de la teruk sangat duduk asrama~" she said...

by evening, my dad came...
"okay, mama balik dulu ngan ayah...esok pagi mama datang balik for school registration."
so they went~

a place i love to go out to...we use to say a place we 'fly' to...hehe

by night, i felt so awkward there...honestly, i couldn't understand what my colleagues were happily chatting about (Terengganu have a different dialect)...they're probably telling the stories of their holidays...and suddenly came a girl (her name's zetty) and thank God she can articulate understandable words...haha

she introduced me to the other girls...
and we get to know each other...
one of them asked..."mu wak kaen sahan dok?"
"huh???"...i looked at zetty perplexed...
she smiled and translated "dia tanye...awak ade bawak kain basahan tak?...kain batik, kain batik..." showing me hers
"ooo...x de...x penah pakai pon...kene ade ea?"

and so i quickly phoned my mum for a kain batik...and she came to our hostel that night with two...hehe

next morning, i went to class with my dorm-mates...while looking around unfamiliarly, my mom and dad came...
"alright, ayah da registerkan kaklong masuk kelas 2 Taubah...jom cari..."
it was just next door...

"hmm...tempat jemur baju dy yang kat blakang tu jauh sngt, kaklong jemur kat depan dorm tu je ea?...kantin dy kat mane?...dia ade kedai ntuk beli toiletries dekat2 sini tak, nanti dy nak kluar macamane?..." my mum asked my dad

"haih...biarla dy cari sendiri...nanati dy fly pegi UK takkan edah nak checkkan rumah dy, university dy, kedai mane sume..." my dad replied...

"hmm..." my mum smiled..."x de la..." but she didn't continue

hehehe
thank you for being so concerned mama!...don't worry...am safe here...=)

'Ya Allah, please take care of my mama the way she has and is and will carefully take care of us...give her everything she wants and that is good for her the way she has always give whatever we asked for and love her the way she loves us"

love you mama!
happy mama's month...2 days to go~

something i would very much like to have there...huhu, aritu balik x singgah terengganu pon...x pe, there's always next time...:D

countdown starts today~

2011-03-29T16:56:00.000+02:00

3 days to go~

ya Allah...

be kind to my mother as how she has been kind to us and help her through in this momentary world and in the forever Hereafter...

when am ill

2011-03-28T15:24:00.000+02:00

there was this once time, i got very happy being ill...hehe
as i said, mama and ayah was a bit busy while we were in primary...
and one unfortunate day, my brother an i fell sick...spiking temperature...i couldn't even lift my eyelid...(exaggerated giler...hehe)

and that night mama came and put her palm on our forehead and said...
"macamane boley demam nie?"
and she took care of us i suppose the whole night though she just came back from work...
(i was asleep the whole time but i could hear her voices)

but actually, there were countless of times mama took care of us when we were sick...
just last two years i got home for summer and had this very unpleasant dental surgery...mama had to cook a whole different meal for me as i was only able to swallow...

and many more...

will i be able to take good care of my mother?

once mama got a cut on her finger while she was doing her glass painting...i bet it hurt her so much...but i didn't go and ran for her immediately that time, thinking it was just a small cut and i was busy doing something very unimportant...huhu...sorry mama...i really do care, i've been thinking about that cut you had ever since...and especially when you attended me even with a minor scratch while doing the dishes...

it got me thinking...that am still not up to the task...but i should have...
and i am and will try and get ready forever~
i'll always take care of you...love you loads mama
happy mama's month~

*finally get to get involve with the egyptian's event in U...good luck all candidates...i've voted...and does anyone knows when will the result be out?

exam mode

2011-03-26T15:43:00.000+02:00

i just finished the surgery osce...
how do i felt about it?...indifferent~

as i was talking with my friends waiting for my turn in the clinical exam
(and seriously, this is the only exam i ever get to discuss my findings with friends...LOL...a worth it 3 hr wait...in a sense~)
they shared some stories how their mother made them move...
the one that caught my interest was her mom will read surah al insyirah with her hands on their heads before they go to exams...(so sweet bhah!)

my mom?
i know she prays a lot!
or i wouldn't be here now...
everytime my exam is around the corner she'd remind me to solat hajat and baca yassin...

and eventhough i knew she'd ask me to do the same thing, i'll still ask her for advice anyway...
it's just that i miss being asked to do something for her ever since living abroad...

thnx for praying for me mama!
*alhamdulillah i never failed an exam b4 except for my driving test (i've got my driving license already btw)...and i know no matter how hard i try, i won't be able to do so if Allah doesn't permits it...and being good to our mom and dad is what makes Allah happy~

OnG starts tomorow!...already???...huhu

my first time being curious about...

2011-03-24T13:55:00.000+02:00

how i was born...

the first time i ever think about it was when my aunt bariah was delivering my first cousin on my mother's side.
it was the first time i ever heard that human get pregnant...i think...
so, all of us went to the hospital to congratulate her... and look at the handsome fair baby with a mole on his right chin (right kn bazli?)

at her bedside, mama said to me:
"haa, kaklong tgk perut aunty bariah tu, da hilang...dulu kan besar...ap jadi?"
it got me thinking...
how did the baby got out???

and i asked every possible person who could recall the day i was born...

mama n a baby (not me ofcourse...)

ayah said, i came out very tiny...and mama crushed his hands while delivering me...ooppss...sorry mama!

atuk said mama ate a kilo of grapes while pregnant with me (no wonder i love fruits...hehe)

ona said i was talkative straight away...erk...shhh...haha

but i haven't asked mama yet...

how was i born through her eyes?

i thought of this topic as umi nita just delivered rania (CONGRATULATIONS UMI!!!) and am about to enter round Obs n Gyn...

thnk you for giving birth to me mama! and got me thinkin about it~

the best mama in the world!

2011-03-22T14:16:00.000+02:00

first of all...happy mama's month!!!

i just wanna recall back the day where my brother(safwan) and i swore, in the middle of the night...that mama is THE BEST MAMA IN THE WORLD!!!...hehe

that night, mama came home with a gift for both of us...
a pair of school bag complete with its accessories of pencil case, wallet and a 'camel bank'...
we were extremely excited,
but mama wouldn't let us to bring em upstairs in case my other little brother (who was still in kindergarten at that time) would want it too...(as she brought home only two sets)

so, silently...both of us tiptoed down stairs in the middle of the night not to wake azfar up...and in the living room, safwan and i gleefully took out that school bag from its plastic case just to adore them...

"mama baikla...:D"
"the best mama in the world!"
"mama is the best mama in the world and we'll love her forever~~~"

and so on and so forth until we got so sleepy and climbed back upstairs...

*once i accidently wore that bag infront of azfar and he insist on having a bag like mine...x pasal2 kene marah ngan mama...hehe

thank you for being so thoughtful mama and took great care of our feelings...:D
love you!

*i've been googling around for an image of that bag but unfortunately, i think it's out of fashion now...huhu

*to mama, ayah and anyone who's reading this...please pray i can focus and study for surgery's theory exam this coming thursday and osce on saturday...the egyptian students keep telling me how easy it was...i need a pusher!

volcano...

2011-03-20T14:54:00.000+02:00

when we were in primary school,
did you guys ever get any projects to build up volcanoes or a 3D world?

*this isn't my project, i stoled it from google image...hhehe

i got that project once in my standard 5...
we were to build a 3D volcano from tissue, papers, starch, paints and some other stufss...(i totally forgot how the whole experiment works)
so i gave mama the list of stuffs i need to bring for science class the following week

those days, mama and ayah was so busy...so i didn't put my hopes high...
as the day arrived,
i woke up alone that dawn...usually mama and ayah would be upstairs, forcing us into the toilet to get ready for school, but i couldn't find a sign of them anywhere...

so i climbed down the stairs and heard voices in the kitchen...scrubbing my eyes with my knuckles to get a clearer image, i peaked into the kitchen and saw mama in front of the stove and ayah at the sink...

"hmm...apa lagi, dah 2 jam da ni... abang rase jadi tak?" my mum asked my dad while reading a piece of tiny paper...
"mama buat ape nie?" i asked
"tengah siapkan kanji (starch) untuk project science kaklong la..." my mum replied..

ooooh...huhu...i was so moved...never imagine mama would wake up just for the sake of a fake volcano...hehe

thanks a zillion mama!

kasut lagi...

2011-03-18T15:41:00.000+02:00

huhu, my house had some internet problem on the 16th...sorry mama...
i'll try my best continuing your month...
this year's are about specific times am so grateful u are around...

and once was early morning on my second day of primary school in malaysia...
do you remember that day ma?...

i remembered perfectly my first day, because i went to school alone...(skolah petang)
from my morning school (a skolah rendah agama) i took a van to a nursery. they took care of me there and then i took that van again to the evening school...alone...completely forgetting that my dad had told me that he'd pick me up...hehe
*ayah was panicked of course searching for me...but we found each other at that evening school...

after a tiring full day of school...i managed to bring back what looked like a survived war zone pair of school shoes... (cerita kasut lagi...hehe)...the purely white shoes was liked dipped into a chocolate fountain...

mama was of course surprised to see that...

if i remembered clearly, i quickly fell asleep after dinner that night...so exhausted! (haven't picked up the stamina of a day's worth of activities yet)

and morning comes...which gave me a very pleasant surprised instead...that chocolate-fountain-dipped shoes has turned purely white again!..wow!!!...

"waa...macamane bley jadi putih???"...i asked, amazed...
"ooh, mama basuh malam tadi, adek tolong jugak...gune nie"...said my little brother showing me the 'kapur kasut'...
"really???"...and we both looked at that shoes in full admiration...:D

hehe...thank you mama!...
i wonder at what time you woke up to whiten up that shoes...what will happen to me without you~
love you loadsss mama...:)

shoes pulak

2011-03-14T17:44:00.000+02:00

today's about another outfit story...hehe
i was 11 maybe...we (my mom, dad, sibs and i) were striping down our house from unused items...
while we were rummaging through the piles of boxes under the stairs, i found a bag of shoes...
and a pair of them were actually mine...
a pink lady-like shoe with flowers or checkerboard pattern decorated on it...(i dun remember its details)
this shoe was too small for me by then...
but it reminded me on how i got it before...

....
i was very small back then, and mama n ayah brought us to a shoe outlet...an "ADULT" shoe outlet...while mama was looking for a pair of shoes...i took interest in picking out one for me too...hehe

so, by the time my mom found her's, i asked for one too...
"tak boley...yang ni utk org besar..."
"laa...x pe la, da besar nnt yana bley pakai..."
"tak bley2...mama da lambat nie, jom..."
"alaa...yana nk jugak!!!"

and i kept on asking for it until at last, my mom brought me to the kids section...
unfortunately, there wasn't a single shoe for my age yet in that store...huhu
but i still kept on my tantrum asking for a shoe...
when finally, my mom bought me that pink shoe...
"hmm...nah...ingt nnt, umur yana 8 tahun baru muat nk pakai...simpan elok2!"
"ok!"...so happy...:D

....
at age 11, i look at that already small and never-yet-been-worn pink shoes...smiled...
"hmm...tak sempat nk pakai...lupe~"...said my mum and she threw it in the bin
*it's already decayed due to lack of use...

huhu...so sorry mama...
i seriously never forgot that shoe though i never get to wear it...
tibe2 rase nk quote ap yg adeeq cakap aritu:-
"isyh...susah la kalau dapat anak cam yana"...hehe

but thank you for putting up with me...:D
love you mama!

*lecture gyneacology td was so interesting...first time a lecturer end his lecture with syair...:D

the cute lil dress

2011-03-12T14:40:00.001+02:00

there was once,
we were about to take a trip...a very long journey...
mama n ayah prepared for weeks...or mayb months (i dun remember that quite clearly)

and one of the preparation was our outfit :D

mama sew out my dress...i remembered being so excited, being measured from head to toe every other day. and can't wait for that dress to finish...

it was a flowery chocolate orangy, with a cute girly colar and a huge bow ribbon at the back. the dress was just pass my knees. i wore it with white socks and shoes (dun remember what shoes...hehe)

it was towards christmas...and that dress was luckily done before the christmas celeb at my playschool. i told everyone at school my mom was sewing my dress herself...so, as the celebration was near, i purposely asked my teacher what kind of dress i should wear. she said i can wear the one my mom sewn...

"mama, esok ad christmas celebration, teacher suruh pakai baju yg mama jahit tu"
"eh, mane teacher yana tau pasal baju tu...pakai baju laen la"
"yana criter kat dy la...x boley...dy kate kene pakai baju tu jugak..."
"hmm...pakaila"
(the conversation was something like dat...hehe...one thing for sure, i wasn't "pelat" as far as i remembered)

and so, i got so excited getting to wear it!

though actually it was sewn for that long journey...
thanx ma for putting up n letting me wear it

*to be honest, i dun remember whether dis is my actual memory or it was told to me by u or ona...it was such a long time ago~
*lupe nk grab d pic at home...huhu

happy mama's month!

my mama's months!

2011-03-10T15:34:00.000+02:00

my mama months starts today...

i planned starting it on march 1st, but it's really difficult trying to figure out what to write about my mom when she's just in the next room...hehe

by the way, spending tyme around her is much more satisfactory rather than jotting...

hurm...i've been thinking this through a lot!...one think i know...i love my mom...unconditionally!

since i havn't prepared like i did last year...
i'll start with,
i wanna thanx my mom for making me feel soooo happy for a month of my unexpected winter holiday in malaysia!
(and of course for the past 22 years...but i wanna make some specifics here)

first thing, she picked me up from the airport...
allowing me to hang out with my grandma the very next day... (which i doubt not every mother would allow after tormenting worries for the past fortnight)
letting me and adeeq go out uncontrollably...hehe...i missed my times with him a lot now and i bet u do more...
giving me a netbook...luckily u'r the one deciding which green...:D
teaching me healthy delicious cookings... (i'll try to practice it though i much prefer hazardous ones...hehe)
*especially the sup ketam...:D
paying for my stuffs to bring back here...
smiling...
loving me...

and so much more, which i can only flash it through my mind but very difficult to put into words...

have a wonderful mother's month mama!
(specific for my mom...sorry i can't let u guys share it...)
my mama's month!

student malaysia mesir: I felt it for the second time!!!

2011-03-01T17:23:00.000+02:00

sorry for the long title...hehe

just got back from ampang pecah...and guess what?...i can't deny it was fun!!!

anyway, i'll keep ampang pecah's story for next time...today i wanna talk about...peace.

have you ever thought once in your life that you are living in a peaceful setting, nothing to be worried or stressed about, as though it feels momentarily like u are in paradise already?

well...i got that moment once. a moment i realized that i was not worried.
that moment was when i experienced the evacuation process to malaysia.
where almost all the malaysian student in egypt were once compiled in a place called madinatul hujjaj in jeddah.

at first i was just excited by the fact that it was easy to meet people there...(friends who u need to travel with all kind of transport first to see them in egypt) in those few days, they're just next door or next building. (especially ones with babies...hehe)

but then i realized, even though everybody was complaining about being accidently 'held captive'...no one was cautions. people literally trust their stuff to unknown people...i see people charging their laptops, phones and all sorts of electronic gadgets in block B ground floor unattended. they plug in the charger and left coming back only after it was full or mayb until they suddenly remembered....hehe

i actually left dollars on my bed and it wasn't even moved. (my dorm was filled with almost 30 people and only 4-6 of them i knew very well)

that time i felt glad to be with such acquaintance. grateful that Allah let me feel what it's like to live in a trust-able community.

and guess what?.. these two days, i felt it again at ampang pecah! where all of the people there were malaysian student in Egypt. i hardly knew anyone in my dorm yesterday, and today we're good friends already.

we have this activity where we give "penghargaan" to our friends...i was thinking of giving one at first, but they were limited...huhu...

so here, i'd like to give "penghargaan" to all malaysian student in Egypt for creating this wonderfully calm and peaceful community where we support each other through every thick and thin! where everyone whether they are your very best buddies or you just knew them a second ago is trust-able. that care for everyone not just their friends and always ever so helpful...thank you so much everybody!!! may Allah reserve a place for each one of you in Jannah.

when i told my family in malaysia about this experience, they advice me to be careful...student's life, everyone is pure...but once you start working, you'll never know what people might do to obtain their wicked dreams...as they do not believe in one God and the hereafter. so be caution to whom you put your trust in! (this is what i've been told)

i miss this community! really!!!
and, i very much like to let others feel what it's like to never be worried being robbed or out of money. having people to share your sadness instead just your happiness...hopefully Malaysia will be that dream country and i would very much like to be a part of that community!

*i dunno if others got the opposite experience, but this is what i felt like so far staying with malaysian student in Egypt.

-hopefully my friday won't b so disastrous...huhuhu

different

2011-02-22T08:35:00.000+02:00

just feeling it's different without u here boy!

have fun there!

i meant to put this in the book i gave u but...anyway, kalau rajin...print it out n stick it in that book k...

*dreading the day to fly back to my 'other world'...miss everyone there a lot!!!! but here is nice too~

moving to a better place?

2011-02-14T20:36:00.001+02:00

solla alaikallah...
(marking the maulidurrasul)

i'd like to share what i got from what i've gone through these past couple of weeks...
i don't usually involve my already messed up mind with politic talks...but Egypt's politic crisis seems to be affecting me now...i know it's a difficult time for most of us...but it blossoms out wonderful reminders...

i never dream of coming back home for this winter holiday starting last december (after failing to persuade my parents) but Allah has His better plans...:D

who would imagine by Mubarak being stubborn enough to hold on to his "throne" despite the protest throughout his country secure us free seats back to MALAYSIA!!! thanx to every single entity who had worked out to ensure our safety...May Allah bless you for resting our love ones mind from worries...:D

so, by the day they asked us to evacuate our cosy home in mounira to be safe in DMAK (or ARMA a better known name for us- the Malaysian Hall), i've set my mind to pack for just 4-5 days in Abbasiyyah. not comprehending the massiveness of the problem i was in...and suddenly i was flown to Jeddah in 5 days and to KL in another 4 days...we were informed that only 7 kgs of stuffs were allowed to bring along with us to Jeddah...7kg including our hand luggage...and mind you, the weighing conditions are very strict! (skemanyer kitorg mase tu...hehe)

at that moment, i literally felt like my heart was shredded into tiny pieces...can you imagine leaving all your belongings?...not knowing when we will come back to rescue them?

so melodramatic...hehe

i was really confused with what i should bring back along with me...if i could, i wanna ship back every single thing in my room (yup, including my furnitures!)...

with very limited time to pack and my friends in the Malaysian Hall so worried that we went back home to fetch our "important things"...i decided to grab stuff randomly...(owh i miss my blanket....)

in the bus on feb 4th, as we headed towards the airport "lounge", it occurred to me...

it must've been more difficult for the Muhajireens in Makkah to go out and hijrah to Madinah,
apart from leaving ALL their belongings, they were actually born in Makkah and Makkah is their hometown...
but me...i've only been staying in Egypt for 4 and half years, and was allowed to bring back at least 7 kg of my stuff with me...

now i appreciate the value of the Muhajireens sacrifices to help our beloved Prophet and ensure that Islam spread throughout this world.
and i realized that i might not be able to go through their obstacle...
and i understood now why it is a HUGE matter that they've left ALL their belongings...(it was precisely recorded in the alQuran)
but am i actually moving to a better place?

a question popped out through my mind...how was it to our beloved Prophet at that time? leaving the place where he grew up, with his families, got married and drew up wonderful and meaningful memories... for us...

salam maulidurrasul...remember our Prophet always, He missed us even before we were born...who would love us that much???

*be good on me Malaysia! don't spoil me...hehe...
*ana misri...go go Egypt!

understanding

2011-01-23T21:48:00.001+02:00

today was very ironic...

i sat at the far most seat in the back line to the right of the crowded overspilled tutorial 'room'
excited!!! cause i know surgery will discuss anatomy...but,
never imagine i would be reminded strongly of 'ayah'

every time i complained it's difficult to memorize, ayah will say..."you have to understand first!...once u've understood, u'll never forget"

frankly speaking, i could never see this applicable before.
i used to reply..."yana dah faham...but i forgot the explanation...so i forget..."

and ayah will say..."that means you still haven't understood it yet!"

urghhh...(it feels frustrating...like some one doesn't get what i mean...hehe)

but today i see what "understanding" means...(thanx to prof moataz for his 'smile'...hehe)

simple questions like, "what is vein?"..."what is negative intrathoracic pressure?"...hehe
can never be "understood" by just reading the anatomy book once...
it needs effort by the neuronal connections of your brain to function tremendously...or so that is what i feel like...

damn...i really thought i 'know' anatomy *not by heart of course*...

which i understand why now...

and right now, i need to reread...hmmphh...hehe

thank God for opening my eyes...
owh i miss my daddy...

wind

2011-01-14T08:47:00.000+02:00

today is friday!

the wind~

after understanding this...any breeze caressing my face is extremely significant now!

"shakautu ila Waki` su’a hifdhi

wa arshada-ni an tark al-ma`asi

wa akhbara-ni bi anna ilman nur

wa nur Allah la yu`ta al-`as"

"The great Imam ash-Shafi’, he went to his teacher Waki`

Complaining about the weakness of his memory.

He told him, ‘abandon rebellion, for knowledge is a light

And the light of Allah is not bestowed upon a rebel.’"

*Talib alHabib - knowledge is the light

i'd like to invite all muslims to intentionally understand Quran...not just the translation superficially...but also it's meaning deeply...
a "mukjizat" that we can feel it for ourselves...

knowledge is the light...

not something easily obtained...so, be willing to work for it!
*thnx mama sbb slalu bebel suh yana rajin...hehe (skang menyesal jd malas)...n thnx bg pegi jalan!!!:D

jom bace kahfi on this bright sunny friday...:D

new year...new round~

2011-01-12T12:47:00.001+02:00

hmm...
a bit late to wish new year...but am still in the first month....(exam hiatus on writing...but not FBing...huhu)

first of all, a birthday wish for my youngest brother...turning 12...finally~
(time seems to past so slow for you)

Ahmad dokong Naufal...

i guess his wish for a splendid birthday present is another brother...siann tinggal sorg2 kat rumah...i'll come home if i can...honestly boy!...do cherish you primary school, coz secondary'll be way too different and not so cosy anymore...
*tp mama and ayah's gift seems really great! pleasant trip and don't forget an ole-ole for me k!

about the "another year.."
while reading "How to Examine a Child" in Lissauer, a description of child's thought process in that book triggered a memory of some 16 years ago (GOD!...I am OLD!!!...hehe)

i was in kindergarten,
that day, the ustazah was telling us all a story about Judgement Day...how everybody will be judge for the good and bad deeds and will finally end up either in Paradise or Hell...well, honestly speaking...i don't really remember what she told us...but i remembered what happened next very clearly...

usually after class and playtime, i will follow an ustazah to her house (sorry i dun remember her name, but i do remember where her house was) and my dad will pick me up at her house in the evening.

that day, while waiting for the ustazah in front of her office, i noticed on her door wrote
"TAHUN 1995"

TAHUN means year...i knew that...i am 6 years old...i was born in year 1989...hurm...
year 1995...ok, we've learned numbers few days ago...after this would be 1996...then 1997...1998, 1999...and then...HUH!

WHAT IS AFTER 1999???

i panicked...there is no more 'year' after 1999...what will happen next?...i quickly told this devastating finding to the one immediately next to me (a friend) and she said..."ha aa la...ape lepas 1999???"
even she doesn't know what is after 1999...
"dah qiamat???" i questioned...ooo god...just another 5 years to live...

so scared..i kept this so quiet till i forgot all about the "huge" devastating info....

hehe...little that i knew before that there's the number 2000 after 1999...
and when i knew it how relieved i was...and now am in 2011...welcome new year~

time flew by faster than an ultrasonic jet...so far it went away and to a place very unreachable...

next round...SURGERY... will i have the guts???

lesson from a cockraoch

2010-12-31T18:06:00.000+02:00

a very fancy way to end one of the most meaningful and pack year...

i woke up this morning, realizing a lesson...
given to me by a cockroach...

i have been working for 3 years to get rid of em...but they just won't go away...
and then i realize...no matter how hard we work for something, if He does not permit it...it wont work~
so at the start of term this year, i prayed...and promise to make sure things are clean so the cockroaches'll go away...
alhamdulillah they did...He kept His promise...

but this morning that tiny irritating guy came peeking into my kitchen again...what???
and i noticed...i haven't been keeping my promise...

bless the cockroaches~

:D
now i can appreciate its existance...LOL

have a nice happy new year everyone...
build up dreams and make em true!

*when you hope some people to do something, you must teach yourself to do it first
*depend on Allah in every huge and simple matters...
*beauty = arabic language

Alhamdulillah the ups and downs this year are nice to be treasured....i love 2010, and i hope 2011 will be much better and also treasure valuable lessons...:D

jom berazam!
do pray for our end of round peads exam...

zai titriddisi tib???

2010-12-20T22:07:00.000+02:00

language barrier is a challenging obstacle for us now...

a situation:

i was trying to take an antenatal history from a mother...
her 7 month old child has ventricular septal defect in his heart...so i asked

"lamma hamilti bi abdul rahman, kan yujad ayyi mushkelah?"
"when you were pregnant with abdul rahman, was there any problems?"
"aah...kan amilti....bla...bla bla..." i didnt get her...hehe

she explained...but i couldn't understand. so again and again until every mother in that ward tried to explain to me what happened during her pregnancy...
and they even explained stage by stage how a baby develop and how baby needs nutrition from the mother...(this is what i could understand)...but i still couldn't understand what was the problem...

and finally...a woman asked me -
"enti mush fahim eih elmushkelah?"
"you still couldn't understand what was the problem?"
"ma3alish...la'a"
"am sorry...nope"
"zai bititriddisi tib???...da hagah 3adi, kullu 'nas yufahim!"
"how could you be studying medicine???...this is a normal thing, everybody understands!"

erk...hehe
so i had to explain to them that i didn't understand ammiah thoroughly...and that is why am practicing talking with them

"rabbuna yusahhilik!" "rabbuna yuwaffakku!"...they said~

# the word i didn't understand is "hablu sul" or that was what i heard..."zai khartuum" they said as they explained what is hablu sul...hmm~...

#very lucky to see an achondroplasia case...my jaw dropped the moment i heard a supposed-to-be-6-month-old-baby talking..."3anduha khomsah sanah!"...huh?...and then i realized that her limbs were different~

-do study short stature, chest, heart and abdomen

Qolyubiyah

2010-12-15T15:42:00.000+02:00

i had the most wonderful opportunity to join a trip last 3rd Dec.

it was a three hour boat ride from ramses hotel

we reached a place called Qolyubiyah...

where we sat in the "Hadiqah" for tazkirah, games and eat...

then after zohor we ride "something" (i rode the horse-carriage) around the village....to the "shalalah"...LOL

and in the end...went home by boat accompanied by the beautiful sunset!

well,
my real intention was to tell about how i got invited into this trip...hehe

this trip was organized by the Arabic teaching center i join... n ust Mahmoud have told me about this trip since a month ago...but i just didn't think going for a trip is my idea of relaxing...

and finally, 3 days to the trip...ust Mahmoud gave me a "final tazkirah"...5 reason why i should join in...hehe...
i was laughing all the time...so i didn't catch all the five reasons...and mainly because ust was explaining to me in 'Arabic' -God!, when'll i get this language to settle in my tongue???-

but, one of his excuses caught my attention...

because you need to give yourself a rest!...working, studying, socializing everyday...all of this makes your heart/soul (qolb) tired, so once in a while...you have to get out of this routine...and there is the 3 most wonderful things that can give peace to your heart/soul...

1. the greenery

2. the blue water (well, it is very difficult to get the Nile river to be blue....)

3. the one that caught my ear...LOL...al weshu jamil (and ust sweeps his forefinger n thumb across his face)...au, soutul jamil...au...aiyee hagah jameel...

and our trip will provide you all this!

hehe...
and because of this reason...i decided to join...:)...fortunately!

peads are passing by me very fast...huhu...has anyone made the clock run faster?...it seems like it's running triple the usual rate i am used to...

arghhh!!!...am trying to be patient!!!

2010-12-08T19:49:00.000+02:00

i really like to share this invaluable understanding that clicked in my head yesterday...

it's not that i never knew it before, but i guess the circumstances made me understand this more...:)

i was discussing with ustazah Jihad about an Arabic conversation. a guy was explaining to his friend why does his aunt lives with him.

"my aunt had just gone through an unfortunate event, her husband and son died in an accident. that is why she's living with my family now, though this incidence could have affected her badly, she's a strong women, she didn't weep al the time and her face is always calm."

"ya liyana, as sobr feehi ithnain nau'an...fi sobr ma'a redho wa fi sobr ma'a sakhot"

"liyana, there are two types of patience, there is patience with acceptance and there is patience with discontent"

said ustazah Jihad once we went through the guy's explanation. and she added:

when you face a problem that upsets you, yes you could say..."am being patient"...but your face would not fake others if you are really upset. it will be expressed by your bad mood...everybody around you can tell by just looking at your face that something is wrong...but, a person who accepts what has destined for him when an unfortunate event befalls him, he would say "la haula wala quwwata illa billah" and smile.

and this is not easy ya liyana. not everybody can do it...that is why, we pray to Allah:

أَللَّهُم أَرْضَ عَنِّي رَضَاءً ﻻ سَخَطَ بَعْدَهُ أبَدًا

and yesterday i realize that i haven't been thoroughly patient before...

take what is good, correct me if am wrong

a wonderful day to start a new year...:D

food

2010-12-06T23:24:00.000+02:00

starting winter...my head is always occupied with what i would eat nex...LOL

each morning, i would already plan for tomorrow's breakfast...and here seeps all the memories of malaysian food...

laksam or roti canai for breakfast...owh, and we have a 'kedai mamak' that sells 100 types of roti canai in sek 13, my mum bought roti klcc once...LOL...or nasi lemak sambal sotong in PKNS...my favourite one...once in a while, hanging out with umi, yen, ona or ami for just a coffee and reading newspaper at weekends...ayah always have either oat or tuna with sandwich most of his breakfast (blood sugar control by mama...hehe)...or just bread and 'kaya'...owh we don't have 'kaya' here...

for heavy meals...we can simply buy at sek 8's...i love the fried talapia with sambal there or to ayam desa masuk kota's chicken rice at sek 11...mmm...it was there since i never know when, it's kind of remarkable to find it still at the same spot last summer...hehe...mee goreng, mee kari, laksa, keuh teow...hot plate...nyum3...sometimes i would be satisfied with just fried rice...or if we are so confused, just go to pasar malam for satay or kebab or murtaba' or anything

appetizers...hummm...i love all kuehs...just name it but my most favourite is toknde's karipap...hehe...or rojak...or...cekodok, jemput2, mmm....i love eating and it's stressing not being able to make one...

fruits,...manggis!!!....or rambutan or duku or cempedak or nangka or...betik which is the one of the fruits i havn't found it here yet...fruits are important to give you fiber...:D

after we've done the routine of appetizer, main dish and desert...of course we need a drink...mmm
fresh orange, sour sop, watermelon, mango juice, sugar cane...aaa...and chrysantymum tea...did anyone realize we don't have this here?...or simply sky juice...teh tarik mamak is the most wanted when you can't get it...but when i am living there...i never thought of trying this all out...hehe

now i see how valuable malaysian foods are

urm...i think that is only 25 % of what i experience myself...
eating is subconcious
but not here...

still, i should be grateful!

*what does food have to do with the new year?...well, food is the item that's been lingering around me since...but, for this new year, i would like to urge myself n anybody, to set new goals so that we can at least say we achieved something by the end of this year...

May Allah be with us all~
salam maal hijrah everybody!...hmm...what should i have for breakfast on thusrday???hehe

why chicken can't fly and turtle's shell aren't smooth

2010-11-27T21:18:00.000+02:00

i was walking home from school through my usual path...
though am living in Egypt's capital...Cairo, "in a sense", i still feel like am back in my grandma's village...hehe
because i get to see donkeys, horses and even chickens being taken care of lovingly by the citizen...(one of the uniqueness in Cairo)...

well, last two days as a flock of hen ran pass me...i remembered a cartoon story where a man screamed over his escaping livestocks..."catch that bird!!!"..and suddenly a memory of about 10 years ago flickered through my mind...

i was in primary, and my bro and i used to spend our holidays at grandma's...she usually needed to tuck us in to make sure we sleep at night...hehe...everything and every time was game to me before...and to make us stay still in bed, she'd tell us bed time stories...

one of them was..."adeeq, liyana...do you wanna hear about chicken and turtle?"... (my grandma speaks malay though)
yes!!!...and we quickly get under the blanket nex to her...and my grandma begins~

long...long...time ago, chicken can fly...that is why they look like birds...it is told that birds need a special gold on their wings so they can fly...at that time, chicken used to look like any other birds...flying pleasantly...whenever they come down for food, they will keep their gold safely...

turtle on the other hand, cannot fly...and he was so amazed by flying creatures...he so wanted to fly himself...so, one day...turtle braved himself and went to ask chicken the secret of their flying ability...chicken told turtle the truth...

"to fly, u need to have the gold with you!"
"where can i get this gold?"
"i can't tell you, it is only for birds!"
"owh...you look really good when you fly...it must've been amazing!...can you take me with you?"
"no! that's ridiculous...you are too heavy!"
"can i borrow your gold then?...i really wanna know what it feels like to fly..."
"hmm...but how will you wear the gold? you don't have wings..."
"i'll put it in my mouth!"
"u uh -shaking his head- it will fall down if you open your mouth"
"oh please please please please please chicken...i promise i'll keep it safe! by the way, you are always known for your beauty and generosity!"
"urm...ok then...just for one time since you seem so excited, but however amazed you are, never open your mouth!"
"i promise!"

so chicken lent turtle his gold and put it in turtle's mouth...immediately, turtle was able to fly...he went up...up...up...and up to the open sky higher than the top of the tallest tree...the view was so splendid...
"how is it up there?" asked chicken...
excited and eager to express himself, turtle quickly replied..."fantastic!!!"

but woopss...turtle opened his mouth as he speaks, and the gold was thrown out from his mouth onto the grounds...without the gold...turtle lost the support on air...thus he began to fall...down...down..down...and crush!!!...he cracked his shell into tiny diamond-shaped crease...

chicken - my gold!!!

turtle - sorry...huhu

chicken, realizing that his gold had be thrown down onto the ground quickly went looking for it...pecking every few feet of his ground...but he never found it...so they never flew since the day turtle lost their gold...till today, the chickens are still pecking the ground searching for it....

so that was one of the countless bedtime story my grandma told us...

i did not remember the story precisely, but that's how it goes if am not mistaken...:D
a memorable fairy tale...hehe...

inna ma3al 3usri, yusra...

2010-11-18T20:18:00.000+02:00

bismillah...

are you aware of your breathing? (provided that you have normal healthy lungs)
well, i would like to bring us all back to the minute we were born...obviously, nobody recalls that moment...but...did you know, that it was a difficult one?

in our mother's belly, we do not need our lungs to breath,
we simply take e-ve-ry-thing from our mother...namely, nutrients and oxygen...
so, definitely...the lungs we had before was different from what we have now...

our alveoli were collapsed, lined by thick cells...and the vessels were congested with blood as there were no particular blood flow within it...all the exchange of nutrients and disposal of waste products were managed by the placenta...

but once we are independent, this circulation needs to be changed...
oxygen have to come from our lungs,
nutrients from our intestines,
disposal of waste products through the kidneys...
every organs now holds a responsibility to make sure we can live...
we cannot depend on the placenta anymore...
and the most vital system to ensure we are alive at that moment is...
our respiratory system!

in that important moment, a baby have to learn how to breathe...he must expand all his collapsed and thick wall alveoli...push out all the congested blood in his lungs to make space for air...it is not an easy task...it needs effort!

but hey, after 21 years alive...(me)...no one even realize that they were breathing...
breathing becomes so easy that there is a quote saying
"as easy as breathing~"

our lung structure changes...the blood pressure in the lungs becomes low, the alveoli walls are thin and there are huge spaces for air to fill in...

sorry for the long introduction,
so...what does all this have to do with the title?

well, the title is actually a verse in the quran in surah ash Sharh, verse 5...which again is repeated in the next verse (verse 6)...
(bismillahirrahmanirrahim)
"fainna ma3al 3usri, yusra"
(verily, along with every hardship is relief)

i would love to convey to everyone reading this (especially myself) that...
don't be afraid to face hardship!

why?

#1
Allah has promised in that verse that along with every hardship there is relief...
if you read carefully here...the 'hardship' is a specific noun as it begins with an 'alif lam'...which means only one hardship... where else, the 'relief' is general noun thus it is countless...

#2
you've faced it!
at least once...(when you were born)...the difficulties of starting to breathe (as i have explained above)
you were brave in that moment...nobody knows how difficult it was for you,but now...do you realize how easy it is?

#3
if you prepare yourself for a difficult path and worked for it...you know that no matter what is the outcome, you'd never be disappointed... as the sweetness of a victory lies in the effort
*you cannot claim a victory (to yourself) if you knew you didn't worked for it
-we can't lie to ourselves, even if we do...we know it...this is what i believe...but,we can ignore-

so, be optimist...and don't be afraid!

that's all
take what is good, ignore what is bad...and do correct me if there are wrongs...:D
happy eid!

~love the food!

10 nights

2010-11-14T19:38:00.000+02:00

salam eid al-adha...

tomorrow will be arafah day...
and the best 10 nights are about to end...

just like to remind myself and everyone else, about how much good deeds we have done so far...there is still time to compensate if we lacked...

eid al adha in egypt is surely fun this year thanks specifically to
*khadijah and her mother's delicious dish!
*ustazah maha for willing to teach us how to make egyptian cuisine (derang tgh menuntut sekarang) and break our fast together
*gen6 babies...(they weren't around last yr...) -hani, ulfah and iman!
*my housemates...:D...love you gurls!
and most of all...
*all my friends!

*tadi terbaca berita jemaah haji malaysia yg meninggal dunia...ramainye...kite happy2 kat sini, tp ade org yg tgh sedih*

what made me rethink

2010-11-05T00:04:00.001+02:00

somewhere around January, 2010
i was in a meeting room

it was made compulsory to have a 'tazkirah' in a meeting...
i didn't bother much...i composed myself to focus...

remarkably, (not that it wasn't expected...but it caught my attention) the director himself gave the 'tazkirah' for that meeting...
he said he'd like to start with reading some verses in the Quran...

the first eleven verses of surah al Mu'minuun...he recited it and translated it and explained it to us...

in the eighth verse,

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

"Those who are faithfully true to their Amanat (all the duties which Allah has ordained, honesty, moral responsibility and trust etc.) and to their covenants (promises)."

he explained to us, that because of this verse...we were holding that meeting...we were given the responsibility (an Amanat) by the society to run an event...and as we have took this responsibility, we were to do it as best we could...

y?
because we are muslims.
*the explanation were longer...but long story cut short~

this struck me...
though i've heard of this before, but the meaning of "Amanat" or "covenant" never sunk in me deeply before...as it had on that meeting...

it made me recall all the responsibility i held:
a slave of Allah
a daughter of my parents
a sister to my brothers
a niece to my aunts and uncles
a granddaughter to my grandmother
a student in the path of Jihad
a friend
a house mate
a leader (at that time)...and many moresss
*not as much compared to those married and with kids...hee

have i fulfilled all my Amanat?...
i wasn't sure at that time...
i usually tend to ignore things that are sophisticated...and focus on the priorities...
here...i found out how much i've belittled what i should have forgone...

and in that split second...it made me vow: to try as much as i can to fulfill all my duties!
that moment made me rethink and reorganize my aims and intentions...

small, passable events, when we ponder through them...they usually store useful lessons...:D
so, that's what i wanna share today~
a reminder for me (da buat "vow" tuh!) and for those who read this...(sorry it's kind of boring)

writing

2010-10-25T19:13:00.001+02:00

have you ever felt like sharing...jz dat u dunno how to share it...i dunno if anyone understand what i feel...luck of course!...and really glad~~~

it's like this~

i jz finished the clinical exam of internal meds
it was fun (more than i expected)...i was dead terrified before that...so silly to feel so...
it's because~...
have u ever felt like u were destined with someone before u even know him thoroughly?...i mean on the first glance? (approximating eyebrows)

that's what i felt about the patient i had to examine today...
i've met him before on several occasions...i met a lot of other patients actually...
but it was different with him

in one of our clinical classes~
the dr asked us to examine him, i stood at bay...feeling like i've done this before, i'd jz wanna observe this time...my friends did the case and presented it...and they mentioned he had a palpable pulmonary pulse..."owh!...i've never felt dat before~" i said to myself...but i jz didn't get the chance to feel his pulse in that morning session as we need to rush to our lectures...so i kept in mind to see him after lecture. it felt like, this is "a-must-feel-pulse" kind of feeling~

sekadar gambar hiasan

so after lecture, i went to his ward but... he was with his family...:(... it'd be impolite to feel his pulmonary pulse at that time...thus, i saved it for the next day

nex day, i did remembered to go and see him (the curiosity didn't fade)...i grabbed a friend to accompany me and begged him to let me feel his pulmonary pulse (he really didn't gave me in easily)...and finally i managed to feel that wide volume pulse :D... and examine the rest of his heart ("literally")

and remarkably he end up as my clinical examination patient.
(helped me a lot though that little guy! - he corrected my apical comments before dr Ali came to question me)...glad~~~
*this is what we call professional patients

it's jz ironic...we've had a patient with crepitations once...which obviously i've never heard before and i was so damn curious how crepitations sounds like...i failed to put my stethoscope on him but the curiosity ended bluntly (with no attempts to find that patient and ask permission to listen to his crepitating lungs)...

comparing a crepitation to pulmonary pulsation...erm...
pulmonary pulsation felt like any other pulsation in the body that can be felt except that it's not normal to have it, but crepitations??? that's one rare thing (for me as a first yr in internal meds)...and mind, am still curious how exactly it sound like!...it's weird how i put that much effort to only feel a pulse~

but it was destined i guess...a very great luck!

revising myself

2010-10-15T07:57:00.000+02:00

this talk is so beautiful...
i felt so into it, i jz can't but share it...
*thnx panna for sharing this!

anatomy~

2010-10-12T17:23:00.000+02:00

i love anatomy...
a subject i can read n study n memorize with passion...(but dis really doesn't mean i knew it off by heart)

so, today i wanna share a piece of story, a history of how anatomy began...about the man who started our way of learning anatomy...Andreas Vesalius (click for his web)

_____________________________________
modern medicine began around the sixteenth century in the innovative minds of such people such as the anatomist Andreas Vesalius and the physiologist William Harvey. Andreas Vesalius (1514 - 1564) taught anatomy in Italy. in his time, cadaver dissection had resumed for the purpose of autopsies and gradually found its way into the training of medical student around Europe.

dissection was an unpleasant business, however, and most professors considered it beneath their dignity. in these days before refrigeration and embalming, the odor from the decaying cadaver was unbearable. dissection were conducted outdoors in a nonstop 4day race against decay. bleary medical student had to fight the urge to vomit, lest they incur the wrath of an overbearing professor. professors typically sat in an elevated chair, the cathedra, reading dryly from Galen or Aristotle while a lower-ranking barber-surgeon removed putrefying organs from the cadaver and held them up for the student to see. barbering and surgery were considered to be "kindred arts of the knife"; today's barber poles date from this era, their red and white stripes symbolizing blood and bandages.

Vesalius broke with tradition by coming down from the cathedra and doing the dissection himself. he was quick to point out that much anatomy in Galen's books was wrong, and he was the first to publish accurate illustrations for teaching anatomy.

when others began to plagiarize his illustrations, Vesalius published the first atlas of anatomy, De Humani Corporis Fabrica (On the Structure of the Human Body), in 1543. this book began a rich tradition of medical illustration that has been handed down to us through such milestones as Gray's Anatomy (1856) and the vividly illustrated atlases and textbooks of today.

copied from
Saladin Anatomy & Physiology
The Unity of Form and Function (Third Edition)

a wonderful history isn't it?
how ancient people used to study anatomy... without any refrigeration and stuff...my first yr experience of the anatomy lab wasn't pleasant, but at least it wasn't a 4day race against decay...hehe
now i miss waiting in that lab for hours beside cadavers...
well, dat's for today...

from history we learn~

talking in arabic

2010-10-06T09:51:00.004+02:00

while waiting for 10 o'clock (hoping the 'suq' will open)
plus, something reminded me of this incident - english lectures crisis...hehe

it was our 4th day or in the second week of attachment in HKL..i dun recall it precisely~
we visited the psychiatry department and requested to visit the wards...
the head department allowed us to enter...

so we went to the 'gurls' ward...it was lunch time, patients were lining up for their food...we approached them, suddenly a patient came to us

"owh, you guys nk interview i ea?...kejap ea...i nk makan dulu...hurm, u pakai braces, i pon pakai braces...u boleyla interview i!"...she pointed to me...

erk...haha...this really caught me...very friendly patient.

we continued inside and the matron showed us around
"skarang time makan, so patient tak de dlm ward...kat situ file patient kalau nk bace...." she continued explaining us around

at the same time, there was a women in patient's outfit standing beside her...looking at us drowsily (i guess, ptosis eyelid)

"...by the way, korang ni dari mane?" the matron asked
"Cairo University" we answered together...
suddenly..

"enti minal kaherah?" the women asked
"aa!" i replied astounded..."enti bitakallim arabi?" i asked her back
"na'am...ana darastu allughatul al arabiah fil jamiah" she replied...

phew~

"a aa...dy nie pandai cakap arab..." said the matron..."aa, boleyla korg borak ngan dy!"

"lau antunna uridina an atakallam ma'aya, saufa najlis awwalan!"... said the patient

seriously we were really taken aback by her...

"mashi!" i said...

and we continued chatting, talking about each other...but more to how she end up in the psychiatry ward...fully in arabic fushah!...(never imagine i'd meet someone like this)...frankly speaking, she talks more fluent than i do...and she corrects her verb every now and then...

*some people really strive to learn arabic...realizing how precious is that language...

#this incident happened to me and shae~one more sweet memory there

mysterious...let's explore!

2010-10-04T22:02:00.000+02:00

i am sleepy so early nowadays...
but dis help freshen me up a lil bit

curiosity...hehe

dis is the ocean...can human body still hide more secrets than we expect?

*clinical classes prove to be exciting and satisfying...'if i get the chance to do everything...'

be curious!

pantun syawal

2010-09-23T05:02:00.000+03:00

i want to share a 'pantun' sms to me from a very special person...thnx for texting it!

sungguhku diuji empat perkara,

iblis, dunia, nafsu dan syahwat.

selalu menjeratku dalam binasa,

sedarlah aku sebelum terlewat.

though at first, it seems like "how is it related to eid?"
but when you read between the lines...it is a reminder, that even though syawal has come...and all those forbidden things in ramadhan has been lifted...you should be aware that starting first syawal...all those "four" stuffs are eager to pull you down-

a portion from our beloved prophet in his last sermon (khutbah al wida')
"beware of satan for the safety of your religion. he has lost all hope of that he will be able to lead you astray in big things, so beware of following him in small things."

*mid syawal...and the moon is getting more prettier every night

*The pantun is a Malay poetic form,In its most basic form the pantun consists of a quatrain which employs an abab rhyme scheme. A pantun is traditionally recited according to a fixed rhythm and as a rule of thumb, in order not to deviate from the rhythm, every line should contain between eight and 12 syllables. "The pantun is a four-lined verse consisting of alternating, roughly rhyming lines. The first and second lines sometimes appear completely disconnected in meaning from the third and fourth, but there is almost invariably a link of some sort. Whether it be a mere association of ideas, or of feeling, expressed through assonance or through the faintest nuance of a thought, it is nearly always traceable"

it's the fifth time

2010-09-22T16:50:00.000+03:00

my fifth year here...(egypt)
i thought i could muster myself to feel normal here...(well...it should be! am entering my fifth yr~)
though at first it seems yes (masa dlm flight)
but the minute i took a trolley for my luggage, the feelings dawn on me all over again...~why am i willing myself to be here~...

hopefully it won't last too long...

i usually say it's fun in egypt!...but it takes a while to adjust...

and it will be fun all over again...like those four year that has past...

it's gonna be fun!...it has to!

let's forgive...pleaseeee

2010-09-08T00:21:00.001+02:00

didapur ketika berbuka -
"macamane nabi tu sabar je ea kaklong?...", my youngest brother, ahmad questioned that...

"nabi tu, org buat jahat kat dy pon dy doakan kebaikan org tu", azfar added
"erk..."...me

there was this one day, i was so furious...urghh!!!
why do people have to be like dat???
i felt like avenging, so that the person knows what it feels like!
fortunately, my mind worked faster that time, after 21 years alive and with all my experiences (especially last year's)...it got me thinkin...

what made me so mad?
usually when things didn't go my way

is it appropriate for me to avenge the person back?
hurmmm....
i usually complain about it in my prayers...hoping God will give me patience to face that person,
and when it comes to the part asking God to avenge the person for me...i was reminded of our beloved Prophet (pbuh) how He would forgive anyone however hard they've done to Him...

do i have the right to get so mad?
was dat person so mean to me?...'so mean'...urm...not really,
compared to what our Prophet faced...this is minor!

and imagine if each time things didn't go the way Allah wants it to be and He gets mad over it...would i still be alive today?...Allah has let me lived for 21 years already, let me live this long so that i have the chance to redeem myself before 'that' day...

here i thought, i don't have the right to judge, however mad that person made me, i wasn't in his shoes...i could never understand why he did it...and i don't have the right to be mad at him, instead...i should correct him...not avenge him...

my inner mind speaking...hee...what i really mean to convey here is-

maafkanlah jika ada terlanjur perkataan

(or perbuatan or anything)

diharap supaya jangan disimpan

kuberdoa selamat panjang umur murah rezki

semoga tuhan akan memberkati

let's forgive and if possible, forget!...pleaseeee

and so...only a few days left before Ramadhan finishes...we must strive as much as we can to gain these few days...it's never too late as long as we are not yet in the end...

i really hope to get to meet next Ramadhan...

and of course, have a pleasant eid
so here i like to wish everyone
selamat hari raya!
kullu sanah wa antum toyyibeen!
maaf zahir batin!

the cookie story

2010-09-04T06:05:00.000+02:00

LOL

i can't help but laugh first...so damn funny!!!
yesterday i helped my mom making this:

and then ona and aina came for 'buka puasa'...
we ate, chat...talked...and aina asked me for one of those cookies...she took one and went to the living room with amat...

aina

then, she came for another one...
ona became curious, where has she thrown the paper cup...
we all assumed she'd chucked it out somewhere in the living room..."dun worry la ona!" i said
the third time she came into the kitchen, mouth so full...pointing at the jar of cookies ("dy suke biskut ni!" - my mum)...ona asked her,

"aina, sini kejap! mane plastic dy?...packet hitam ni...aina letak mane?" pointing at her paper cup...
aina smiled...opened her mouth and pointed in it...LOL
"astaghfirullahal azim!!! kaklong la ni!...x ajar dy nk makan macamane!dy x penah makan mende dlm paper cup lagi, mane dy tau..." ona pulled out the munched up paper cup from her mouth...what happened to the first paper cup?
sadaqallah...safe in her belly...

hehe...

for the third cookie, i threw away the paper cup first...LOL...

it never occurred to me to miss it

2010-09-02T11:40:00.000+02:00

i just finished helping my mom out in the kitchen...doing a bit this and a bit that...hehe

then i sat down in the living room, skimming through channels...and found this very interesting documentation
"Science and Islam"...in history channel, with an "18" warning...this caught my attention...so i click on it and found out how much i miss my study place...huhu...

enjoy~

*i need to really understand arabic to gain these...
may Ramadhan be blissful for all of you!

besnye org yg spend ramadhan in egypt...

feeling free?

2010-09-01T17:47:00.000+02:00

the patient kept staring...
i doubt he can move his eyes...he's completely paralyzed, with myoclonic flexion of his trunk every five seconds...

i smiled at him...
miraculously, the edge of his mouth pulled up a bit...
is he looking at me?

i moved a step in front keeping my gaze on his eyes...his eyes followed...:D

"dr, what happen to him?"...i became curious
"i am not a dr, i am an occupational therapist"
"owh sorry, mrs...what happen to this boy?"
"hurm...see his right elbow here?" i looked up his right elbow which is wrapped in a cast
"yup!"
"he was unlucky, caught up in a tiny accident which end up with a broken olecranon...he was chased into the orthopedic department who decided to operate on his olecranon...another unlucky strike in the OT, his heart fell into asystole...the dr tried to resuscitate him...and he was merely alive...but his brain damaged due to the blood deprive...so he is now being treated and hospitalized..."
"OoOOoooo...so sad~"

everyone just celebrated independence day, i hope he'd be free soon...

#be grateful that you are given the chance to experience ramadhan...why is it passing by so fast?
(a reminder to my-forgetful-self)

post triple one...

2010-08-25T14:32:00.000+02:00

today's topic is about nothing particular...

wanna share a funny incident that occurred to me

i was hovering over dr # as he took a parkinson patient's history

rummaging through the patient's file, he asked

"where's your ECG?"

"EGG saye x buat dr!"

"rmm...nurse!"...the dr called

"ye?" she came

"tolong buatkn ECG satu for this pateint." he smiled and added "patient ni kate dy x buat EGG"...they laughed..

i smiled..dr # turned to me, "do you know what's E-G-G?" he asked with his serious face

"ermmm...???" i made a thinking face

"do you know what is ECG?"

"yes, elctrocardiogram"

"yup...EEG?"

"electroencephalogram!"

"ryte...and EGG?"

"electro...???"

"haha...egg!...telur la!"

"huh?" i was bemused...and i laughed..."pulling my leg huh?"

"yes!....saya kenekan sorg lagi!!!" cried dr # out loud...

knowledge

2010-08-22T06:37:00.000+02:00

chit chatting with ayah...
he described to me
the difference
between a man who gains knowledge (3ilmu)
and a man who gains information...

"3ilmu" will make the person who has it a nice and lovable person
he practices "mahmudah" attitude, and he avoids anything "mazmumah"

i hope i can have the knowledge...not just the information...

it's a gift!

2010-08-21T14:50:00.000+02:00

that day was the Grand ward rounds

almost 20 drs are present...

the best thing about that day was what i saw in a chinese couple...

the wife unfortunately has parkinson, thus she couldn't take care of herself very well...the husband was discussing his wife's discharge with a dr, he can't wait to bring her home...and bless them...they look like they were born before the japanese era...

his discussion ended, drs move to the next bed...i kept my gaze on them as the husband was about to carry his wife to a nearby chair...can he manage? i wondered...

"&*(%$#@#" said the husband in chinese to a lady...and she helped him

apparently, i wasn't the only person watching this scene...a chinese male dr was also witnessing this...

"this is your daughter?" asked the dr

"nope, my maid!" he answered

"owh, where did you find a chinese speaking maid?" the dr asked back...

(sorry, this is what i assume they were talking about...hehe, they were speaking chinese)

and their conversation continued for a bit...

the husband then took out a flask, pour chicken soup into a bowl and began feeding his wife

"what?where's your maid just now?" asked the chinese dr shocked

"dunno!" he answered not apparently looking at the dr, he seemed pretty occupied with his wife

"you have a maid, ask her to feed your wife la!" said the dr

"no no!" he refused

"oo, you sayang bini ea!" the dr joked...

he seemed intent

a malay female dr said to us...

"nanti nak kawen, cari husband macam nie!"...we smiled

then the chinese dr turned to us

"bayar maid tapi tak mo pakai...rugi la!" he quoted

"i da nasehat budak2 ni suh cari husband macam dy!" said the malay dr

"u x nk nasehat i ke? i x kawen lagi" d chinese dr replied...

"u sanggop jaga ur wife like this?" she asked back

"hehe~"

it was difficult

2010-08-14T02:15:00.000+02:00

i really hate waiting...it's torturous!

i dun like crowdedness...it's suffocating!

i averse difficulties...it makes me doubt myself~

i hate this...i dun like that...huhu...

there are so many things in life, which pressure my mind...

one day, amidst all those difficulties...i just couldn't stand it anymore!!!

urgh!!!

giving up seems like a pretty good idea...

i dun actually need to face this, i do have an option to back out...

but...

i won't get what i want though...huhu

i began to evaluate...is it really worth it to face those difficulties?...is it better to just give up?...or just cheat my way in?...there are many other easy ways to sneak through...hehe

i was in a 40 minute ride train

i boarded that full coach and was forced to stand...huhu, i've just walked about 10 minutes to reach here...but all the seats were full...i didn't have a choice, so i waited in front of a passenger, hoping at each stop she'd alight...but i was out of luck that day...i stood till my destination

there i thought, while my feet were killing me...why am i afflicted with such hardship???

maybe....

maybe i have made somebody waited for me before or maybe i have cause difficulties to others before or maybe this is another life's obstacle...

i was not used to this method of transportation...i looked around at all the other passenger faces...this must've been their routine, they look calm...somehow at peace...well some of them does wear a face like me...hehe...if i was to complain out loud, they must've look at me like i am a crybaby...it's only a bit of standing!duh~

with that thought lingering in my mind...miraculously, everything seems smooth and easy~

hurm...i don't really have to give up then, it's just a matter of adjusting my perspective on a situation...

look at it in a different view!

i really hope this method can be used in other matters

there, a lesson in Ramadhan Kareem...

use all the opportunities given while you are still alive, this might be the last Ramadhan...huhu

telepaths

2010-08-08T19:43:00.000+03:00

what is telepathy?
the ostensible transfer of information on thoughts or feelings between individuals by means other than the five senses
before, it is known as thought-transference

i am just curious, if this thing truly exist...i can't deny its presence,
i've felt it countless of times, though i maybe deluded...huhu...
or coincidently i've been thinkin about it...
but the fact that it crosses continents and the coincidence (well, as muslim...we know that everything and every move in our life are destined)...made me google it up and wanna study about it

so mr. wiki here provided some info about telepathy...
if you are open minded, you can classify it as parapsychology...
or not, we can regard it as clairvoyant
as, it cannot be proven scientifically yet-

test has been made to study the presence of this ability,
the most famous is the Zener cards and Ganzfeld experiment
we need 2 person to participate in this test, a sender and a receiver...the sender thinks about a picture from these cards...the receiver will know what card the sender is thinkin about from afar...ganzfeld experiment is similar except that the receiver is put in a controlled environment...

zener cards...

there are many types of telepathy...latent, retrocognitive, intuitive, emotive, superconcious...etc.

hurm~
as far as i am aware of, i've been is the receiver's shoe...and emotive type at most...intuitive sometimes...
well, surely i wont realize if am the sender...hee

but the question here...
is it truly true?
i wonder~

*thnx mr wiki for these info
*tomorrow, start stopping wasting my time
*tomorrow start terawih??? "rabbana taqobbal minna ramadhan!"

...read...

2010-07-24T10:51:00.000+03:00

today's story is about one of the most common story we ever heard...
but i wanna tell it anyway...

about the first order that was sent down on our beloved Prophet, peace be upon Him.

everybody knows the order is "READ!!!"
and everybody is very familiar with the story...in a cave, on a hill, at night and suddenly Jibrail came...
and asked our prophet three times to read!...and each time He'd reply, I cannot read!, and each time He was hugged strongly by Jibrail...and after the third time, Jibrail said..."iqra' bismi rabbika allazi kholaq'"

hurmmm...

has it ever occurred to you, why Jibrail needed to ask three times? and each time he hugged our Prophet ever so strongly...that's a torture!, why couldn't he just teaches Him after the first disclaimer?

the answer~

well, you have to put yourself in our Prophet's position...imagine~
it was dark, He was alone in a cave, high up on the hill that was far away from the village...very far away from human beings, occasionally...some desert animal will pass through...with little food and not much water...that night was dark with stars glimmering above, still and silent...suddenly, with no warning, a man appeared in front of Him, smartly dressed, sparkling white, clean and with no signs of exhaustion.

surely, this took Him by surprise!...who is this stranger?...he couldn't be climbing up the hill just now, there was no sound! besides, his outfit is just too clean to just finished hiking...he came down from the sky? erupted from the earth?...and above all, this stranger commanded Him to read!!!...He's never read before~

so, in this situation...the first "maa ana biqaari'!" that our Prophet rebuffed to Jibrail...was proclaimed in an indefinite shock and fear...and He has never understood or can ever read anything before...as if He said..."lan aqra'!" - "I can never read!"

and here Jibrail hugged our Prophet...not gently like a mother caressing her son...it was a strong one!...the bone-braking kind...this kind of hug makes people fainthearted...at this early beginning, Jibrail was showing our Prophet that the path He's going to pass through is a tough path. that he needs to be patient and obedient to Allah. and once again, Jibrail asked Him..."Read!"

the second time, our Prophet rebuff "maa ana biqaari'!", but this time it was a notch lower, not the sudden, strong surprised reply like the first one...as if to say, in fright..."laa a3rifu al-Qiraa'ah!" - "i don't know how to read!"

and again...Jibrail embraced Him stronger than the first one, this second one teaches Him that whenever a command is told, don't ask how...and it teaches Him more patience...and for the third time, Jibrail asked "Iqra'!"

and again, our Prophet refused...softer..."maa ana biqaari'!"...He's exhausted and extremely frightened by now...and Jibrail keep insisting Him to read...His third reply was weaker...He doesn't know how to read...but being kept told to...so, this time...his weak reply meant "maazaa aqra'?" - "what shud I read?"

so that's why...only after the third time did Jibrail replied "Iqra' bismi rabbika al-lazii kholaq'!" - "Read! In the Name of your Lord Who has created (all that exist)!"

as if to answer His hidden questions in His ever same remark. even though all three times our Prophet replied the same statement, the context, pronunciation and intonations make the same statement gives out different meanings...and for sure, the first "maa ana biqaari'!" couldn't be replied straight away with the first verse sent down to our beloved Prophet, peace be upon him.

and that's how the story went...

thanks to ustaz mahmuud for telling us this beautiful story...his story was longer, and has more hidden items of course...filled with emotions, except it was in arabic...hehe...and this is only about 'a' verse in the Holy Quran...huhu

hope u guys enjoyed reading it...:D

#in a couple of days, nisfu syaaban is coming...rabbana taqobbal minna ramadhan...
# i have this problem of confusing arabic words with each other, they sound and have somewhat kind of similar syllabus...but it has totally different meaning~...any idea how can i work dis out?
# notice how breezy this morning was (sorry, only applied to cairo's inhabitants)...hope it last through out the day...or month~...hehe

happy holiday!

the one and Only ONE!

2010-07-21T20:59:00.000+03:00

it was a hot evening...i waited in class for ustaz mahmuud to finish his 'solat' at the same time completing my 'i3raab' of 'fe3l' and faa3l' of surah al-Qiyamah...

am really not good in this kind of task, it burns my brain up (hehe)...and tires me down, but i finished it anyway~

ustaz mahmuud came in and we continue our lesson of 'al faa3il'

i love ustaz mahmuud's classes as there are a lot of thinking process going up, before he teaches me any subject...he'd usually make me guess the contents of the lesson...

and so, this lesson started with-

what is al-faa3il liyana?
the doer of doings. i replied
good!our lesson is going to be easy...and he wrote down 6 sentences to describe al-faa3il
that's item no. 1...now, what other condition a word needs to qualify itself as al-faa3il?
emm....i hesitated, well honestly...i dun have any other idea...after several minutes passed by...
think!...you are a doctor, look carefully at your patient, check his eyes, his mouth, his stomach...search for it indefinitely before you give out your diagnosis!...now come on liyana...from those examples, what do they present?
urghhh...the difference between female and male?...i ask, unsure
ustaz mahmuud clicked...urm...before that!...

and that how our thinking session usually goes...seriously it feels like in a game of chess, which reminds me of my dad a lot!...LOL

at last...after waiting too long for an answer, ustaz mahmuud gave me the conditions...
eleven of them!, and he explained one by one...it was nearly 6.15 p.m....
and we reached no. 11

now tell me liyana, can an arabic sentence have more than one al-faa3il?
yes?...that's usually how i answered if am not sure
okay, is "akalaa al waalidaan" a correct sentence?
yup!
is la3ibuu al waaliduun a correct sentence?
yup!
nope! you are wrong.
why?
the correct one is akala al waalidaan.
if the fe3l is in front it is always one...
why?
the arabs language is like that...because...there cannot be more than one doer in a sentence!...that's their rule
owh!...so my answer just now was wrong?
yes, and the beauty in this rule the arabs created here if you can see...they believe in their own mother tongue that there cannot be more than one doer in one sentence, so Allah ask them, ya 3rabiyyuun...you yourself speak that there cannot be more than one doer...how can you believe that there is more than one god, if you can see here liyana...the ultimate doer who does every doing is only ONE and that is Allah azza wajalla!

i was stunned!

that is why, al-Quran came in arabic language is a mukjizat...if you realize, yes you can do stuffs, make things move, run, climb...or anything, but if it is against Allah's will, you can never do any of them...so...for the arabs to deny this is against their own rule...how can their mind accept there is more than one god who created this world if their tongue could not accept more than one doer in their language?

wow!

and ustaz also said that your heart also cannot give ultimate love to more than one person, it is true that you do love someone more than you love another, it can never be the same level, but the one who get most of your love is the owner of your heart!...how is this related to our discussion?...i missed...LOL...i myte have got lost along the stunned realization of this fact hidden for so long since i had my first al-faa3il lesson years back...
how can i never realize this??? its blissful to see...honestly!

just thought dis is something worth to share...
there are many more wonderful stuff that opens my eyes during my lessons...i'll try and find time to jot em down...but this one, really... it's beautiful!

cause there is one creator and ONLY ONE and that is Allah

pray for me...=)

# these conversation are my own translation...do correct me if am wrong...
#this is one long typing...hehe
# learning needs patience...so do pray for me...
Rabbuna ma3akum!

choosing

2010-07-19T23:03:00.000+03:00

whenever i wanted to decide to buy something, or choose anything and i seek for my father's opinion,
he will always say, you have the right to choose! but i will guide you, n you can make your own decision...

hurm...

it got me thinkin, during this holiday season...

when i woke up in the morning, and found myself unbounded to any important responsibility, i'll sleepily lay my head back down...

before the holiday, i can wake up very early and stay up late at night, almost 24/7 my face stares books...as exams are around the corner...hehe

but now?...urm...

well, do i live to wait for examinations commin up?...hurm...it got me thinkin~

coz i always have the chance to choose!

(a reminder for myself and whoever's readin~)

a dua' ust Maha taught us-
rabbana taqobbal minna....(whatever good deeds crossed your mind)
choose wisely~

where did it come from?

2010-07-12T21:32:00.000+03:00

on my quest to understand this piece of arabic grammar, my teacher asked...what does 'nahu' (arabic grammar) teaches us?

i thought n replied based on what i wanted from that lesson
-to teach me where to put each word in a correct place in a sentence!...so damn confident!...LOL

my teacher smiled...n shook his head...u got it wrong!

uhuh...?so, what do i learn from the subject nahu?...

thus, my teacher told me the story of how the word 'nahu' came from...

it was in the era of khalifah Ali bin Abu Talib...an incident happened to his friend, Abu Aswad adDu'ali...
Abu Aswad here came from a pure arabic descendant, and that day, he was sitting outside at night in the desert with his 18 year old daughter...they were looking up at the sky~

his daughter said "maa ajmalu asSamaa'?"...(what is the most beautiful thing about the sky?)
"nujumuha!"...replied Abu Aswad...(its stars!)
"la, lam uridu as-su'ala, wa innama aradtu at-ta'ajjub!"...she corrected...(no, i didn't mean it as a question, i meant it as an amazement!)
he was so shocked hearing his daughter saying that..."iftahii famaki!"...(open your mouth!)
[maa ajmalaa asSamaa'!]

worried on how his daughter who was also a pure arabic could make this huge mistake...Abu Aswad told Ali bin Abu Talib about their conversation that night...

'ya amir al-mukminin! last night i spent my time outside with my daughter.'...Abu Aswad started the conversation
'great!, you are a great dad!'...he replied
'we were looking up at the sky, and my daughter said..."maa ajmalu asSamaa'?"'
'tell her its stars!"
'yup, i told her that!...but she replied..."la, lam uridu as su'ala, wa innama aradtu at ta'ajjub!"'
'yaah!!!how can an arab made such mistake???' Ali was suprised!

worried that arabic language would be broken, Ali ordered Abu Aswad to write down that arabic words has three types..."al-ism, al-fe'l, al-harf"...and he added "unhu nahwan haza nahwi" (follow this path!)

and from there came the word 'nahu'...

but still,
my question has not yet been answered...what does 'nahu' teaches me?

my teacher replied politely...
"hua ilmun ya'rifu bihi dobtu awakhiri al-kalimati bi'anwaa'i al-harakati"
(it is the knowledge that teaches you with precision about types of line at the end of each word)

only???

hurm...
to learn whether you used the correct word for a meaningful sentence we study 'balaghah'
and so on...
owh why dun i like history before???...LOL

post 101: language vs family

2010-07-11T21:47:00.000+03:00

i got this story, from my arabic teacher...
pardon me if i deliver it wrongly...but this is how i understood it~

the value of a language-
the ripening age for arabic language reaches its peak the moment alQuran was sent down to our beloved prophet p.b.u.h.

the Quraish people wholly understood word by word used in the holy Quran. because, every word in it were used by them in their daily lives. but at their time, arabic language was not yet a lesson, nor the rules were yet written, how come...the peak of arabic language came earlier?

*the arabic language verb's (nahu) discipline were first written by sibaweyh

my teacher explained, even though back then they dun have written rules about arabic language...never once anybody made a mistake in their language during communicating!

how can that be?...(i was really curious)

imagine!...my teacher said...
the leaders prohibited anyone from making even a slight mistake in speaking, or else...he will be banished from the group (qabilah) and left to die from hunger in the desert. they value correct verbal more than their own family...
and even young kids were not allowed to make a mistake...thus, their ears have never heard mistakes in their life, so they never speak mistaken words...
they were very proud of their language!

my teacher added-
the ears, if it listen to wrong things the tongue will speak wrong things

how they really honored their language once~

now...the purity of arabic language is decilinig...therefore i got this advice from my teacher
learn from the difficult books!
because within it lies the knowledge
easy books does not contain knowledge...
_______________________________
tonight's the final game...(no idea which side should i choose...LOL)
met a kitten on my way home with a white pupil on its right eye...it got me thinkin'...can cats have cataract?...i tried to test its visual acuity but it ran...huhu~

4th yr da abes!!!

2010-07-08T10:05:00.000+03:00

dis yr was awesome!!!
glad it's finished, and can't wait for what's commin up during the summer...

a bit sad that everything has become a memory~
will treasure it for the rest of my life insyaAllah...

unexpected 'freedom' celebration (next yr kene tawan balik...huhu)-
*i dunno how i ended up sitting in dr mo'tasem billah's office~ (gosh!...i missed anatomy so much!!!!!!)

*went to have sushi for lunch (sepatutnye ya hala...Allah certainly has better plan for us!-thnx!!!)

*and finally i ended my day by watching a chinese opera...LOL

owh, jz to remind myself...and anyone who reads dis...
free time kills!
so, plan ur time well...do pray for me so dat i dun waste my summer!
i recalled a quote ust razi once told us (MEP3) -
wasting ur time = time u spent without remembering Allah
=)

happy holiday everybody!!!
#plus, to those about to get married dis summer...Barakallahulakum! (ramainyer~)
may you guys b together till the infinity~...=D

what a very small world!

2010-07-03T19:49:00.000+03:00

a little girl...
threads slowly...
trying to figure out what she actually wanna be...
finding on the way...
that, she loves company...

now the little girl has grown a bit
n she is astounded!

what a very small world!!!
as she kept stumbling into her companies...

one of the reason y i chose medicine...

Allah's blessings are countless!
2 more left....

i left my purse!

2010-06-27T17:01:00.002+03:00

it was a bright hot sunny afternoon...the kind or brightness that blind your eyes and the heat was somewhat slightly colder than an oven stove...i was walking alone...on the bridge across Nile river just after the final written exam...absentmindedly flipping through the textbook when suddenly, as i crossed the road...a friend of mine appeared to be walking the opposite way...i smiled but she quickly grabbed my hand and "lynn, i've left my purse!" with a face drenched with worry...

"o really?...where?"
"i think on the cars as i was filling up the questionnaire!"
"uhuh...what was in that purse?"
"my handphone n my keys...huhu!"
"owh...okay, let's go and search for it...i think it should still be there, the uncle who took care of that place is usually nice, if we can't find it we can ask him!"

and so i ventured the opposite way too...comforting her along the way, i dunno why i strongly believed the purse will still be there even though we are in 'egypt'...LOL

we reached the place where we were filling up those questionnaire forms...my friend's eyes were fixed at the car she banked on just now...the "uncle" who 'shoved' me away minutes ago gave me a curious look...

(come here!!!...wut a funny picture~)

"kullu tamam???...imtihan kuwayis?"
"alhamdulillah!" i smiled
"fa, fi eih?"...curious i think why am back in that spot...he was eager chasing students away after the exam...LOL
"urm...shantah bita'ha..." i pointed at my friend...and he quickly called my friend...
"shantah eih?...fi eh fi shantah?"
"fi mahmuul...wa miftaah..."my friend answered but she haven't finish her words yet the uncle took out his phone and announced...

"sout ya gamma'ah!...eih raqam el mahmuul?"...erk!, everybody in the vicinity turned towards us...

at the same time another uncle came with my friend's phone in his left hand...she attempted to take it but the uncle refuses to give it...

"elraqam awwel!"

so my friend gave him the no and he dialed the number and her phone rang...

"toyyib!"...and he handed us the phone with her purse hidden in his green "scrubs" pocket...

my friend, filled with gratitude, smiled the whole way back...but as we passed the forensic department her phone rang and we turned around and that uncle waved us with a wide sweet smile....

______________
a tremendously wonderful incident ended my pressure during this written exam...:D

#mind...i still have orals and practicals to think of...hope everything goes fine...
this feeble entity pledge for prayers...please!!!...

and all the best to my fellow collegue~
rabbuna ma'akum!

mmm...

2010-06-02T20:11:00.000+03:00

"Learn that every Muslim is a brother to another Muslim and that the Muslims constitute one Brotherhood.

Remember, one day you will appear before ALLAH and answer for your deeds."

an iota from Prophet Muhammad PBUH last sermon but is very vivid to what i am feeling since the past few days

we worked for it and we hoped for it...may Allah help us through n through~

the only thing i can do right now is to be the best, because -

in the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

3:110 Ye are the best of peoples, evolved for mankind, enjoining what is right, forbidding what is wrong, and believing in Allah. If only the People of the Book had faith, it were best for them: among them are some who have faith, but most of them are perverted transgressors.

* one of my motivational urge. - my exam stress is so minor in comparison to their physical, emotional and psychological tension right now~

* it'd be nice if we juxtapose the length of our prophet's "khutbah wida'" on our walls so we can always remind ourselves...just an idea i like to share~

* don't forget to pray...gudluck friends~

wut's whithin ur heart

2010-05-30T14:31:00.000+03:00

ideas worth spreading...
haha...am stuck studying ophthalmology...apart from this great new learning revolution we can take from his talk, i love his accent...

TENSIONNNNNN!!!!

2010-05-22T20:49:00.000+03:00

amek gmbr presentation derang td...x pe kn???

whoa!!!
okay now...cool down...nothing life threatening's goin' around...juz a bunch of exams paper comin around the corner~...hehe

i can't avoid feeling anxious, stress, nervous and all those "sympathetic-stimulating-emotions" whenever exams are jz nearby...but these stuff are not healthy for my health (from healing body & soul - almost finish reading it)...and i bet for all my friends are feeling just the same

so, i'd like to share this calming vid...only about 2 minutes...whenever you feel out of control, listen to it with a high happy spirit thinkin' that nothing is impossible, and we have Allah to depend on-

:D

dedicated to all my friends especially gen6 and srs n jrs yg nk exam...
May Allah always be with you`

# td g tgk ezzat (baby k. battah)...so happiieeee!!!!...(rindu kat aina...huhu...)
# aainaa (my h'mate) tanye - knp bile tgk baby kite tenang ea?...hmmm, mayb sebab derang suci kot...x de dosa lagi...kite x tenang sbb dosa?...jom istighfar! (gaya naimah ajak...hehe)
# mama n ayah...plz pray for me, plz5x...

am always happy!

2010-05-15T19:58:00.000+03:00

whenever i feel down or not in the mood, i always remind myself of an incident dat happened last february...

i boarded a flight...as i was seating, waiting for it to take off, a man came next to me and politely asked...
"may i sit on the aisle?"
considering his huge figure, i agreed (albeit it's my fav seat)...or else, he'd need to squeeze in between me and the seat in front...wouldn't be a nice experience i thought...

the flight took off...suddenly the man was shivering...
-urm, is he afraid of heights?...i thought to myself, never mind, ignore him...

jz as the seatbelt sign went off, he quickly stood up and went to the back of the cabin...
-he's sick!...i made a new assumption...LOL

and he returned, he look completely normal now...and he started our conversation...i completely forgot about what...coz, uhuh...i dun really like telling people this but God! his breath smells!!!

he wouldnt stop talking!, so i decided to pretend sleeping~...LOL (a bad thing to do coz the minute i closed my eyes, food were being distributed...duh!...i missed my first meal-

a 5 hour flight~...i can't totally ignore him to tell you the truth...n i can't pretend sleeping all the time...so at the end i listened to his woes n worries about his life...as i listened to his talks, it gave me the diagnosis...

huhu...he's not afraid...he's not sick~...he's drunk!!!

he confessed in one of his life stories as he said to me..."i know drinking too much alcohol can cause liver cirrhosis!...but i never knew; drinkin so much in a very short tyme can cause acute pancreatitis!...did you know dat?" and he showed me his pictures being hospitalized due to the acute pancreatitis..."u are only 29 and u've already got acute pancreatitis???" i laughed...and he laughed too...duh?

he asked me if i've met his sister's friend - jamie, or julie...i forgot~
"look!...i dun really know anybody in your life to be honest, i've just met u!" i said irritably

translated the journey's supplication (doa perjalanan) for me...*whoa!*
mind you, he's not and average person, about to finish his PhD, a lecturer in a very well known university and knows a lot about trading issues-he's been explaining to me his business research in middle east...(well, of course he can jz fake all these information...but, he really knows how to lie then!)

and told me this one funny principle of his life
"you know, there is two things i hate most in this world!...one, non smoking flight! (pointing at the illuminated sign above - thank God! i prayed) and two, undecided women! (he's been telling me for 1 hr how he met till he broke up with his fiancée)"

the one topic we talked about that i always recall whenever am feeling down or not in the mood is-

after telling me all his personal life (i can say from A-Z)
"don't life ever feel miserable to you?" he asked
"nope!...am always happy!" i replied (irritated to be honest evrytime he wanted to start a new conversation)...but then i realized...why am i telling this to a drunk person???
HAHA~

the inevitable fact

2010-05-11T17:10:00.000+03:00

i was reading this article i clicked from my friend's YM status (quya) when it strongly reminds me a principle i learnt in my tutorials last week

we were having a retinal (the inner most layer of the eye-coat responsible to receive lights so that you can perceive the image you are viewing) lecture that afternoon, and the doctor explains that-

if you have diabetes, it can lead to retinal affection. this retinal affection is call Diabetic Retinopathy

one of the thing this complication does is-

it blocks blood supply to your retina, thus, your retinal cells (who are hungry by the way) will respond by releasing substances that grows more new vessels...but!!!, these new vessels are really hazardous coz they done behave normally. they are grown just to help increasing the blood supply but they don't follow the retinal rules.

so, when a diabetic patient reaches this state (abnormal vessels growing in their retina) the only way to treat it is by a method called 'Pan Laser Photocoagulation'...this method beholds a principle that was juxtaposed strongly in my head the minute my dr. explains it!

laser photocoagulation works by emitting laser to your photoreceptors (photoreceptors contains pigments).
when laser meets pigments it produces light then heat increases thus the cells around it die.

why are we killing these cells?

because we need to spare the very little amount of blood allowed into the retina for the most important area in it, which is the macula. thus, those dead cells won't complain and release substances to produce hazardous new abnormal blood vessels.

the relation my dr. gave was...
~~save the goverment!...the most important center, and kill those annoying voices. dead people don't complain and everybody is happy!~~...erk!!!...honestly i never forget this example...LOL...

what does this have to do with the article i just read?...urm...actually, i can't really construct this feeling that it is related into beautiful words yet, but it feels like it have some connection...hehe, since it reminded me of this retinal issue~

# things will change if you work for it (but who would?)
# macula is a site in your retina which perceive the most accurate and focused picture of your vision (crystal clear image!). your brain depends on it to detect if your eyes are working normally or not...the other sites of your retina are for your peripheral vision.

# all the informations above are based on my understanding in my tutorial classes...if there are any mistakes i'd b glad if you could correct me...:D

it will never be the same again...

2010-05-08T20:43:00.000+03:00

dis story got me thinkin...(from Healing Body & Soul pg 341)

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 43 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down as the boy discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, ‘You have done well, my son, but look at these holes. The fence will never be the same again!.' Remember, when you say things in anger, they leave a permanent scar!

# got this next story from here

Men – After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, “Darling, 44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white tv, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year old girl.

Now I have a $500,000.00 home, a $45,000.00 car, nice big bed, a plasma screen tv, but I’m sleeping with a 65-year old woman. It seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things.”

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25-year old gal, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white tv.

Aren’t older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis! I Love my wife!

doa2 study

2010-05-02T00:04:00.002+03:00

i got dis from fiza's book...
at first it was my attempt to read arabic fluently...(unfortunately failed as i havnt been practicing for quite a while)
but i end up finding this list of supplication we can ask for the upcoming examination...

it's clear ryte?
if it isn't click on the image n get a closer look...:D

may Allah help all my friends wherever they are...all the best for ur exams (even yg da nk abes 6 may ni...hehe)

n also, from this book...i found out dis very catchy website, but i couldn't surf much since i dun have arabic characters on my keyboard (knpla malas sngt nk install lynn???)

april went with millions of lessons...may is coming starting with an upcoming joy...:D

* 1st may was
-hari buruh
-bday wanie
-bday fatie
-bday ayie
(why does their nicknames rhyme?...LOL)

the effect of missiles

2010-04-27T18:20:00.002+02:00

am currently reading this book "Healing Body & Soul" by Amira Ayad.

the great thing about this book is it stores interesting stories and it relates a lot with alQuran n asSunnah-

so, today i wanna bring forth a story regarding sources of stress, it says here in this book, there are 3 main sources of stress -
1. personality factor
2. environmental factor
3. social factor

in the personality factor's chapter, the author wrote this information-
(am copying again...huhu)

i recall here an interesting study performed in Israel following the Iraqi launched missiles during Gulf War in 1991. the study of Israeli civilians found that the mortality rate increased alarmingly after the attack. surprisingly, the increased number of deaths was not caused by the physical effect of the missiles - which were practically ineffective, probably due to the great distance of the target.

rather, it was caused by heart failure and other cardiovascular problems induced by the fright, apprehension and panic these missiles had induced in the hapless civilians. it should be noted here, though, that the mental state was not the main cause of these deaths; most of the victims had a pre-existing heart condition that made them susceptible to this sudden panic attack. this bring us the idea of holism; a combination of one's physical condition and lifestyle that affects emotions and psychology, and vice versa.

menarikkn?!
help is always around~

tertarik dengan poster nie...hehe...thnx tukang buat!
#LE 100 anda: membina Palestine

melayu

2010-04-21T20:14:00.000+02:00

this week, i was given a task...
and a part of it required me to 'create' a paragraph or two in 'bahasa melayu'

owh, simple!...my mother tongue! (or so i thought)
but when the moment came for me to start writing, i became blank!...erk!
in that particular moment i realized...my mother language is actually a very beautiful art!
(thnx for giving me dis job!)

throughout my life as a Malay, i comprehend that "our" group of people are delicate yet stunning...or simply dainty~...(prasan lak...haha)

sekadar gambar hiasan

Malays are sensitive people...every word uttered requires thorough consideration, every sentence that comes out must be aligned properly...so that, the meaning intended to be conveyed will come out politely charming...and hence, will be excepted wholeheartedly!
(a million gratitudes to 'nadiah md' for helping me out - kite compliment la nadia~:p)

okay, stop praising the sentences or the language...LOL
my point is...
"Malays"

i knew all along that we are shy (i admit not all...but most of us are ryte?) because our culture thought us a lot on how to respect the elders, on caring for others first, about talking; talk when you are given the permission, use polite volumes when you talk, never talk ill of the elders, never "directly" comment about others!...and so on and so forth...

but living here in egypt sumhow, in a way...this delicate culture needs to be altered...we can't always be silent whenever people "step on our head"...(haha, again using the proverb 'pijak kepala' which actually means oppress)...we can't always tolerate our opportunities to study...we need to take our rights, stand up for our belongings and work our way to get the best here!...wut i can see here is - the loudest gets the most!

experiencing ophthalmology clinical rounds for 2 weeks now...i found out this change...
we are changing...we slowly are losing this polite attitude...

during taking an old egyptian woman's history, we ignored her completely...chatting away in our own language in front of her... addressing her only when we wanna complete our sheets...asking her to do dis, do dat...

and this situation imbued in me - but what if i was in her place???
"wut r these chinese looking people saying...arghh...flashing into my eyes again!...can't dey look for evrything they want in one go?"...(jz my imagination...:p)

but what can i do???
i need to learn...to understand...to get the meaning...for me to contribute back...
is there a way to lessen this guilt?...or is it only me who felt this?...
nothing is free dear...to get sumthing you must sacrifice sumthing...(have you heard these statements?)
but the one who is sacrificing here isn't me...that old egyptian women is...huhu...

where has my politeness gone?...(haha...have i ever been one before?...LOL)

# i will really appreciate comments from my dear fellow gen6...:D

# tomorrow...April 22nd is Aainaa's birthday!...kindly wish her...hehe
# 50 days left to fourth yr final exam...(salahkn biro academic for reminding us about this so frequently...*feeling nervous~*)

whatever it is, feeling glad

2010-04-17T20:50:00.002+02:00

i could have turned a different corner

i could have gone anther place

then i'd never had this feeling

that i feel today, yeah

one 'cut' from keith urban's

listening to dis sentence, i am strongly reminded of our traffic here in egypt...haha

i was once caught in in a traffic jam with the taxi driver, suddenly a neighboring car called out telling how difficult today is and describing dat he was stuck once for more than 2 hrs...huhu

and my taxi driver replied...
"7emdolellah, 7emdolellah...kullu alhamdulillah!"

despite being an aggressive driver himself...:D

he cud've turned a diffrent corner, or never decide to bring me across that road...but then, i wudn't felt wut he felt at the time~

it made me smiled!

how far can YOU tolerate?

2010-04-16T22:13:00.000+02:00

tonight's about a book i bought in one of my trips-

eat, pray, love by Elizabeth Gilbert (again???...hehe...honestly i grabbed the book without a second look jz to kill my tyme for 4-5 hrs bus trip...but it turns out dat i learnt a lot from it)

since dis book have its copyrights, i'll give a brief summary about it base on my understanding-

dis novel is about her life after divorce.

after dealing high n low with the emotional stresses she decided to take a trip for a year to 3 places:

Italy - where she eats a lot

India - where she prays a lot

Indonesia - where she found her love

long story cut short (hehe...the novel has about 350 pages) in Indonesia, she experienced Bali...

here she met a medicine woman (bomoh kot) who was very poor, divorced, with a child of her own and 2 adopted orphans (she picked them up out of pity while she herself barely have enough for her n her daughter) and about to loose her recent houseshop to a rising rent.

her name is Wayan

so Liz here, being close and soft at heart, emailed her friends for help if they could lend a hand to help this Balinese woman.

surprisingly she managed to gather up almost $18 000!!!

but a twist happened when Wayan kept stalling about buying a land n building a house

- the land is not for sale

- the land is possessed by angry demons

- too near the river, ghost lives there (she found out through a dream she had after visiting that place)

- a house at the corner, whoever wanna go bankrupt and die young, live in a corner-lot house (as everyone knows~)

and etc...

until, Wayan found this perfect padi-field land owned by a person who needs fast cash!...this guy have 7 aro (described to be slightly bigger than a parking lot or so~) but wayan's money is only enough to buy 2 aro...hurm...she didn't buy it albeit all the good taksu (tuah kot) and affordable piece of land, when Liz asked why, she started telling complicated stories (the owner needs to sell all 7 aros, his wife wants it like dat, if she have 7 aros she can build a hotel)...wait a minute...a HOTEL????

this is when Elizabeth realized what Wayan is doing...

Liz was sooooooooooooooooooooooo upset!!!...she's being cheated by one of her closest and trusted friend!

but somehow remarkably, the respond her boyfriend (Felipe the love she found in Bali) told her caught my inner mind!

an understanding i assume we as foreigners here in Egypt should apply-

(i need to copy word by word, cause my words won't give the same meaning-)

"Don't get angry about it, whatever happens. If you get angry, you'll lose her, and that would be a pity because she's a marvelous person and she loves you. This is her survival tactic, just accept that. You must not think that she's not a good person, or that she and the kids don't honestly need your help But you cannot let her take advantage of you. Darling, I've seen it repeated so many times.What happens with westerners who live here for a long time is that they usually end up falling into one of two camps. Half of them keep playing the tourist, saying, 'Oh, those lovely Balinese, so sweet, so gracious...,' and getting ripped off like crazy. The other half get so frustrated with being ripped off all the time, they start to hate the Balinese. And that's a shame, because then you've lost all these wonderful friends."

>>i found this really connected to what am experiencing here in Egypt, well...not with THAT ammount of money...but i've heard friends of mine being ripped off by local desperate Egyptians every now and then...

so the question here...do you really hate 'those' Egyptians??? how far can YOU tolerate?

well...am not telling us to let them "step on out head" (literally translating malay's proverb - pijak kepala...hehe)...but, at least...let's stop criticizing them...:)

if we can pause for a while before we get mad, try to find the reason why things happens that way (husnu az-zonn)...la taghdob! (dun be angry!)

what happens nex?...bace sendirila~

today's my dad's birthday!!!!

2010-04-12T02:56:00.000+02:00

first of all b4 i display my wishes for my beloved ayah...let's hear dad-sense by anita renfroe-

sorry i have to completely disagree with you dis tyme, cause my dad teaches me almost everything!
i rmmbr ayah asking me to "tanya mama!" only if i asked for permissions...hehe
apart from that...we chat a lot~
so i can't deny...am daddy's lil girl...and will always b! :D

A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY AYAH!!!

always n forever romantic...:D
May Allah help you n bless you through and through!

thnx for being around...i miss u soooo much!!!
i dedicate dis disney vid for u!

regards,
your lil daughter
:)

owh...n nk add...happy bday amir safwan...my lil brother...
at long...long...last...dis yr, i will finally admit...u r taller than me...huhu
happy 19th birthday adeeq!
[ april 6th 1991 ]

cottons and gauzes

2010-04-10T19:27:00.000+02:00

am waiting for maghrib...kind of having nothing to do~
(nothing to do???...catch up ur unfinished revision for god sake!)
hurm...well, yeah..dat's important too...but wait a sec...need to share sum findings here-
[sorry...my inner minds are always at loggerheads nowadays...hehe]

well...talking about precise...after one of my ENTs classes...i stayed to ask one of the dr., well...he was dr Aly elGarem, about my ENT assignment...and he gave me a very nice tip-

let me give you a tip regarding surgery...
u know..in simple operations like in the pharynx or nose, complications are usually due to careless surgeons; when they forget to take out what they have put in like gauzes and cottons and thus the patient will end up chocking the gauze or unfortunately aspirate small balls of bloody cottons and this really isn't a forgivable mistake to be done!
so, what i did is...i trained my scrub nurses to arrange my cottons and gauzes in fives. she'll give me one at a time from a stack of fives and she will rearrange the one i got out from the patient into stacks of fives. so by dis, she will know and i will be reminded if any gauzes or cotton are left inside (by recalculating them in stacks of fives...hehe)...

was that understandable enough?
to many "stacks of fives"s...hehe

alas...when i was given this tip by the dr. i realized that am heading to a journey requiring extreme cautious in a very quick pace! be fast and be accurate...am i capable of that?...we'll c~
i wonder if i ever gonna get the chance to actually perform any surgery within these two years...hehe

to my family back in malaysia...hav a nice gathering
today's the celebration for those born in april

april 1st - mama
april 6th - adeeq
april 9th - yen
april 12th - ayah

ramainyer~...patutla atok smangat nk held the party...lucky aprilssss...

happy birthday mama!!!

2010-04-01T08:11:00.000+02:00

today is the day
the day why i bothered to fill up those 31 days in march
full of my mother's advices...as a dedication to her
a way for me, far away across continents...to celebrate and appreciate,
the person Allah has grant me
the person is...

my mama!

our latest pic - feb 20, 2010...

here's a birthday song for u-

happy birthday mama!!!

sorry i havn't been able to make it home for your birthday n celebrate wif the boys...
hope my posts brightens ur birthday!
i know, that a month isn't enough to match wut you have done for me ma...
so i pray dat may Allah bless my mother and help her through out her life here and There!
(tolong ameenkn evryone~)

and also....dis is a poem...
dedicated wholeheartedly to mama-

Mama gives hope

When life is low

Mama's a place

Where you can go

Mama is honest

Mama is true

Mama is precious

My Mama is You

Happy Birthday to YOU

Happy Birthday , Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to YOU

I find myself wondering...

Did I give you your due..

For all that you've done for me

Did I ever thank you?

For all of my childhood memories

For helping me deal with life's stresses

For helping me accept my defeats

And celebrate my successes?

Or for teaching me the value of hard work,

Good judgement, courage, and being true

The laughter, smiles, and quiet times we've shared

Did I ever thank you?

If I have forgotten, I'm thanking you now

You taught me right from wrong....

I hope you know how much you're loved and appreciated

I hope you, instinctively, knew all along.

Happy Birthday Mama!

the end of March~

2010-03-31T15:05:00.000+02:00

final post for dis month...huhu...

as a final dedication of march to my mother
this is a song for you ma~

thnx for all the advices u have ever given to me...
sorry if at those moments, i responded badly...but i took in evryword u've said n digested them well enough!
n through all ur advices i know u love me...:D
i love u too ma!
n i really hope u enjoyed 2010's march!
_______________________________________

s to why i chose to write down these memorable advices...
because i always forget how important it is to have sumbody always reminding me-
of course, those 30 advices or so weren't the only things mama has taught me...mama's advices are countless!
but ma...even now am already 21...(i know i still look like a kid...haha)...plz dun stop advising me!!!
May Allah grant you a blissful life mama!
(dun forget to pray for ur parents evrytime u hear the 'azan'!)

*boys, korg plan ap ntuk mama esok?...it's been four yrs am not home for tomorrow's celebration...so dis yr i'll celebrate for you through my blog-tak pe kn ma?...jz another 2 yrs hopefully~

and also i wanna convey my utmost gratitude to evryone who has ever given me even a single word of advice or teachings, or even to jz brighten my day...may Allah bless your life here and There!

*i consider people dat advices me cares for me...meaning, they love me...LOL...love you guys too!
so...tegurla kalau saye silap...nk tegur saje2 pon boley...hehe

HAPPY MAMA'S MONTH!!!!
-sedeyh jugak march da nk abes...~
*n ma...pray for me dat i study well...please...i never fail to feel anxious n unease b4 any exam..huhu

day before the closing post

2010-03-30T16:00:00.000+02:00

wow...i really didn't expect i'd b dis consistent in posting my mother's advice evry single day in march...but alhamdulillah, sumhow, i did manage...:D

today's advice wud b the last one b4 the final post tomorrow...uhuh~
an advice...
that i personally witness...
which can change...
a very cool gurl into a "giddy' one...LOL
an advice i can't object to say dat people fall into giggles and smiles....ehem...
the one dat gurls my age...of course wud b talking n definitely thinkin about...hahaha
this advice...if u got it, it will definitely b really hard to forget!

well, it's obvious "about what" it is by now ryte?

hmm...dis was about 3 and 1/2 yrs ago plus minus 2-3 months...i was at the airport...wif all my families...n of course dear friends...most of the gen6 to b exact (some of us flew first)...we were due to depart to egypt...:D

wif all the cryings and goodbye sobs...i hugged all my family members...jz by the escalator down to the passport site...n on my mother's turn (the last one)...hugged me n held my shoulder...mama said-

"eh! liyana kalau nk kawen nnt bg tau mama dulu tau!"

....

.....

..........

huh???

for a moment there i tot...huh???

"hehe...takkanla x bg tau mama!"...
honestly, i didn't see dis advice coming...LOL...
but...
reaching my fourth yr here in cairo...i understood why mama gave me dis advice!...:D

dun worry mama...if i do have the intentions, u'll b the first person to know!
(owh mimi, of course u too!...but after my mum k!)

this life is really filled with loves~

baca doa tolak bala

2010-03-29T10:38:00.000+02:00

today's advice came very recently, jz last yr during the swine flu pandemic

i received an email from my mum, attached to it-

urm...great...amalkn!
but sorry mama, i didnt...forgot about it once i've saved it...but, when i went home last yr n evrybody "knows" to read it after maghrib together...i tend to remember it-

thnx mama!

wondering, does dis work on seasonal flu?~
may evryone stay healthy especially nk exam nie...hehe...ameen!

dun b too direct!

2010-03-28T14:45:00.001+02:00

hmmm...

well, i dunno about my personality...honestly it really depends on individual judgement...but i came to realize dis one particular habit of mine - straight to the point! (or in other words...too direct n i'll get people responding like dis- "slambe je cakap macam tu!"...erk~)...LOL

#or sumbody literally did respond to me like dis "lynne, dat really isn't a compliment!"...huhu...i really do apologize for my misuse of proper description, honestly, no offense!

well, i never thought that it was a bad thing until-

one evening, while we were heading back from a book fair or a pc fair from PWTC (if am not mistaken), well, u know KL~...so "zahmah" as egyptian says (crowded):p...my parents and i were stuck in KL's traffic jam...n we were due to pick up my youngest brother from school but mama thought dat we cudn't make it, so-

"liyana, tolong call ona...cakap kat dy, mama n ayah stuck kat KL...rasenye dlm 2 jam lagi nie...x sempat nk sampai shah alam jemput amat...boleh x mintak tolong ona jemputkn amat dari skolah."

"ok!"...n i absentmindedly dialed ona's number and she picked up-

"hello, ona...ni..mama mintak tolong amekkn amat kat skolah-..."

"isyh!...bukan cakap macam tu!!!...explainla dulu...we are trapped in traffic jam! haisyh!!! bak sini handphone tu biar mama cakap!"

huh???

i was blurrrr...was it wrong???..."manners dear...manners!...nk mintak tolong orang kene berlapik sikit, baru org x rase berat nk tolong kite"

ooo...(huhu...leceh la, stret to d'point kn senang- i tot to myself...however we say it, it still means the same)

n i never really gave another thought on this subject

not until i started living independently and have to deal wif many kinds of people around the world.

yup!...manners is important - to keep the friendship going on...to keep the bonds among our colleagues n peers and doctors and patients and of course most importantly on asking people for help! (people are variable...mind u!...- n of course, they includes me...LOL)
hadn't mama exposed me to such condition, i'd be ignoring this trivial but proves to be crucial act-

i apologize if i unintentionally being so direct to any one of you..mayb it's my nature (huhu)...but i can't deny, we need to learn the art of communication~
*haha, funny to think of that we still have 4 communication skill classes to finish...